New Year’s Eve, people. I have a huge night planned. I’ll make burritos, read Jane Eyre, and fall asleep by 10PM. Don’t mess with me, people. Oh, I might actually do a shot or two.

Ok, I need to knock out a proper year end bullet post. Here we go:

Best Day: Thursday, Oct. 11th, in Laverna, Italy. You can read about it at http://randomanthonyontheroad.blogspot.com/. Man, that was a great day.

Worst Day: A day in early August, when my mother-in-law freaked out on me in her kitchen, and I ended up leaving western NY early.

MAJOR TRENDS/BIG CHANGES/NEW DEVELOPMENTS

I finished my dissertation. I’m glad it’s over. Honestly, I don’t feel as if I achieved anything huge by interviewing and observing a slew of teachers then writing a 200 page paper about the experience. I guess I learned a lot about research and perseverance. I learned just as much about jumping through hoops.

My two best purchases of the year were, shockingly, both at Cabela’s, a hunting and fishing store. I’m a vegetarian who has never hunted in his life. However, this year I bought 1) a great sleeping bag, and 2) really warm hiking boots. The kids and I pass the sleeping bag around, using it more as a really warm cover, and the boots served me well in Italy and beyond.

I found myself shopping less this year. I just don’t need as much, I don’t know, stuff.

I switched positions at work. I get to work with students more and I deal with the inter-faculty bullshit less. I taught a ton this semester, way more than usual, but I had fun and rekindled some classroom passion. Next semester I should have more free time. I’m looking forward to writing, reading, and program development.

This was a good year, a transitional year. More later. I need to talk through last year’s goals, etc., but the boys are watching Sportscenter and I can’t concentrate.

I didn’t realize year’s end approached so quickly. New Year’s Eve hadn’t entered my consciousness until I noticed the NFL cancelled “Monday Night Football” because of the holiday. Oh well. Tomorrow I’ll write some proper year-end notes. Tonight I’ll stick to the journal.

Last night I took T and S to the local high school basketball game. We hung out near the visitors’ side, since my friend C was in attendance, and his brother played for our opponent, but I would rather be on the visitors’ side anyway. Too many people from the schools know me and look at me (I perceive) as if I’m slightly off-kilter. Notice I said I was in the high school. Maybe the high school drama rubs off on the adults as well. The boys watched the game and raided the concession stand while C and I talked. I cut out with the boys by about 6:15. N was asleep by the time we arrived home. M and T hit a party down the street. S begged off so he could watch the Patriots game. We had a great time together, especially in the second half, and we were so wired when the game ended we couldn’t get to sleep. S read comics and I read some Greek plays until about 10. I didn’t sleep well and woke by seven. M said she was up all night, like me, so I let her sleep until about eleven. The boys watched old “Underdog” episodes and played Wii while I cleaned and worked out on the elliptical. Brief sidebar…I watched Samantha Brown’s Barcelona episode while knocking out 30 minutes on the elliptical. Rarely do I want to visit, right off the bat, someplace Ms. Brown visits, but Barcelona looks cool.

After a shower I started the laundry and settled onto the couch for more football. Within a few minutes I conceded the remote to S because none of the games seemed very interesting. Instead of watching I hit Costco and the supermarket. When I returned home I made burritos. My burrito folding technique sucks. Burritos, however, might be the perfect food. Later, after M and the boys went sledding with half the neighborhood, I took a bath and read “Jane Eyre.” Once dry I continued with the book under the covers in my room and knocked out over sixty pages through early evening. S and I watched the football highlights. N fell asleep on my lap. I made a special point of reading with T in his room. He and I don’t get to hang out, just the two of us, enough.

The house is quiet now. I’m not sure what to do. Maybe I’ll make tea and pray. Good night.

Randomanthony on the road is up! Here's the complete Italy blog. I may edit here and there, but I like the way it emerged. Check it out.

http://randomanthonyontheroad.blogspot.com/

Good morning. The boys are watching the first Star Wars (er, actually the fourth, The Phantom Menace) while playing Nintendo DS. I should be slightly hung over, after a couple shots of whiskey last night, but I’m feeling ok.

The last couple of days have been decent. On Thursday afternoon I hit the coffee shop, turned on the Mp3 player (“In Our Bedroom After The War”) and knocked out a solid first draft of the Italy journal. After I arrived home I hung out with the boys and finished the second Bourne movie. This one was probably my least favorite of the three, although the trilogy was strong, and I can’t complain when I can find the films at the library. I hit the bedroom with “Early Bird” and fell asleep.

Yesterday morning I hit work before the storm started. I continued the “clean up my computer files” project and kept the lights low. A couple of maintenance guys were working in the bathroom, but other that the noise down the hall, the building was quiet. I left near noon. I had underestimated the snowstorm. This storm was significant. The traffic on 43 moved slowly, and I had to be careful not to ditch the car. I don’t think the speedometer reached 50. Silver dollar size flakes were falling; a beautiful storm if one doesn’t have to drive. I turned on SOTL and gutted out the commute. My oil light flashed on, too. I detoured at Costco for dog treats, fresh mozzarella cheese, and iced tea. I also considered buying Knob Hill whiskey for twenty bucks but decided against the purchase.

After I ate lunch Shadow and I walked through the snowy cemetery. I took some pics, but I don’t have them loaded onto the comp yet. I’ll post them soon. I read further in “Early Bird” (very quick book) and took T back to the cemetery for snowboarding. We struggled with the new snowboard bindings and gave up quickly. S visited friends across the street, T stayed with other friends, and N and I watched Phantom Menance. That boy is obsessed with Star Wars. I edited the Italy journal while we watched the film. M and the neighborhood kids all played in the back field until dinner time. I had a salad with the fresh mozzarella and decided to get drunk. A case of Heineken sat in the fridge, but I didn’t want just beer, and I regretted skipping the Knob Hill purchase at Costco. I drove to Vlad’s. He had Knob Hill for 28 bucks. I bought a bottle, relying on the “local business” ethos to salve the increased price, and stopped at a neighbor’s to borrow a shot glass on the way home.

I downed two shots, chased by Heineken, by 7:00PM. These are the first shots I’ve downed in, oh, probably five years, and I doubt I’ve done more than five shots (including last night’s) in the past decade. I’m not a shot guy. Hard liquor always made me sick as a teenager. However, I chose Knob Hill because the label emphasized its smooth nature, and I read “smooth” as “won’t make you gag when you drink it”. The first shot was tolerable, the second one made me jump around the kitchen until the taste disappeared. Still, I liked the buzz I got; it’s very weird to feel that drunk without beer’s bloat. Plus, I didn’t have to pee every ten seconds. I’m also curious about whiskey economics. The bottle cost 28 bucks. A case of Heineken costs a little less. Still, my two shots caused a buzz I would estimate equal to three beers. The bottle still looks full. Seems like a good deal. James warned me about cheap whiskey, and I was surprised Vlad’s stocked bottles as low as eight or nine bucks. I can’t imagine drinking that shit. I doubt it’s smooth.

I finished “Early Bird” while still somewhat buzzed. I thought the book was interesting but too staged. You’ve got this successful Jewish writer who won’t stop talking about how Jewish he is parlaying his success into a book deal through which he moves to Florida for “spontaneous” interactions with retirees. I don’t know. Rather than experience retirement then writing the book, the book was clearly in the forefront of his mind throughout the experience. “Let’s go to Florida and write a funny book about old people!” He does treat the old folks with respect, though, and he handles the balance between patronizing the elderly and not making them sound like total assholes well. Plus, the bingo scene is great.

I was up for a couple hours last night. Wish I could have slept. Depressing.

Ok, I’m somewhat caught up. More later. Have a good day. The sun is out.

I’m in local library’s quiet room, listening to DBT, answering email and posting on the eels message board. The snow we’re expecting tomorrow is tracking south, so we’ll probably get less than expected. Maybe I’ll drive into work tomorrow and water the plants. I’m glad to be in the library, away from the kids for a while their friends visit. Maybe I’ll work on the Italy journal then drive over to Holy Hill.

Ok, I promised my 2007 booklist. "L" means "from the library." "M" means "my own book." Here we go:

Gaiman-“Fragile Things” (L)
Ha Jin-“The Crazed” (L)
Fitzgerald-“The Great Gatsby” (M)
Murakami-“The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle” (M)
Murakami-“After Dark” (L)
Murakami-“Dance, Dance, Dance” (M)
Farris-“Then We Came To The End” (L)
Lethem-“Gun With Occasional Music” (L)
M. John Harrison-“Light” (M)
Franzen-“How To Be Alone” (M)
Gibson-“Spook Country” (M)
Dunn-“But Enough About Me” (M)
D. Foster Wallace-“Consider the Lobster” (M)
Levin-“A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines” (L)
Smith-“My Boring Ass Life” (M)
Spoto-“The Reluctant Saint” (L)
M. John Harrison-“Nova Swing” (M) (Still need to finish the last twenty pages)
Walsh-“All Over But The Shouting-Oral History of the Replacements” (M)
Doyle-“I Love You, Beth Cooper” (L)
Murakami-“A Wild Sheep Chase” (M)

Comments on the book list:

These are all books I read for the first time in 2007. Re-reads don’t count.

The best book I read was “The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle”, in my opinion Murakami’s masterpiece. The scenes of the main character sitting at the bottom of the well haunt me.

The worst book I read was “Nova Swing.” I liked the prequel, “Light”, but near the end “Nova Swing” felt like homework.

I read a lot of lighter books this year, probably due to the dissertation focus through the first six months and the dissertation aftermath in the second six months. Still, even some of the lighter books were substantial in their own way. The Foster Wallace, Smith, and Farris were all great reads without particularly ponderous themes.

Twenty books, eight from the library, 12 of my own.

I assert, once again, that books are the best entertainment value in the world. Ok, consider the Replacements book, which cost about 18 bucks (Borders coupon) and took me about five hours to read. A quick read. What is that, a little more than three bucks an hour? That’s probably the most expensive read on the list, too. I bought “The Wind-Up Chronicle” for eight bucks used, and that book took a while to read. I’m a quick reader, too. I’m not even considering the library issue, either.

I’m about halfway through “Jane Eyre”, and I might finish “Early Bird” by the end of the year.

Ok, back to the Italy journal. More later.

It’s only 7:15PM, but the hour feels much later. N and I just chatted in his bed before he fell asleep. He told me I had “weird plans” after I made up a couple bedtime stories for him. He also asked for me instead of his mother. N and I have grown closer the last few months. I feel good about that.

The day after Christmas can be difficult. T, for example, wants parental attention just about every moment. Today he wanted to play Risk constantly, even though we played both Risk and Stratego (he won the former, I won the latter) yesterday afternoon and evening. I woke later than usual, after seven, and had a difficult time getting moving. T and I drove over to Michael’s to buy a 24 X 30 frame for the Italy collage M made as my Christmas gift. We then cut over to Borders for 50% calendars (Harry Potter for the kitchen, beagles (T’s pick) for the boys’ room, gardens for my office) and Best Buy to pick up the monitor I ordered online yesterday. Best Buy sucked. First, T unleashed the hooks from one of those line-arranger devices, sending the cord flying. He knew how to fix the device, at least, so he’s probably done it before. Ha. Second, I ordered the stupid monitor online so I could get in and out of the store easier. Just walk up to the counter and pick it up, right? Wrong. At first the lady behind the counter told me I would have to wait in the return line. Fuck that. About twenty people were in that line. I rarely do this sort of thing, but I bitched at the help desk, and they got someone to help me. Fuck you, Best Buy. You suck.

The monitor was a bit of a splurge, but our monitor (as of yesterday) was old and huge. Plus, every time I looked at it I was reminded of M’s unwise computer purchase through her brother. She bought the computer, but she didn’t get them to throw in a monitor. Lame. I used a 60 buck gift certificate, found a decent model on sale, and only dropped about 150 of my own cash. Still, that’s extravagant, as far as I’m concerned, but the monitor is cool and should last us a long time.

M’s mom left after lunch. I still felt a bit out of it, so I showered and settled on the couch with the first Bourne movie. T still wanted to hang out, so he watched some of the film with me until he got bored and went upstairs. I read Murakami before dinner, finishing “A Wild Sheep Chase.” Great book. I can’t quite figure it out, I guess, but I don’t expect to figure it out. More as the book settles in my mind. I think there was a lot in the text about evil and desperation and addiction and (this is clear) weakness that defines one as human but could ruin one’s life. I loved the isolation of the last fifty or so pages. Very interesting. I made black beans, feta cheese, and spinach for dinner, finished the Bourne film, and cleaned the first floor of all the leftover Christmas crap. The front porch is a disaster. Maybe I’ll tackle that tomorrow.

The rest of Christmas day was fine, by the way. Shadow and I walked through town and cut through the woods on the way home. We saw a whitetail. T and I played Risk, I read for a while, and all was ok in the world.

M’s mom’s visit was relatively painless.

I was just cruising some of the local school websites and I realized that I’m doing a better job than ever of avoiding getting myself riled up about stupid things. I’m letting them go. Also, I read a newspaper article about Teach for America coming to Milwaukee, and I was able to breathe through what a fucking stupid idea that would be. Well, I was still angry, I guess, but I didn’t think about the issue all day. I’m still thrown by vacations, but I’m breathing better.

Bullet point time!

I like the new Drive By-Truckers, “Brighter Than Creation’s Dark”, quite a bit. The band had three choices: 1) make a slick rock album like “Blessing and a Curse”, 2) try to blow the paint of the walls, like early in their career, and 3) do something else. They went with the last choice, and I think they’re the better for it. The new disc is solid without trying too hard. As far as I’m concerned DBT has nothing to prove, and by letting go of the idea they have something to prove they’ve released the smartest, most grown up record of their career.

D and I decided that “Top Gun” is the great divider of the last twenty years. If you liked “Top Gun”, you are the enemy. If you didn’t like “Top Gun” we could potentially be friends. I’m trying to find a hole in this theory, but I can’t find one yet.

T, S, and I were going to see “The Golden Compass” yesterday, but the review seemed scary, so we skipped the film. I would have loved to see a movie reputed for relative godlessness on Christmas, but I didn’t want the boys crapping their pants. I read “kidnapping” in the review and that was enough. We planned on “National Treasure” instead, but the boys bailed to play with their toys. I wasn’t complaining.

I’m not sure what I’m reading next. I have “Early Bird” coming from the library. I can’t figure out why it’s not at the reserve desk already, as it’s at my library, but maybe the clerks are mad because I brought a movie back late. I don’t know. I suppose I could finish “Jane Eyre.” I also have Ha Jin’s new book ready. Tomorrow I’ll most likely post my 2007 reading list with commentary.

I feel like drinking something other than beer. Not wine. Whiskey or something. I don’t know where to start. Recommendations are welcome.

It’s only 7:35, but we’re close to shutting down for the evening. M’s mom couldn’t believe we go to sleep so early. Winter has arrived in Wisconsin. Dusk falls by six. God help you if the day was grey and the dusk falls early. You might as well go to sleep. Good night.

Merry Christmas! T is playing Nintendo DS, S is watching Sportscenter, and N is playing with his Heroscape and Matchbox guys on the floor. The sun is shining, first time in a few days, and everything except my lack of a workout and too much breakfast pizza (a Christmas tradition) is ok in the world.

This morning N and I were both up by five. He checked out the presents on the front porch then settled into the couch for pre-dawn television. T and M woke by six, and we decided to wake N by six-thirty. M’s mom was up by seven. The boys took turns opening presents. T was slightly spazzy, but you know, it’s Christmas morning, so I can’t complain. M did a good job with the presents…a couple Wii games, football jerseys, a Nintendo DS, remote control helicopters, lego sets, snowboards, tons of heroscape guys. Usually I pick up some presents for the boys, but this year M got into a groove and ended up choosing just about everything. I got M the first season of “Desperate Housewives” on DVD. She got me an awesome 20 X 30 collage of my Italy pictures. M’s mom got me gift certificates from Amazon and Best Buy. I think I’ll add to the Best Buy one and pick up a new desktop monitor. No plans for the Amazon cash. You have to think of Amazon as more than a bookstore these days. I mean, what can’t you get on Amazon? Too much pressure.

Last night T and I went at it at church because, about ten seconds before he was supposed to go on stage as the little drummer boy, he told me had to pee. I told him I was disappointed in him, as he had been around church for an hour and a half before that, but apparently he did well. I was pretty tired, and M had messed up the start time to the point where we arrived at church over an hour before the start time. I read Murakami in the coat room before the program started. Anyway, N and I left early and both of us were asleep before eight. He came into the room with me and crashed next to me while I read. Here’s a picture:



I’m wired, so perhaps Shadow and I will walk through town. The weather channel reads 32 but with the sun the temps seem higher. More later.

Early Sunday morning, not much after three, but I fell asleep last night by eight, so I can’t complain of the early hour. I’m dressed to work out, but I don’t want to start making noise this early. I can wait.

Yesterday was fine. M and her mom went to lunch with some friends so I had the boys from 10 to about 3. I declared the day “open season on Wii and the TV” in celebration of the opening of winter break. S and N, in particular, gorged on Wii-time. T, true to form, got bored after a couple minutes and bounced back and forth from Wii to the television. I worked on the Italy journal, cleaned the house, and watched part of “Stardust.” After M and her mom arrived home I drove out to Bed, Bath and Beyond for new kitchen curtains. I bought, of course, the wrong kind. M says she’ll take them back. I also hit the used book store on BD road. The store was a bit crowded, but I love the smell of the books, so I wandered the stacks and considered buying “Possible Side Effects” but displayed a heroic (for me) self-control by leaving the store without a purchase. M called while I was on the road and said her mom would watch the kids if we wanted to go out to dinner. Ok. I picked her up and we hit Alterra’s. She ate some sort of spinach salad and I ate a mozzarella and mushroom sandwich. I looked at cool near tea kettles but again declined to open my wallet. Later I hit the upstairs bedroom and knocked out thirty pages of Murakami before falling asleep early.

I should mention the fog. The warmer temperatures have brought on some serious fog. Maybe I’ll shoot some pictures. Also, the wind is blowing very strong this morning…a constant whir, if you will, if you listen from the kitchen.

Ok, I'm going to post the whole damn Italy journal soon, but I went through some other people's picture sites today, and I found some pics with me in the frame I want to post. Here they are....mostly pictures of my colleagues and I goofing around in Italy. My wife didn't go on the trip, so these are all friends from work. My apologies to anyone in the pics who didn't want to be seen online, but I got the pics from the internet. I guess you're doubly screwed now. Here we go.

In front of our Assisi Casa:





Near the fort on top of Assisi:

Sitting at Laverna:

This is my favorite picture...MA and I at Greccio:

Everyone at Greccio:


I need to finish the entire journal! Soon!

Early afternoon, just before two, I’m back in the rocking chair in an empty house. M, N, and M’s mother are off shopping. She’s visiting through next Wednesday. The less we speak of the visit the better. This blog is public, you know.

This has been a decent cool-down week. The weather is much improved, close to forty, and some of the snow has melted. The sidewalks are brown with runoff. Shadow and I walked the cemetery a couple times. Maybe we’ll go again before I pick up the boys from school. This morning I woke before five, after falling asleep early last night, and stairmastered before 5:30. After a quick breakfast and shower I left for work. The sky was gunmetal grey, like yesterday’s cemetery sky, beautiful and Midwestern, heavy and low, like the earth reaching down from above you instead of lying under your feet. I cleaned up the office, filing stacks of leftover papers, and I’ll continue on Monday with organizing my computer files. Rock and roll. I also burned some discs for friends and helped a colleague with budget issues. Budgets are your friend. Repeat after me. Later I met another colleague for coffee. We drove to Alterra’s and hung out for a couple hours. Well, he had coffee, too, while I alternated between hot chocolate and Italian soda. We gossiped about the U and talked about Italy. After I dropped him by his car I drove home. Today’s the boys’ last day of school, and I promised them smoothies or Italian sodas (their choice) after I pick them up. Later I might read Murakami and keep a low profile. I’m thinking of hitting Chicago Sunday. More later. I’ve got time.

What day is today? Tuesday? Yes. Tuesday. I’m not tired, but the clock is nearing ten, so I suppose I should either pop a melatonin or start drinking (not both, mind you). I’ve already opened a beer, so I suppose drinking will win the night. D and I were on the phone earlier, and I described melatonin as a recreational drug. Yes, that’s it for me, ladies and gentlemen, minerals that help you sleep. I love the deep, hibernation-like slumber of melatonin. I’ve slept well the last few months, big change from last year, so I don’t really need the mineral, but I wouldn’t mind popping one now and then for (lame) kicks.

Yesterday I caught “No Country For Old Men.” Whoo, that film was great. I’m a huge Cormac McCarthy fan, and my standards are high, but I can say with confidence that the Coen brothers captured the spirit of the author’s work. I loved the isolation of the wasteland and the small town streets. The set designer deserves an award, too. Great movie.

After the film I hit CVS to pick up our Christmas cards. Last night passed painlessly. I read the first forty pages or so of “Wild Sheep Chase” before falling asleep in the spare bedroom. This morning I stairmastered, showered, and wrote out a few Christmas cards before returning library books, gassing up the Saturn, and hitting Blockbuster. I rented four films (Balls of Fury, Stardust, Underdog, The Simpsons Movie). The clerks were in a bit of a huff because the computers weren’t working, but luckily I had enough cash to pay for the films because the credit card machines were down with the computers. I stopped by the post office for stamps, sent out my Christmas cards, and drove home. Today is N’s fifth birthday. M had an observation, so I gave N a choice between the zoo and a movie. He chose the zoo. I regretted mentioning the zoo at first, since we’re about thirty minutes away, and our membership had expired, but I bit the bullet because dammit, today is N’s birthday, and he should get to do what he wants sometimes. I couldn’t have made a better decision. He and I had a great time. Plus, the lady at the little hut in front of the zoo let us visit for free because I said I would renew my membership inside (which I didn’t). The zoo was pretty much deserted; we saw maybe two dozen other people in two hours. We started with the penguins and monkeys, moved to the fish/snakes, then to the small mammals, back to the polar bears and sea lions, across to the Australian house, over to the wolves, giraffes, elephants, and big cats, then finished with the birds and monkey islands. The day was bright and warm, even if snow was piled everywhere, and N practically ran from building to building. We bought two moldarama pieces, a koala and a gorilla. He and I don’t get to hang out enough. Man, today was fun.

T took his drum lesson after school. When he arrived home we did the cake and ice cream thing for N (pictures to follow). The boys and I watched The Simpsons until I decided the episode (the one in which Homer gets stuck in the cave) was too obscene for the boys. Later T, S and M drove to the high school where T sang with the older kids as part of the holiday choir concert. I guess everything went well.

Tomorrow I’m cleaning. I feel decadent, skipping work, but I work too much and too hard as it is. More later.

I’m in the corner, home, considering heading out to a movie, but T, N, and one of N’s friends are over and M needs to go out for a bit. T said his stomach hurt this morning, before school, but I made him try out the morning. The secretary told me he was “very insistent” that she call me so I could pick him up. That’s my boy. He looks fine now, but he almost never misses school, so I can’t complain.

Ok, so much for a quiet afternoon. Anyway, I’ve been thinking of writing up an entry on my favorite 2007 music, and this seems as good a time as any. A couple guidelines:

1) This is not a “top ten albums that were released in 2007” list. I don’t keep up enough with music for that type of delineation.
2) Some are albums, some are artists, some are both.

Without further ado…

A) Stars of the Lid. I probably listened to Stars of the Lid more than any other artist this year. I focused most of my listening on “The Tired Sounds of Stars of the Lid” but I haven’t heard a bad disc in their catalog. They’re supposed to tour America next spring. Can’t wait.

B) Sparklehorse. I discovered Sparklehorse this spring, and they’ve quickly become one of my favorite bands.

C) Vic Chesnutt. I saw VC about fifteen years ago, when he supported Bob Mould in Chicago, and his work has always interested me. This year, spurred by his “Monkey in the Zoo” track on the Daniel Johnston tribute disc, I delved deeper into his catalog. “About to Choke” is a classic. I’m having a hard time finding some of his other material, believe it or not, but I’ll track it all down sooner or later. His 2007 release, “North Star Deserter” is as dark and dense as anything I’ve heard in a long time.

D) Mum. Icelandic post-rock...I played this early in the morning in my office a lot this fall.

E) We All Have Hooks for Hands-“The Pretender”. I played this disc to death over the summer…nine kids from South Dakota making glorious, melodic noise? You don’t have to ask me twice. Great disc.

F) The Hold Steady-“Boys and Girls in America”. I know this was released last year, but I don’t care.

G) AA Bondy-“American Hearts”. I’m not a huge acoustic guitar fan, sorry, older brother, but this disc caught and held my attention. Nice recommendation, Colin.

H) Low-“Things We Lost in the Fire”. A lost classic, as far as I’m concerned. TWLITF is one of those discs of which I had heard but never heard. The opening track still runs through my head a lot.

I) Caribou-“Andorra”. This is another disc I played over and over again this fall. Sometimes the Brian Wilson imitators get it right.

J) Feist-“Let it Die” and Regina Spektor’s “Begin to Hope.” Two brilliant singers who ended up on VH1 despite the network’s tepid tastes. Hope springs eternal for the commercial prospects of cute and talented girl singers.

Ok, that’s ten, so I’ll stop for now. I’m sure I’m forgetting some. You know how it is.

I’m recovering from a nasty cold. M and the two older boys are upstairs, reading Harry Potter, and they’ll be asleep soon, I hope. N fell asleep a while ago. I know I’m recovering because by early evening I bounced off the walls to the point where I stairmastered twenty minutes while watching Sunday night football. If I hadn’t exercised I doubt I would sleep tonight. As it stands I only dismounted the machine after twenty minutes so I could say goodnight to the boys. I could have lasted double that stretch of time.

Let me back up to yesterday. The morning passed easily, although I was sick, reading and listening to T and a friend play music upstairs. Snow fell pretty much since dawn. Graduation, which I dreaded, was scheduled for 3PM. I drove through the snow down to my office in time for a cup of anti-cold tea. While I sat in the dark, listening to Stars of the Lid, a colleague came in and asked a question. I turned to check my computer for an answer and knocked the hot tea directly on my leg. Next I screamed “fuck!” about ten times in a row, sending my colleague into panic before she ran out of the room looking for towels. By the time she returned with towels and a sprig of aloe (I’m not making this up, mind you) my leg was pretty badly burned. The tea was right out of the teapot. I checked my leg in the bathroom mirror. The skin was red and somewhat blistered. Fuck it. Between the flu remnants and burnt skin I decided to blow off graduation. My colleague agreed to carry the U banner and I drove home (almost crashing in the process, by the way, on the off-ramp nearest my house). I was nauseous and vaguely hallucinatory. When I reached home I parked on the couch and hardly moved the rest of the evening. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered either the best or the worst excuse for missing graduation in recorded history. You decide. However, if you want to make an informed decision, feel free to pour boiling tea on your skin beforehand.

Today the sun returned, at least, and I shook some of the December depression. This morning N and I dropped M and the boys off at church then hit Alterra’s for a smoothie. I don’t like Alterra’s, it’s a little too Boulder for me, all overplanned exposed wood and underfed customers, but the space was closer than my usual haunt. N and I had fun, double-strawing the smoothie, chatting while the sun poured through the windows. After we picked up everyone and drove home S and I watched the Pack game. Later M and T played out in the snow while S and I tracked football. I took a bath the made the bed in our room and read (“Our Band Could Be Your Life”, which a friend returned Saturday morning) under the covers.

Tomorrow I might skip work. I’m so tired. I guess I haven’t taken a real day off since August. You never stop working in this gig. Hell, I know I’m going to check my email as soon as finish the journal. The work never stops. I also believe (and have said before) the cumulative exhaustion o the last fifteen years is catching up to me. Two masters, one doctorate, three kids, full time work, fourteen and a half years. I feel like a marathon running asked to run marathon after marathon after marathon. Sooner or later you shut down. I suppose I should live and work with a little less intensity. I don’t relax much. Tomorrow, though, I may visit Holy Hill Basilica on my own, just to sit and listen, then take in “No Country for Old Men.” We’ll see.

Ok, a few quick bullets:

I picked up the new Magnetic Fields, “Distortion”, today. Wow, this disc sounds like their most complete yet. MF have a habit of releasing discs with three or four great songs combined with eight fuck-around songs. “Distortion” sounds better than anything I’ve heard.

“Crank” is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

I stand a good chance of tying (three way) for the football pool win this week.

I’m over halfway through Jane Eyre, reading in spurts, and I’m enjoying the book a lot. However, I might put down the book for a bit and return to the Murakami or something.

We’ve been very good with money this fall, but I’m sick of feeling broke. I’m past feeling like I need to buy shit for the sake of buying shit, but every now and then I want to buy shit I want. Oh well. We chose this life, and I don’t regret it.

I’m in the rocking chair, Friday evening, while M is in the kitchen, getting herself a beer, S is playing football on the computer, and T and N are watching a Chipmunks Christmas special on television. I’m not feeling particularly well. Last night a student’s car needed a jump, so I stood out in the 20F weather and tried to help. Well, either I’m an automotive moron (a distinct possibility) or something beyond the battery was wrong with her car, because we couldn’t get it started. Poor kid. She was nineteen, just trying to get home, wandering the halls looking for help. Her dad eventually picked her up.

Tuesday was a snow day, by the way. I arrived at work by 6AM, before traffic, and I was stunned to hear, within thirty minutes, that both the boys’ school and the U closed due to weather. The building was mine, so to speak, so I played loud music and cleaned my office until 10AM. I hit Blockbuster, snagged a couple movies (“The Bourne Ultimatum” and the new Harry Potter), and drove home during a break in the weather. T and I watched some of the Harry Potter film, S and N played Wii, and everyone played with legos together later. The snow kicked up again almost as soon as I arrived home. Three pictures:

http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/?action=view&current=snowpics017.jpg

http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/?action=view&current=snowpics016.jpg

http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/?action=view&current=snowpics015.jpg

The rest of the week passed quickly. I attended a long FYE meeting Wednesday then hung out with N while M and the other boys were at school for a parent committee thing. Yesterday was the last student teaching seminar. Today we had School of Education in the morning, the College Christmas party at noon (I actually attended and had fun, believe it or not), then Faculty Senate at three. Tonight I’m taking it easy. After tomorrow’s graduation I should have room to breathe. Good night. Snots running out of my nose.

I’m awake early, I’ve been up for a few hours, but I fell asleep around seven, so I can’t complain. Today is a long work day, 8:30AM to about 7, I think, if I’m lucky. I’m in the end of the semester “If I can make it until Friday…” mode. Yesterday was fine. I arrived at work by 7:15AM and knocked out a lot in my office until 11, when I attended a somewhat weird meeting in the other building. A quick visit to the art building to talk through last week’s political (at work, not the country) landscape with a colleague, then I rode north.

N was in a good mood. He and I played guys in his room before M and I watched the start of “Overnight.” After M and N left for the library I cut out for the coffee shop with “Jane Eyre.” I love our coffee shop. When I returned the boys and I watched some Samantha Brown (south of France, pretty boring episode, really) and talked through the day. I could taste warm spit, and T reported that half his class, literally, was out sick, so I started worrying about getting sick. I read upstairs (seventy pages of “Jane Eyre” in one day, a lot for that text, I think) and fell asleep early.

“Overnight” was horrifying, by the way. I know guys like that. Arrogant fucks who pretend to use reason but are just stupid. I suppose most of us from working class neighborhoods can recognize people like him. I’m sure as hell that we can recognize where the guys in the band ended up, painting, working construction, etc. There but for the grace of god (and college, and luck, and fear of manual labor) go I.

The shortest day of the year is still ten days away, by the way.

I have a lot bouncing through my head this morning, but I should probably try to sleep before going to work. I suppose I could go early, then come back in the afternoon, before returning late afternoon, but that feels kind of stupid. More later.

Has December 10th arrived already? I don’t mind. We’ve been water-tortured with cold and snow. In other words, rather than one grand blizzard snow has fallen in two or three inch increments and accumulated to a foot or more. I see a couple temps over the next ten days predicted to hit 30, but nothing higher. Looks like the snow will stick around a while.

I fell asleep on the couch last night before eight. I awoke just before four. Eight hours. I’m going to work out pretty soon, probably while watching Samantha Brown, get ready for work, and leave. These early mornings can be dangerous. Depression can hit, especially in the winter, with little warning. This winter has been better, I think, on that end than virtually every winter in memory. I haven’t become seriously sick, crashed for an entire weekend, etc. Keeping my health would be nice.

Yesterday was low key in a good way. T and I tried to make those fancy mint cookies and failed. The batter wasn’t thick enough. Oh well. We had fun. While the kids attended church (penny sale) I cleaned the house. I finished a bit early, spread the blanket on the floor, and prayed for a few minutes. Prayer is hard work. Within ten minutes I’m exhausted. The prayer helps, though. I find I treat people better and remain more relaxed after I pray. I help the bloodstone T and I bought together while I prayed. When the boys returned I worked out (Samantha Brown, Berlin), watched some of the Pack game, showered, and took T and S to the coffee shop. We had the space to ourselves save for a guy in a wheelchair and his handler. I hope, when I’m old and in a wheelchair, someone cares about me enough to park me next to a fire in a coffee shop. Anyway, T and S were great, as usual. We first sat at the counter, facing the harbor windows, and I felt a great calm watching the birds circle the harbor. Later we moved to the fire-ringing seats. When we returned home I watched more football with S, tracked the football pool, and helped T with a project. N and I played, too. Later we read on the couch. I didn’t have to yell at the kids much. They had a good day.

Ok, if I can survive the marathon week in front of me, I’m in the clear for the semester. It’s all about pacing. I’ll try to reach the office today by seven, if not earlier, so I can leave by noon and work at home for the afternoon. Maybe I’ll pick up the boys from school and take the directly to the library. Hope the week starts well for all of you.

The clock reads 7:24PM, T and S upstairs, getting ready for bed, M across the street letting out the neighbors’ dog while they visit Chicago. I’m trying to breathe and stay calm. Maybe I’ll turn off the lights and pray.

This afternoon I drove T and one of his friends to a birthday party at a pet store in the city. After I dropped them off I stopped by Half-Price Books. There are few pleasures in the world as satisfying as wandering through a used book store without time or financial pressures. I didn’t want to spend much cash today, I guess, but I wasn’t pressed for time. The store was busy, and I had to excuse myself as I passed through the aisles, but the space wasn’t so crowded as to grow annoying. Charlotte Bronte’s “Villette” caught my eye, but I put down the book and picked up David Foster Wallace’s “Oblivion” (six bucks) and “Girl With the Curious Hair” (seven bucks) instead. The latter titles are rarer, as far as used books go, so I couldn’t pass. I’d hate to return in a month and find them gone. After leaving the bookstore I considered buying a new plant for the living room or swinging by office to pick up a new print my dean gave me for graduation but I decided instead to head towards home. I stopped at a supermarket to pick up baking supplies. T wanted to make cookies. I directed him to pick two recipes out from a Christmas cookie cookbook. He chose peanut butter/chocolate kisses (a standard, no doubt) and this weird mint concoction that required mint extract, green food coloring, and cream of tartar, none of which I had in the kitchen. After the supermarket I arrived home. M and the other two boys were leaving for a Christmas parade, so D and I talked on the phone about…I can’t remember what we discussed, but the conversation was good. Oh, we talked about poker and whether or not competitive fishing or NASCAR was less worthy of the title “sport.” M and the boys returned home loaded down with Christmas parade swag. T was late returning from the party, worrying me enough to ask M to call the parents responsible for driving him home. He showed up late but happy. S and I watched some football before T and I made the peanut butter/chocolate kisses cookies. I must say they turned out very well. The key is rolling the dough in sugar before baking so the dough looks sparkly. Yes, I know I never take him hunting, but I use words like “sparkly” while describing our activities. I’m a real man.

Anyway, I was in the line at the supermarket, reading the magazine covers, and I saw one in which an actress said, “I know what makes me happy now.” That line intrigued me. Knowing what makes you happy is a very powerful state of being. I can articulate what makes me happy more than ever before. Books make me happy. Financial security makes me happy. Large expanses of unstructured time make me happy. I can also articulate what makes me unhappy. Hegemonic bullshit makes me unhappy. Dressing up to go to work and feeling like I have to kiss someone’s ass makes me unhappy. Feeling like I’m not making a difference makes me unhappy. Boring social events make me unhappy.

I’ve also been thinking of the “exhaustion” question that emerged at this point last year in the journal. I don’t think I’m exhausted, but I do think I’m worn out. The semester hasn’t worn me out; the last thirty-eight years have worn me out. I need to explore this train of thought deeper. Nice to find some insight, though.

I’m thinking of naming the poetry collection “Matchbox Art.” I like it. Good night.

I’m sitting at the dining room table, the remains of an orange next to the computer. I’m also drinking hot tea, cranking the humidifier, and breathing deeply over both devices. On a whim I moved the Wii from the spare bedroom to the living room. The boys are playing Legos Star Wars now. They give the set-up positive reviews because they can sit on the couch, rather than the floor, as they play. I kind of like the scenario as well because I can listen to them play and keep them from railing on each other when Star Wars developments go badly. M is working out, after continuing the grand basement cleaning project, and the sun is shining through all of the windows. The thermometer reads 26 but the weather channel says 10.

I blew off both faculty council and a Franciscan gathering at work this week. I was in one of those “need some space” moods, with a ton of grading/meetings added for good measure, so I either hid in my office or stayed home when I had the chance. M had agreed to watch about half the neighborhood yesterday, messing up an online conference (have to love that elluminate software), and N pinched the dog, but other than that, the afternoon was ok. I don’t think I’ll ever be the dean because I can’t handle social events of that nature. Oh well. You have to learn your desires and limitations, and I’m not tied to ambition the way I once was.

On a lark I checked last year’s journal from this week. Here’s one paragraph:

Friday night, about 9:30PM, drunk and exhausted. I was watching the latest Pirates of the Caribbean earlier (mostly on 2X DVD, which allows me to read the subtitles but pick and choose amongst the scenes) until I felt buzzed enough to get on the computer and write. I have to save my December entries, by the way.

You know, it’s scary how close that entry, from Dec. 8th of 2006, matches last year. I did watch the latest Pirates of the Caribbean last night (I was not impressed, by the way, despite Kiera Knightly’s presence), and I did get slightly drunk. Add “Jane Eyre” and a bath and the evenings weren’t that different. One good change? I followed the above paragraph with a long entry on how exhausted I felt. I’m not feeling that way now.

Actually, M and T watched most of the movie with me as well. T is old enough for the film, I think, and he likes watching with his parents on the couch.

This afternoon I think I’m taking T and one of his friends to a birthday party at a pet store in the city. Maybe I’ll hit half-priced books later, although we’re pretty broke, so I doubt I’ll buy much. Tonight I have both “Overnight” and “History Boys” from Netflix. I should work out as well. Maybe I’ll watch some Samantha Brown.

I wish I were asleep. I’d like to get up early and hit work, but I also don’t want to go to work exhausted. Some melatonin is in my future. I tried to sleep a bit earlier, Stars of the Lid on in the dark, but the end of the semester keeps racing through my mind, so I rose and graded. I suppose this is the last big push before the end of the semester. Same thing every year.

I tried to rest this morning and half-succeeded. I hung out and watched tv, after the cable guy installed a new cable box, and caught the first thirty minutes of the wildly boring and violent last Pirates of the Caribbean. I spent the balance of the afternoon paging through teacher education books and creating an agenda for tomorrow’s UG planning meeting. After school I hung out with the boys, graded some papers, answered some emails, etc. before taking the boys to a local Culvers for their school fundraising night. The space wasn’t crowded, thank God. The cold must have kept people away. We scarfed our ice cream and hit the library for a Tai Chi video I had on reserve. The boys chose books downstairs, including a cool new mythology collection, before we left. When we arrived home I read Jane Eyre before putting on the mp3 player and eventually giving up on sleep. I’m at the cold dining room table now, listening to Tom Waits on random play (“Sins of My Father” plays currently). The room could use a candle or hot tea. More later. Good night.

Just after 8PM, but the hour feels much later. M and the boys are already asleep. M and I started watching “Superbad” earlier in the evening, but she was too tired to watch after the boys were asleep, and I don’t think she found the film as funny as I did, anyway. I saw it in the theatre a while back and laughed a lot. Maybe the crowded theatre effect made a difference.

Tension rules the floor at work. The week before finals week is always worse than finals week. Most of the students’ papers are due and students are studying. The instructors are sick of dumbass questions from students who have waited until the last minute to finish their assignments. Everyone’s pretty much sick of each other. I’m not sure if any learning takes place, honestly. Too bad the semester can’t end Thanksgiving week. I let both my classes out early today. I didn’t see the point in pretending to teach or the students pretending to learn. The rest of the day was painless. A colleague cut my tie in half, we had a mock cookie exchange battle, nothing serious. Oh, a colleague did tell me that a departmental secretary told me I needed to “grow up.” If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that…

Tomorrow I’m staying home to grade. I think I’ll have the discipline. I also need to prepare for a Thursday morning program revision meeting. More later. Good night.

I’m in the dining room, a little after eight, everyone either asleep or close to asleep. Today was a long day, I suppose, but not without merit.

This morning I woke early, before dawn, but M and the boys preceded me onto the first floor. I stairmastered for thirty minutes while watching the first episode of Buffy’s seventh season. M and the boys hit the back field with the neighborhood kids. I don’t know what they were doing out there, snowballs, snowforts, that sort of thing, I imagine. I emptied the crystal, etc. from the living room cabinets, cleaned the wood, rinsed the crystal, and rearranged it all. M and the boys then gathered up more neighbors and visited the local hill with sleds and snowboards. I guess they did well. I read for a bit and cleaned while they were gone. Later S and I watched football while M and N played Wii and T hung out at a friend’s. I made lasagna rolls for dinner, worked on the computer, and, in a few spare moments while M was picking up T and the other two were upstairs, turned down the lights and listened to Stars of the Lid’s “And The Refinement of the Decline”. I’m trying to find some time to pray, to think, every day. Maybe I’ll keep the lights down low after I finish writing and clear my head. After dinner the boys had quiet time, an unmitigated disaster until I gave N and S specific suggestions (action figures, drawing, reading). They were fine afterwards. I still can’t believe how mean they are to each other. Were my brother and I that mean? Probably. T and I played a quick round of Heroscape, too. We watched Zoey 101 together then read and told stories (that was fun, hadn’t told stories for a while) until they fell asleep.

Five bullet posts, since I haven’t bullet-posted lately:

I read Larry Doyle’s “I Love You, Beth Cooper” over the weekend. Quick read…glad I snagged a copy from the library rather than Borders. The book was good, anyway, a good winter weekend diversion, the kind of book one could read on a plane.

I’ll probably finish “Nova Swing” before I return to “Jane Eyre.” I’m only thirty or so pages away from the end of the former, so I might as well knock it out. I’m trudging through to the end because I read “Light”, and I’m almost done, but I can’t say the sequel is my thing.

I still haven’t watched the BBC doc on E and his father. Maybe I’ll check out the doc this week. I have a copy on my computer.

Netflix Queue…”History Boys” and “Overnight.” I’ll probably get “Superbad” (which I loved) and the last Pirates film from Blockbuster.

Coldest day of the year tomorrow, high of twenty-four. I left the house for all of ten minutes today. Maybe I’ll hit work early. Good night.

Quick Christmas Tree Prep Pictures Post...

Christmas tree pictures/video...we got a ton of snow yesterday, bought a Christmas tree, and hung out...

My oldest son stringing lights in the front yard....http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/fromcamera12207011.jpg

My middle son doing the three thing...note rock star hair...http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/fromcamera12207010.jpg

My oldest son checking out the lights at night...http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/fromcamera12207017.jpg

And a video of my kids doing the tree thing...http://i72.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/fromcamera12207008.flv

I’m in the rocking chair on a snowy afternoon. S and N are playing on the computer. M is carrying the Halloween pumpkins into the back field for the winter animals. Mum’s “Go Go Smear the Poison Ivy” plays on the stereo. I hear T laughing at something outside…I bet he threw a snowball at his mother.

The last week was decent. I was busy, just about every day, but I got a lot done. Work drama was minimal, except with a Wednesday student issue, but we’ve passed that (I hope). On Thursday night I drank pretty heavily while watching the Cowboys defeat the Packers. Yesterday I was hungover, but not badly, so I hit a couple morning student meetings, faculty council (during which I probably hangover-spoke too much), and a noon departure. I watched “The Namesake” through the afternoon. Man, I loved that movie. The filmmakers handled the father/son dichotomy perfectly. I could see myself struggling to explain emotional concepts to my kids, or the importance of books and music, etc, like the film’s main characters. I cried a bit towards the end, I’m not ashamed to say. I took a long bath wit “I Love You, Beth Cooper.” I’m digging that book, too, as an easy diversion from “Jane Eyre.” The book arrived at the library’s reserve desk yesterday, and I’ve already topped 100 pages. I’ll probably finish the novel this weekend. More on the book later.

This morning I woke past eight, since I was up for a couple hours in the middle of the night. After a quick shower, T, S and I hit the supermarket and the coffee shop. The former was packed in a nod to the oncoming storm. I sent T and S on a couple missions (e.g. pizza sauce) and shopped quickly. Afterwards we visited the coffee shop. A mom and her daughter vacated the three chairs near the fire as soon as we entered, so we settled in with our books. I screwed up T and S’s Italian soda orders, resulting in some slight divaesque behavior, but besides that episode the kids were fine. I chatted with one of M’s friends for a while then called home to check out our afternoon schedule. M at first proposed a visit to Santa, but changed her mind, so we hit the little Christmas tree stand next to the creek and picked out a tree (thirty one bucks). The wind was blowing pretty hard, at this point, so I hustled through the tie-down (taking a moment to pity the poor bastards working outside) and hustled home. M and the boys set up the tree while I made everyone pizza bagels. N was in a bit of trouble for slight verbal issues, but he’s getting better every week, so I can’t complain. The flurries are everywhere, the wind strong, and I could either stay home all day or walk through the weather. Either would be great. The coffee shop is experimenting with a later closing time, 9PM, and I feel morally obligated to support the effort, so perhaps I’ll visit later. I hope the coffee shop girls don’t think I’m a stalker.

I forgot to mention that a small publication accepted one of my articles. More later. Stay warm.

Today was productive, and I’m rewarding myself with a Rolling Rock and a couple of Hershey’s kisses. Yes, I live wild and dangerously, fear my rock and roll lifestyle.

This morning I woke by six or so, I think, after a solid nine or so hours of sleep. I needed to catch up after the short post-Chicago slumber. Last night I woke at about twelve, but I was able to fall asleep again, so I was feeling pretty healthy in the morning. I did the stairmaster for the length of an “Office” episode (about twenty two minutes), ate breakfast, showered, and dropped the boys off at school. After quick errands to the library (returning Clerks) and the mailbox (returning “Helvetica”, which I highly recommend), I hit the dining room table with the laptop. I lit a candle, turned on some Mum, and started answering a week’s worth of emails. The morning passed quickly and without incident. When N and his friend Brock arrived home, around lunch, I moved to the library and spent most of the afternoon grading papers. Man, my brain was fried by 3:00PM. I don’t know how some people sit in front of a computer all day at work. I’d lose my mind. Anyway, when I returned home I watched some post-Sunday football news, hung out with the kids then returned to the dining room table to finish an article I started a long time ago. I incorporated some colleagues’ feedback into the mix and sent the article on its way. Oh, I forgot to mention this morning I received an email from a student I taught way back ten years ago in Chicago. She’s doing well. The email was a trip…good news.

Ok, the two older ones are ready to read upstairs. I’m not prepared for my 9AM class, although I know what direction I’m headed with it, so I have to get to work early. I’d take some melatonin, but I’m drinking. Only half a beer, though. We’ll see. Good night.

Just past 8:30AM, Sunday morning, bright and sunny. N opened the blinds in the Wii room about a half hour ago, and the boys wanted to play Wii, so I rose. T is watching some Christmas movie starring Danny Devito and the hated Matthew Broderick while M goes through Christmas ads on the couch. I shouldn’t be awake, I guess, but here I am. Today I’ll take it easy. Maybe I’ll make some cookies.

Yesterday was a good day. M took the boys to a local Christmas parade in the late morning, so I had the house to myself for a couple hours. I delayed my Chicago departure for a couple hours to hang out. The last few times I’ve visited I went down too early and ended up exhausted by early afternoon. I left home near one, stopped at work to water all the plants, and drove south. The roads were smooth and clear until the Cumberland toll booth, where the traffic past the toll booth was bad enough to cause motorists to wait at the toll booth for the traffic past the toll booth to break before we could pay the toll. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen that before. I left the Kennedy at Cumberland instead of Higgins, cut through the depressing three-flat streets near the el, and hooked up with Dan a little further down on Higgins. We took Dan’s car. After a bit of confusion (I was four blocks off on the address) we found the new Taco and Burrito House on Central. The space is clean and open, with waitresses, like a real restaurant. They didn’t change the food much, though, so I was satisfied. They make the best tortas in the world. Too many onions in the burrito this time, though. Don’t mess with the perfect recipe, people. Some guy knocked on the window and tried to sell me fake gold, though. To what is the world coming when I can’t eat dinner at the TABH without some asshole banging on the window? Do I really look like the type of guy who would wear fake gold? What’s the north side become? Whatever. We decided to drive down to Reckless instead of Harlem-Irving place, since we had time to kill, so we weaved our way east. At Reckless I bought Vic Chesnutt’s “Silver Lake” (his material can be remarkably hard to find). At Borders I found a photo book of Chicago churches for four bucks. Four bucks! It’s a huge hardcover, too. Earlier J called and said he wouldn’t be able to make the meeting because of a tennis tournament, and while I was in Borders G called, out of nowhere, looking for a ride to the gig. No sweat. We took LSD up to Lawrence and cut across to pick him up. D tried to turn into a thrift store parking lot and I had to take evasive measures. We picked up G and hit the theatre about thirty minutes before the film was set to start. D was convinced next to no one would show, but a pretty good crowd had formed, all the punk rockers smoking out in front of the Portage theatre. Ok, I realize I haven’t mentioned the film lately. Here’s the website. It’s a history of Chicago punk from 1977-1984.

http://www.regressivefilms.com/

They had cool Chicago flag/punk rock t-shirts and posters in the lobby, but they didn’t have my size, so I passed. I snagged a diet coke and we hit our seats. I’m glad we got their early because D was way wrong. I would estimate about 1,000 people showed. The movie started about thirty minutes late. The crowd was a bit rowdy at first but settled down quickly. I thought the film was excellent, even though most of the bands were slightly before my time. In fact, at one point the filmmakers imply that my generation of punk/hardcore interlopers ruined the scene. Yay for us! The movie probably spent a bit too much time on performance footage, and a couple of bands could be dropped without ill effects (Verboten? Not necessary), but the film did speak to the stubborn Chicago pride evident in the music of the period (and just after). I would have focused less on some of the shitty early bands and more on late period gigs that emerged as leaders once people actually started showing up at shows. Next to nothing on Out or Order? Criminal. No real discussion of how everyone came out for the Naked Raygun shows? Just wrong. G said the filmmakers were “overtly reverential” of the scene grandpas, and he’s right. I would have added a couple years and included Lost Cause, Jesus Lizard, No Empathy, and Screeching Weasel. Maybe they’ll do a sequel.

After the gig J wanted to get a drink, but I had been up since 4:30AM, so I wanted to get the hell on the road. Dan dropped me off at the car and I drove north. I turned on Stars of the Lid and opened a diet coke. Man, I was tired. I struggled to keep my eyes open. I opened the window every now and then and kind of freaked as I half-nodded every couple of minutes. Still, I reached home, a little after midnight, and crashed by two.

More later. I’m glad the sun is out.

A couple of local kids were killed in a crash on 1-43 yesterday. Here’s the story:

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=689485

Now, I obviously think of my own kids after reading about tragedies of this nature. T and I talked this morning about carefully choosing who is going to drive where, etc., and I know there is no guarantee my kids will live past college, etc. I’ve done the whole “hug them because you don’t know how long they’ll be here” thing today as well. I want to open this conversation a bit wider, though, to include how small towns respond to the death of its children.

Two of the boys involved in this crash were football players. In turn, I assume the crash will get additional press coverage and an extra layer of grief added into the mix. I do have to ask, though, what if these weren’t football players? Would the grief be as intense? Were these kids punk rockers, would a different sheen cover the crash? I think it would. There would be more subtle, implied blame placed on the kids unless there was no way in hell they could be help responsible (e.g. the kid who died earlier in the year when stopped at a stop sign).

I don’t want to go into details now, but this town doesn’t treat its off-center very well. Chicago didn’t, either, when I grew up, so perhaps this is a planetary concern. I want to think this through. More later.

Yesterday was decent. I was up early, before 3, and I worked out on the elliptical before anyone rose. After six T and I drove to Kohls and picked up some shirts. He was a good sport about the trip, sort of carried away in the black Friday excitement, and we had fun. After Kohl’s we hit Target. I bought a slew of DVDs and a couple DVD sets at insanely low prices. T and I were separated for about ten minutes, while he looked at toys, but after a couple minutes of somewhat frantic searching we found each other. I trust him. The rest of the day passed easily. I worked out again, read Jane Eyre, hit the coffee shop with T and S, and let the hours pass. I should have worked on the Italy journal. Oh, I also watched the first couple season one Office episodes.

Today I’m driving down to Chicago for the film on the history of punk rock. I’m still not sure of the exact plan, but besides the plan, I also want to hit the Taco and Burrito House on Central. I should burn a couple discs for the drive, too. Ok, more later.

I’m sitting in the rocker, again, this time listening to Chopin’s Nocturnes while the boys take a bath. They want to watch a Tom and Jerry Christmas thing in a couple minutes, so I thought I’d write while the first floor is quiet.

Despite all our family traditions flying out the window, this Thanksgiving has been decent. This morning we were all up pretty early, before seven, so T and I decided to take Shadow for an early walk. T wanted to check out the downtown Christmas tree. Snow and ice, however, covered the streets and sidewalks, so we only walked a block before turning towards the cemetery and letting Shadow run between the graves while we crunched over the white grass. We hit the coffee shop after dropping Shadow off at home. The coffee shop was doing great business, surprisingly, while Tristan and I sat in the center chairs, near the fireplace, and read. He delved into another one of the Harry Potters while I read Jane Eyre. I’m enjoying the book quite a bit. I did run into a minor tiff, really my fault, with the coffee shop employees when I asked for a receipt because I was confused as to the high cost of tea filters after I gave T money to buy some. However, the little emo girl seemed more confused than anything, and I think we’re ok. I’d hate to piss off the coffee shop girls. They were talking loudly, though, about some party they attended last night. Keep it down, ladies. Some of us are trying to read. T picked up hot chocolate for his mother before we returned home. S was mad he wasn’t asked to hit the coffee shop with his brother and me, but he was playing Wii when we left, so he wasn’t mad for long. I bet he’ll want to go tomorrow, though. The shop opens at 4AM. Maybe we’ll go early.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the paper was two and a half hours late today, the most important newspaper day of the year. Our delivery person sucks. I apologize, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, but it’s true. After ten years of consistent service, you’ve finally hired a moron. My condolences. Fire her ass. Do not mess with my newspaper. I apologize if I sound overtly negative, but it’s the newspaper, and I live for the morning newspaper.

The rest of the day passed pretty well with a couple of minor bumps. N is sick, so we skipped the annual ride to Stein’s for a Christmas tree, although I get the feeling M didn’t want to go anyway. She slept most of the afternoon while I made dinner. We ran out of toilet paper. I love my wife dearly, but she was the worst need-anticipator, if I may coin a title, I have ever met. She has no concept that if we have one roll of toilet paper left, she should probably buy more so we don’t run out tomorrow. She found a store and bought some today or else we would have wiped our ass with paper towels or something even more disgusting. I also couldn’t find some Thanksgiving dishes, which led to a two minute tirade about the house’s cluttered condition. M just doesn’t care. She doesn’t see anything as messy. Oh well.

The actual dinner was good. M did the turkey. I didn’t eat any, of course. I made a barley/vegetable soup and a shepherds’ pie. The former turned out better than the latter. Maura’s leftover mashed potatoes were excellent, though, and I love the cranberries out of the can and the rolls (which I almost burned). M did the dishes while T and I watched a special on the history of video games. Oh, I also worked out on M’s new stairmaster thing for twenty minutes. Man, I work up a sweat on that device. I guess I’m glad it’s here on the days when the roads are too slippery for running.

I’m feeling slightly claustrophobic, the usual holiday thing, but I’ll be ok tomorrow. I half feel like a beer or two, maybe something clean and light, like a Rolling Rock. Maybe I’ll give it a shot. Good night. Happy Thanksgiving.

I’m in the rocking chair this morning, corner of the dining room, rocking to the humidifier. I’d turn on some music but M wants to do her stairmaster thing in a minute and she’ll want to watch tv. I don’t mind. The boys are upstairs, cleaning the “Wii” room so they can test out the new Stars Wars Lego game they received for earning good report cards. I’m feeling ok, despite a slight sinus threat.

Man, I forgot about the importance of Thanksgiving break. I have said, over and over again, that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but I forgot about its place in the rhythm of the academic semester. I arrived at work early Monday morning and dove into paperwork. I walked out of my office at about 8:30 and the staff, secretaries, etc. were in the hallway talking Thanksgiving. I went back into my office and emerged about thirty minutes later. Everyone was still talking. The week takes on a calm, mellow feel. Yesterday I bought into the feeling. I taught pretty well, I think, although I had to rag at my afternoon class (via email) about attendance. Between classes I wrote up my shopping list, trash talked in the football pool, found videos of people crashing into each other for M (she esp. liked one in which a ref accidentally took a football to the nuts), checked out the black Friday ads, and otherwise avoided gainful employment. I got the hell out of the building by four or so because T had drum lessons. Man, I was exhausted, and I’m still tired. It’s that ‘If I have to do any serious intellectual work in the next forty-eight hours I might collapse” type of feeling. I hope none of my students have much on their plates for the weekend. I don’t know how they could handle it. The office is open today, and I thought about cleaning the office, grading a bit, etc., but I think I’ll skip the drive (snow coming) and maybe finish that article on which I’ve been working and read some “Jane Eyre.”

Last night was decent, by the way. M and the boys were watching a Harry Potter film (the fourth? I can’t keep track), so I cut over to the library to pick up a reserved copy of “Jane Eyre.” The copy was pink and tiny. I’m not sure a less manly book has ever been printed. I decided the text (not the book, if you know what I mean) was unreadable, so I returned the book and drove south. Costco was open, and we needed diet coke, so I swung through the superstore and grabbed a few things. Rain, winter rain, the kind that isolates you no matter who you’re with, poured down. I jumped a couple exits and hit Borders. In light of an upcoming property tax bill, I’ve been trying to avoid spending too much cash, but I had a 25% coupon, so I thought I’d pick up a cheap copy of the Bronte book. I found a clean print for eight bucks and hit the register. Two cute college girls, both new at their jobs and teaming up at the register, fawned over me for buying “Jane Eyre.” I swear, single men, if you want to strike up conversations with smart girls, carry a copy of “Jane Eyre” with you. It’s like magic. Anyway, the coupon wasn’t valid until tomorrow, but whatever, I bought the book. When I arrived home N and I chatted for a while (he recommends Chinese food for Thanksgiving), I read the first couple pages of the book, and I fell asleep.

We had T and S’s parent/teacher conferences this week, by the way. They were interesting. I never thought I’d have to advocate for talented and gifted services, but I guess I have to do so. S is off the charts, and T seems pretty high as well. T’s teacher can handle everything pretty well, but S’s is brand new. She’s still figuring out the landscape. More on that as everything develops.

I’m really looking forward to the next couple of days. I need a break. More later.

I’m in the rocking chair, in the corner of the dining room, writing while M and the boys watch “Ratatouille”. Everybody’s pretty tired. M says she was up all night because T slept in our bed and kicked her a lot. I was up by 2:30AM, not sure why, I thought I’d sleep later because I hadn’t slept well the night before. I felt pretty rested, though, at 2:30. I was surprised to find the hour so early. I watched some tv, checked email, etc., before eating breakfast and getting ready to leave for work. Everyone was up a little after five. You can see why I rented a movie today. Hopefully everyone will be asleep soon.

I was busy today. I drove to work before dawn, radio off (I turned on NPR, but they were talking about Palestine again, so I turned it off…why does NPR talk about Palestine so much?), and watered the plants, wrote up an alumni survey, and posted the update by 7:30. The dean and I chatted for a bit, I hung some student work in the hallways, and I set up my computer for a Skype chat with L. The chat went pretty well, but the wireless is a bit shaky inside my office, so the chat wasn’t perfect. Anyway, we set up a pretty good powerpoint/plan for Friday’s digital portfolio conversation. I walked to Blockbuster (movies) and Jimmy John’s (lunch) a little past ten. The wind was blowing pretty hard but the walk did me well. I haven’t worked out enough lately, and I eat everything in site when I’m tired. After lunch P and I talked about movies, downloading, and football. I let me 11:00AM freshmen work on their papers. Man, they’re starting to look tired. After that I met with a student, nothing serious, taught the 1PM class (even more tired than the first class), and caught up with F after she threatened to quit because everyone was bugging her about crap out of her control. I offered to pick up dinner, but M already had made lasagna, but I still get credit for asking. Unfortunately she used wheat noodles, rendering the lasagna chewy and pretty much inedible, so I bagged dinner. I’m ready to sleep.

Quick note…I’ve started the oral history of The Replacements book that just came out this month. So far, so good, except for the fanboy start. The format is almost identical to the “Please Kill Me” oral history of punk.

http://www.amazon.com/Replacements-Over-Shouting-Oral-History/dp/076033062X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195084835&sr=8-1

Late, almost 10:30PM, I should go to sleep soon. I might sleep on the couch because I know the kids will wake me before seven. I need to hit work by eight. I’m driving some students to a clinical site in the University van. Rock and roll.

Today was almost a painfully good day. I guess the day didn’t start particularly well. T woke me at about 6:30, wanting to play Wii, and I rose a bit later. Still, I slept for a solid ten hours (thanks, melatonin!) and felt rested, even if the hour was too late for a pre-work run. I arrived at the office by 8 or so, cleaned off my email, sent out a bunch of mail, arranged a Franciscan reading group, and planned for the rest of the week. At eleven my freshmen presented some posters/papers/powerpoints they created on historical leaders. Man, the freshmen did a great job. It was one of the moments when I felt like I actually knew what I was doing, as a teacher, and I haven’t had many of those this semester. I mean, my teaching has been fine, I guess, but I’ve been largely out of the classroom the last few years, and I’m teaching way too many credit hours for solid prep, so I’ve felt slightly off my game. My game is returning, I’m happy to say. At lunch I ran U errands, picking up the van keys and dropping off some steno, before teaching my early afternoon class. They were slightly more tired, but I expect that after lunch, so I couldn’t complain. I worked in the office for an hour or so and left by 4:00PM. On the way home I picked up a couple more houseplants. The cooler weather always motivates my desire for extra house/work greenery. When I arrived home T had a friend over. We played football for a while in the yard before jogging downtown and back. I suck at after-work running, but the air was perfect, the sky grey, and I got in a good rhythm. When I returned I caught a quick shower and ate dinner. M and I have been into quality olive oil and wheat bread since I returned from Italy. Heaven. The boys went off for their second “quiet time” night, which was somewhat of a disaster, but as we’re working the concept slowly into the family, I can expect some confusion. After quiet time T, S and I chatted on the couch while M and N read upstairs. We joined them a while later, when N asked me to talk him to sleep. I have a great time with him right before bed. We chat in the dark until he tells me to be quiet because he’s tired. Then I ask him more questions. It’s fun. After the boys were asleep M and I watched “Chuck”. I read “Nova Swing” after she went upstairs. Here I am. Great day. I almost can’t handle days like today. I want them to last forever. Good night.

A little after eight, gratefully tired, but I still might take some melatonin before bed. This morning I woke late to a crash in the living room. Apparently M fell off the couch, scattering milk and cereal everywhere. I miss all the good times. Anyway, I was up late last night, from midnight until about two, because my sinuses again went slightly berserk. Plus, I had a weird, violent dream involving students shooting up my old neighborhood. Interesting. The morning was tough. I didn’t get a chance to run and the kids were mega-needy. M said her car was making strange noises on the way to church, so she turned back (I was taking my car), but I didn’t hear anything. Church sucked. We were late, so I kept the boys downstairs, but their classes didn’t come down until thirty minutes after the service started. Oh, one good event…I stood outside and watched the boys play together on the church playground. They stood on a tire swing and teamed up to swing it in circles. I have fun watching them work together. We decided to leave after 11. M was upstairs with one of her friends, one of our neighbors who wanted to check out the church for herself. S’s new Sunday teacher is cute, by the way, and I recommended she get moved to the teenagers’ classroom so attendance improves. The boys and I watched some football until M arrived home. I ate lunch (provolone/spinach sandwich) and walked Shadow through downtown and back. We were planning on checking out “The Bee Movie” (not my choice), but S didn’t want to go, so he and I stayed back while M took T and N to the film. S and I had fun. We were going to play baseball, but he couldn’t find his glove, so we hit the coffee shop instead. We took books with us, but S wanted to sit at the window counter, so we talked and watched gulls circle the harbor. I love our coffee shop. I hope they’re making enough money to survive. Five different tables were taken today, a good sign, but at least two people are always working, and when I run the math on how to pay them, etc., I hope people are buying a lot of coffee. I’d hate to see the coffee shop close. After the coffee shop S and I returned home. He played on the computer while I turned on Stars of the Lid and answered work emails. Man, I love Stars of the Lid. “The Tired Sounds of Stars of the Lid” is one of my favorite albums. I kind of wish the movie had lasted six hours, keeping the house quiet, but M, T, and N played on the front porch after they returned, so the house never went quite loud. I went on a mad cleaning binge before dinner. I also imposed a thirty minute “quiet time” session after dinner in which the boys could do whatever they wanted as long as they did it quietly upstairs. T drew in the Wii room while S and N played with their action figures. Not bad. Later I read some Harry Potter to the two older boys and a couple books with N. Like I said, melatonin tonight. I want to get up early and run before work. Good night.

Ok, I have some time, early in the evening, in the November stretch when the sun falls before 5PM and I’m bouncing off the walls with nothing to do. In turn, I thought I’d move away from the journal for a bit and knock out a ten bullet post. Here we go:

I’m reading M. John Harrison’s “Nova Swing.” I like the book. I’d hate to see him pigeonholed as a science fiction writer (reminds me of Gaiman in that way). This book is larger, more thematically interesting, than you would expect from traditional science fiction. The whole “event site” concept is working for me.

Vic Chesnutt is a genius. I listen to “The Salesmen and Bernadette” a lot at home, and I would argue that “About to Choke” is probably an even better record.

Guilty pleasure: Vanessa Carlton’s “Heroes and Thieves."

Last week I watched part of “An Evening With Kevin Smith.” Did I mention that already? Anyway, Mr. Smith is good in the open stage format, most of the time, but the college students on the Q and As are embarrassing. I snagged “Clerks” from the library. Maybe I’ll watch it later. I also have “The Squid and the Whale”.

“30 Rock” is my favorite television show. The party scenes in this week’s episode were priceless.

I’ve written decent drafts of four or five poems. Maybe I’ll post one next week.

I was probably too hard on T today about some brother conflicts. Sometimes I hear my dad’s voice in mine. I suppose that’s inevitable. I’m a lot different than him, I know.

November is usually a very difficult month. I can’t complain this year. Everything’s fine. I haven’t had that “just get me through the day so I can go to sleep” feeling I know so well.

Church has bored me lately. I don’t want to ditch the congregation, but I’m not getting much out of attendance. Something is in the air in the sanctuary, some controversy. I can smell it.

I’ve hung out at home a lot on weekends due to gas prices, environmentalism, and anti-workaholic sentiment. Still, I wouldn’t mind the office tonight. Quiet and dark.

My mother just left, and I feel like committing either suicide or homicide. Take your pick.

A sample afternoon exchange:

Mom: I got botox this week, and I didn’t get it to get rid of wrinkles.
RA: I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know.
Mom: Someday you’re going to have medical procedures, too.

I feel like burning down the house to get rid of the stink and gross feeling of my mom’s presence. A shower won’t do it. That woman drives me fucking insane. Anyway, I’m working doubly-hard to make sure I don’t let her presence in my life, as small as it is, infect my existence, but it’s hard. Deep breaths…meditation…etc. Anyway, if I ever needed reminding as to why I cut them off, days like today serve their purpose. What a sullen, useless existence they lead.

Ok, enough on that. I may go see “Control” this afternoon. The movie is only showing at one small theater in Milwaukee, but I really want to see the movie after reading the review, including James’ review over at Asshole of the Century. Check it out:

http://aholeofthecentury.blogspot.com/2007/10/control.html

M, I think, knows I need to get out of the house, and I hardly leave, anyway, so she’s cool with it. Sometimes I think she’s trying to make sure I don’t just hang around my immediate family all the time. Compared to most dads, it seems, I’m around a lot. This is esp. true, I think, during hunting season in Wisconsin. If I wanted to get out of the house more I would pretend I was a hunter (er, a stretch, one must admit, for a vegetarian) so I could ditch four days a week from Labor Day to Christmas. When do those fuckers work? Anyway, I might check out “Control” today. If not, I’ll get out of the house in some way, shape or form. Maybe I’ll hit the coffee shop with “Nova Swing.”

This week was fine, but I’m ready for Thanksgiving and the end of the semester. I stayed home from work Thursday morning due to a Wednesday night sinus insomnia bout. I wrote an article about leading through crisis while I was up, at least. The dean scheduled a DVD taping session (some commercial/promotional thing) for 2PM, and I felt badly for missing the gig, so I drove into work for thirty minutes of lights in my face and lapel microphones. Yesterday I hit a couple of meetings, worked in the office, and arrived home pretty early. M and I watched the Thursday night shows (Office, Scrubs, 30 Rock…30 Rock was the best by far) and I fell asleep early. This morning I skipped running (probably a mistake). N and I set up some new houseplants. I’m tempted to take the larger greenhouse from the basement and put it in the dining room. Hm. I could really use another smaller one. Still, I’m feeling good about how little money I’ve spent lately, so I’ll keep that roll going until Christmas. More soon.

This has been a long week, and the week, well, it’s only Thursday. I’m not sure why I’ve felt so tired lately. Maybe the time change, along with the cooler weather, is contributing. I don’t know. The last few days have been productive. I’ve winged my classes, for lack of a better term, but they’ve turned out ok. I feel like I’m re-learning how to teach this semester after a couple years when I wasn’t in the classroom all that much. I’ve also stayed later (for me, anyway) at the office, until 4:30 or 5, catching up on the last of paperwork before I disappear. Tonight I read with N, too, before bed. He and I have hung out more lately. We’ve had fun. Later M and I watched “The Bionic Woman”, and I let myself fade into that sort of thing for a while.

I’m feeling comfortable with myself as of late. A colleague, an insecure woman, was trying to give me static today, and I let it roll of my back. I think teaching the freshman leadership course causes me to reflect upon my own leadership in the light of what I’m teaching. In turn, I could kind of step back and say “who gives a shit what that bitch says?” and mean what I say. She’s got her own issues. I’m doing good work. I’m having fun. Nothing to fear.

On Sunday I collected my poem notes into four or five pages or drafts. I’m tempted to sit in on a couple of poetry readings, to see if there’s a place where I could read, but surprisingly few opportunities of that nature exist in the Milwaukee area. I’ll keep my eyes open. Good night.

Whoo, I’m tired out of nowhere. The sun has already fallen, the trees menace against the last of the light, and daylight savings time has officially fallen back. We’re just past five and the night has arrived. Does this mean dawn arrives early tomorrow?

Today has been fine. This morning Shadow and I walked through the wet autumn woods, then back through town, before church. We saw at least four or five dogs out on leashes, near their houses, where apparently their owners left them and slept late. Interesting. We also watched the city workers set up the downtown streets for sewer work. On a Sunday? I was surprised. I cleaned a bit before T, S, and I left early for church so we could hit the greenhouse for plants. The boys were good, running through the aisles, checking out the Christmas displays, before we picked out three plants (one for N, too) and snagged a huge bag of soil. Reminder…I MUST water plants tomorrow at work. Anyway, N was sitting under a table, waiting his brothers, in the church basement while M busied herself with “first Sunday lunch” preparations. I could sense a difficult hour brewing, and I was not wrong. N did not want to go upstairs for the first half hour of kid-school (away from his regular class, when the RE director brings all the little kids together and more or less talks at them for thirty minutes), so he, S and I sat in one of the classrooms and chatted with Doug about his goats and chickens. Afterwards I caught a couple minutes of the service. I don’t know. Something seems wrong at church lately. I can’t quite nail the specifics. People look tense. N was upset with his teacher (something about his inability to draw a proper star), so he and I left just as his class ended while M, T, and S stayed for lunch. N asked to watch television, a sure sign he’s not feeling well, so I plopped him in front of Spongebob and made our lunches. Later I watched most of the Pack game and made chocolate chip cookies (first batch great, second batch slightly burned). S and I hit the coffee shop where cute emo teenagers fawned over his long hair and I read “Nova Swing”. I thought about hitting work tonight, but I doubt I will. I just transcribed some poem drafts into the computer, and maybe I’ll stay up and grade some papers, but I also want to get up really early and hit work by six. Good night.

Here are those for Italy pics I promised...these hang right above my house's entry way now...the first is over LaVerna, a Franciscan retreat up in Tuscany, the second of Assisi's piazza (sp?), the third of Assisi from just outside the city, and the fourth is of the Colisseum. More when I do the whole Italian trip in blog-form.

Five children, ages four through nine, are spazzing out in my house at the moment. My two oldest sons reciprocated sleepover invitations last night, so we added two kids to the usual Friday night mix. The event went pretty well. Videogames, sports cards, and dart guns go a long way towards entertaining these guys. They also caught part of the Bucks game, but no one seemed to want to hang out and watch television with so much stimuli available, so M and I watched “The Office” while the kids owned the second floor. I thought about driving into work (forgot to water the plants, dammit), but I decided against the ride and hung out at home instead. I read the first thirty pages of Harrison’s “Nova Swing” (excellent so far), slept a little, then snagged a blanket and my mp3 player and hit the corner rocking chair. I listened to some Vic Chesnutt and Stars of the Lid while looking through some poetry books. I like Kooser’s poetry repair manual. I like the fact that he makes it clear right off the bat that you’re not going to make any money from poetry, that you’re not going to get famous, and that critics’ perceptions don’t matter much. I work with English professors, thank you, and I can support that assertion. In turn, I felt validated in my desire to work through poetry on a different level than twenty years ago. My vision, if you will, would including writing thirty to fifty solid poems or so by next spring or summer, print up maybe 100 copies into a small book, and send them out to my friends, free or charge. That’s it. Life is short. I don’t care about getting published. Anyway, I took a slew of notes that could turn out into poems later then fell asleep on the couch without drinking. Not a bad night. I’m really fascinated by the question, “What do I want to say?” before I sit down and work through poetry. I used to sort of wait for the words to pour out. I like the idea of controlling the flow, of tailoring it towards what I want to get across.

Anyway, I also framed four Italy photos (LaVerna, the Assisi piazza, a shot of Assisi from the edge of town, and the Colosseum). I'd post a couple pics here, but blogger's running slow. I'll add them in a couple hours. I also framed a huge new Redon poster I snagged from the MOMA site for two bucks, plus four bucks postage! Can't lose. I rearranged some posters on the dining room wall, and I think they look pretty good.

Shadow and I walked through downtown this morning. I’ll write more later, when the space is quiet.