Happy leap year day. I’m in the office, at the desk, checking email and updating the journal after a couple hours finishing “The Abstinence Teacher.” I thought the book was pretty good, not as strong as the author’s “Little Children” but leaps and bounds ahead of “Joe College.” My mind is a bit fried after the marathon literature session. I suppose I could go turn on “Blade Runner” or another episode of “House.” I don’t know. I feel all out of whack today. Maybe my stairs wipeout contributed to a full-body realignment that hasn’t worked to my advantage.

This morning I cleaned the first floor while listening to “Brighter Than Creation’s Dark” after the boys hit school and M helped out in one of their classrooms. I wasn’t in the mood to grade papers or answer email. Instead I loaded the dishwasher, cleaned up newspapers, and otherwise rendered the first floor presentable. After a quick shower I speed-watched the rest of “3:10 to Yuma” since the movie was due back at the video store this afternoon. I like the movie quite a bit. Russell Crowe usually leaves ambivalence in my mouth but I thought he was excellent. Christian Bale has yet to fail me. After the movie I picked up the Friday papers (WSJ and NYT, a Friday ritual) and hauled ass to work. My noon meeting (faculty council) ended before one, leaving me enough time to answer a few emails and water the plants before my 2:00PM faculty senate meeting. Louie and I sat way in the corner, where the blinds block the sun, and we probably looked more than a little anti-social. We had fun, though, and I enjoyed the company. At one point I had to speak about rank and tenure and I stumbled over my words in ways I haven’t in years. I’m usually a decent public speaker but my tongue felt weird and I couldn’t organize my thoughts. I felt slightly out of my body. This phenomenon bothered me through the rest of the meeting. I tried to crack a couple jokes at my table but they weren’t working. Oh well. Weird. The meeting ended in a ragged manner, with groups turning in their feedback and wandering off, and I returned to my office a little after 4PM. Normally I leave immediately after Friday senate. Today, however, I stayed at work for about ninety minutes. I cleaned my office, addressed more emails, and organized some files. A perusal of a syllabus reminded me that an observation is approaching, so I sent out a couple emails to confirm dates and scenarios. Once my office was clean and my files in order I drove home. I listened to NPR on the way home, as usual (interesting story on some bluegrass symphony), and arrived at the garage a little after six. N asked me to wear my cowboy hat to work so I pulled it off the car’s floor and wore it in the house. He and his brothers were finishing baths. I ate a quick dinner (squash ravioli) and settled in the spare bedroom with T. He was tired, home sick part of the day, and fell asleep quickly. S and I read in the other room until eight, when he went to sleep. I continued reading until close to nine. Here I am.

February is over. Goodbye, you horrible month. Thank you for leaving. Good night.

Tired after a long day grading papers. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, grading papers can wear you out.

This week has been busy but productive. I feel like winter is wearing me down some. I guess that’s expected. I’ll be ok. T and N are watching television, M is mad at over some keyboard issue, and S is upstairs on Wii. Maybe I’ll read a little “Abstinence Teacher” before she leaves for a meeting.

Hm…what else…

“Blade Runner: The Final Cut” arrived today. I also have “3:10 to Yuma” for another day, but the first thirty minutes seemed “eh” to me. Maybe I’m getting film-jaded.

I’ve been listening to “She and Him”, the M. Ward/Zooey Deschanel project, a lot. The disc is clear and simple…I like it.

DBT play tomorrow night in Milwaukee. I doubt I’ll go. Dan isn’t driving up and I don’t feel like going by myself. I can’t remember a spring with more interesting concerts. DBT, Vic Chesnutt, SOTL, The Hold Steady, and Eels, all within a few months.

Ok, that’s it for now. Oh, I’ve worked out the last three days, getting back into the groove with season three of “The Office.” Brilliant show. Good night.

Quick Sunday edit…Shadow and I went for a walk today. About two blocks from my house I wiped out on the ice and totally fucked up my elbow. So much for spring. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching “House”, some of “3:10 to Yuma”, grading papers, and taking a bath with “Beautiful Miscellaneous.” The boys are watching a movie now, well, T and N are watching a movie. M and S are playing “life” in the dining room. I took some melatonin and I’m ready to sleep.

Off to read…more later.

Sunday morning, the sun bright enough that I thought the light in the office was on when I sat in the dining room rocking chair. The boys are upstairs on Wii. Maura is about to get into the shower. Church today is going to suck, as the kids are upstairs for the first part of the service, so I’m torn as to whether or not I should attend.

This week was busy but productive. Friday was a particular highlight. The undergraduate revision team met for the first time. I thought the meeting went quite well. I haven’t been nervous about facilitating a meeting in a long time, but I knew this meeting could have gone either direction, so I was relieved the meeting seemed strong. I was in some meeting or the other from 9AM to 3:30PM, so that was a long ass day, but I survived. Friday night I planned on getting drunk but fell asleep early. Yesterday I stayed home most of the day, except for brief library and Target forays, but otherwise didn’t do much besides couch-surf and putter from room to room. I guess I worked out as well. Ok, you know, this is a good time for a ten bullet post. Here we go:

Speaking of working out, this week I fell off the wagon, so to speak, as I was so busy, and I only worked out three days. I’ll get back in the habit this week. That illness a couple weeks back really kicked my ass, and I’m still trying to reestablish some decent mid-winter habits.

The same holds true for reading. I’ve skipped around some lately from Miranda July to Jonathan Swift, but I think I’m going to stick with “Beautiful Miscellaneous” for now.

The long, draining winter is fading. The sun is gaining power. People said “enjoy this weather” this weekend, and we’re only just rising above the point of freezing. Once the snow starts melting we’re in for a mess, but I’ll take the mess over more winter, thank you very much. The boys especially need to spend some time outside. They’re bouncing off the walls. I can’t wait to set up the gazebo and sit on the deck.

Movies…I watched “American Gangster” a couple nights back. I liked the film quite a bit, until the ending, which I felt was a bit trite. Last night M watched “Once.” I caught bits and pieces of the film and, although I thought the girl was perhaps the absolute ideal indie girl, I didn’t think much of the movie. And what the hell is it with the main male character always wearing that dumbass scarf? What was wrong with his neck?

S got a haircut yesterday. I’m still not used to it. He looked cool with the long hair.

Ok, I’m going to step at five bullets because M’s spazzing out upstairs because she lost track of time and now has to rush to church. More later.

I’ve been awake since 1:00AM. I suppose I could go upstairs and try to get a little more sleep before a long day. I haven’t had much serious insomnia for a while but yesterday I was out of sorts and I’m not surprised I couldn’t sleep well. I’ve probably slept too much, honestly, over the last week, so I’m not surprised and I suppose I’ll do ok.

Yesterday I worked from home. This required me to respond to about a million stupid emails. My job is weird. I also wrote half an article, pushing through the jungle, so to speak, to get it done. Writing for academia is a pain in the ass. Anyway, after I dropped the boys off at school I hit the coffee shop. I swear the little emo girl put drano in my tea. I’ve never tasted tea so bad. What did I ever do to her? I listened to SOTL and worked on my computer while hoping the moms with the little kids would leave. I also saw one of M’s friends. She looked like shit, her eyes were glazed over and she hardly said a word to me. I asked M about her later and M said she thought she had seasonal depression disorder. If she does I can understand her predicament. This has been the worst winter ever in memory. The sun is hardly ever out, and even when the light emerges, the temps are too low to warrant leaving the house. In fact, I think this week is supposed to be cold again. What the fuck? As I’ve said before after Valentine’s Day winter is supposed to disappear slowly. Not this year, I guess. Al Gore, sir, you were wrong. Global warming has not taken away our winter.

So I’ll probably do about ten hours at work today, maybe a little more. I’ll survive. Good night. Or good morning.

Sunday afternoon, nearing two, I wonder if I should go out somewhere. I’m not sure where I would go or if the roads are safe. Freezing rain has replaced the falling snow. Frankly, the roads scare me more today than during a blizzard. The boys have friends over, except for N, who is playing on the computer with M. I feel badly when he’s left out by his older brothers. I know the feeling.

Yesterday I did next to nothing. Oh, well, T and I did attend his basketball game in the morning. I sat on the side, chatted with friends, and finished the first section of “Gulliver’s Travels.” A guy I know from adult hoops was there, so I sat near him, but I kind of wish I hadn’t because we didn’t have much to say to each other. T had a good game. He stole a pass and scored on a fast break. Rock and roll. After the game he and I visited the library. I picked up a couple books on reserve, including Perrotta’s “Joe College.” I read the first 100 pages or so and I can’t say I’m particularly impressed. I liked “Little Children” more.

Anyway, M and I watched some “House” episodes, I took a shower, talked with Rick, who was back in the neighborhood for Bella’s birthday, and otherwise wasted time. I didn’t clean, do laundry, or work out. My sinus thing keeps bothering me, although it’s better today. This morning I cleaned most of the first floor, started laundry, and managed 23 minutes on the elliptical while watching Samantha Brown’s Crete episode. I promised I’d make dinner (lasagna rolls) later. I’m so burned out on books and television that I’m not sure what to do with myself. Poetry? Maybe I’ll plan the Indianapolis trip. Ooh, maybe we’ll go to Iowa instead. I don’t know. More later.

Ok, that illness really kicked my ass off the journal. After a few months of daily writing I’ve hardly written in February. I’m still nursing some sinus problems, and I’m worried I have a sinus infection, but I’m ok to write. Cleo is harassing me to pick her up, but she spent an hour on my lap earlier, so she’ll be ok on her own while I write.

Now, I’ve been anywhere from slightly to seriously ill for the last nine days. Illnesses suck. At least this wasn’t a rough work week. I stayed home (sorry, “worked at home”) Wednesday and read (“Gulliver’s Travels”) in-between email correspondence. I also cleaned, hanged some pictures, and finished organizing my things post-Orlando. Thursday morning I arrived at work by seven, knocked out a shitload of paperwork, taught assessment, did the lunch thing with Paul, took in a couple of meetings, and went home. Oh, Thursday was Valentine’s Day. I got M chocolate and yahtzee. We fought last night, however, because she yelled at me when I told her she had already put enough eyedrops into N’s eyes and should let him sleep. Man, we don’t fight much, but if you’re going to treat me like a doddering dad who doesn’t know what he’s doing you’re asking for trouble. I spend more time with my kids in one night than most dads do in a week.

Today was busy but decent. This morning I slept a little later, worked out (back in that habit, anyway, third day in a row), hit Costco, and met a former student for tea at the Grafton Alterra’s. We talked for a solid hour. Afterwards I hit Borders but decided against buying anything. I should have hit the library but I had forgotten my card in the pre-trip wallet purge. I’ve got a couple books there, but I’m enjoying the Swift as well. Mr. Swift wrote damn good sentences. I also thought about buying “30 Rock” on DVD but Borders didn’t have the set in stock. Later I hit work, finished my load sheets and hung out in my office until about four. I hit Target (video game, baseball cards) and Pick and Save (Sun Chips along with a few other things) before going home. Since then I watched another episode of “House” (a recent obsession) and otherwise took it easy. I’m still not at full-strength.

Ok, more later. I’m feeling better about writing. Good night.

About half-past seven, I’m on the living room couch, another cold night but not the coldest of the winter. S is reading a Star Wars book and asking NFL questions (e.g. “Who do you hate more, the Chargers or the Cardinals?”). Cleo is next to me, although she’d probably rather be on my lap. Maybe I should move. I need to write.

Today was tiring but gratifying. I reached work before seven and watered the plants and knocked out my emails before eight. I spent most of the morning preparing for tomorrow’s classes and catching up on odds and ends piling up during the trip. I had to tell the Habitat leader I couldn’t accompany the students on the OK City trip. That was hard. Louie and I did lunch in his office. Another student wanted to talk about a scholarship at 12:45. After that a few students passed through my office, etc. but I felt as if most of the afternoon was productive. I was surprised I wasn’t that busy. Maybe I’m getting the hang of the job. I only needed close to seven years.

I dropped close to a hundred bucks at Costco on the way home. Later M dropped off the van for repairs while I watched the boys and one of the neighbors. I’m tired, more tired than I should be, and I may take some melatonin before I try to sleep. Maybe some Nyquil. Not both, though. Both would be a bad idea.

I’m nearing the end of “Norwegian Wood.” I’m liking the book a lot. I’m curious as to why the novel caused such a stir in Japan. Japanese culture fascinates me. I need to start a separate book file to keep track of what I’m reading. Maybe I’ll do that now. Good night.

I’m on the living room couch, Sunday afternoon, winter light streaming through the windows. The light, screened through gauzy white curtains, shines onto the healthy terrarium plants. Cleo is sleeping on a pillow next to the radiator. Mars is asleep on the arm of the couch. Shadow is next me. Maybe I’ll take a picture. T is on the computer playing a game based on the civil war. S is upstairs on Wii Madden. M and N are at the doctor’s. I’m listening to David Sylvian’s “Secrets of the Beehive.” I haven’t listened to this album in twenty years but some of it holds up well.

So I’ve been sick since my second day in Orlando. God knows how I traveled home. I guess the Dayquil helped. However, I was on the phone with a student on the way home from the airport and I startled myself with the realization that I was nearing home when I thought I was still near downtown Milwaukee. After I arrived home I distributed the candy presents, hung out for a while, and fell asleep. Yesterday I was still useless. What did I do? I slept during the day, off and on, read Murakami, cleaned the house, and sat on the couch. This morning I felt a bit better. The temps are well below zero but I needed to get out of the house. T and I drove to Target. He picked out another cheap computer game and I snagged Yatzee and some chocolate for M’s Valentine’s Day present. When we drove near the lake a strong wind blew the powder across the road; although we could hardly see I liked the effect. Later I started the week’s laundry, answered a few email, and turned on Eno’s “Music for Airports”, followed by the Sylvian and now Air’s “Pocket Symphony.” I don’t want to turn on the television. I’ve had enough brash noise for a while. Tomorrow I’d like to hit work with some energy. I’m tired, now, just writing in my journal. More later. Good night.

I’m in the Orlando airport. My flight doesn’t leave for seventy minutes. Better to arrive early, I guess, then rush at the end.

This trip was decent and definitely out of the ordinary. Allow me to start on Tuesday. The flight(s) were unremarkable. I read “Bluebeard” and listened to Stars of the Lid. After I collected my luggage in Orlando I caught a cab to the hotel. My cab drive, Jose, was a decent guy, Columbian, who gave me his card so I could call him for the return trip (I didn’t). At the hotel registration desk the clerk told me the hotel had run out of standard rooms. He offered to put me up at a local hotel or put me in what he described as a small suite. I chose the latter. He said the suite had a fold out bed, but apparently the reservation system went haywire, because instead the system put me in the PRESIDENTIAL suite. I had a goddamn stairway in my suite, along with two televisions, a huge bathtub, and a bar. I checked the website and found out the room usually goes for $225 a night. Who pays that much for a hotel room? I guess I liked the bathtub jets and all that. The bed was great, too. I don’t know. I’m torn on luxury.

I didn’t sleep well Tuesday night. The suite air conditioning kept clicking on and off. Plus I drank a diet coke way too late. I woke, did the conference breakfast (not enough seats, bagels, yogurt, etc.) and wore the suit for my presentation. First, though, I took in a session with some chair from somewhere in Arkansas. She was good but way too positive, if you know what I mean. She might as well have been a cheerleader. My presentation went pretty well. About fifty people attended. The crowd sat and listened, something to which I’m not used, and I was thrown a bit by the lack of feedback on the attendees’ faces. Still, a few people approached me afterwards with positive comments. That helps.

After the session I worked out (stairmaster), ate lunch (Subway), and cruised the mall. Now, it’s been in a long time since I’ve been in a mall. I’m serious. Years. The air smells badly and I can’t believe there is so much SHIT people can buy. I walked back and forth but didn’t purchase anything. Later I started feeling a bit under the weather, so I watched tv in the suite and tried to sleep. Oh, I forgot to mention that epic snow hit Milwaukee. M and the boys were home, and all but S (who never gets sick) were feeling ill. I was feeling some of that, too, and fell asleep by 11 or so.

Thursday was tough. After a huge breakfast (all you can eat, have to get your money’s worth) I took in a couple sessions but hardly comprehended what I heard. The flu kicked me ass. I didn’t have the energy to walk the mall but needed medicine. M recommended Dayquil and Nyquil. As stupid as it sounds I never think of taking medicine when I’m sick with the exception of Alleve for headaches. I snagged the medicine, took some, and settled in on the couch. I couldn’t focus on text, the worst part of illness ever, so I screwed around on the computer and watched television. I gave up on health, ate pizza and picked up an expensive O’Henry candy bar at Dylan’s in the mall. I tried to sit out by the pool but the speakers were playing shitty music and I couldn’t sleep. Later I snagged a California’s Pizza Kitchen salad. After talking with M I took the Nyquil, read (I was feeling a bit better), and fell asleep by 9.

I need to mention the Jacuzzi, by the way. Now, it’s not that I didn’t like the Jacuzzi, but I could have lived without it. I don’t know. I liked the size of the bathtub. The jets I could do without. Plus, the jets make the bubble bath go everywhere. Do I sound feminine at the moment? I will stop now.

This morning I felt better. I slept about ten hours. After the conference breakfast I took in another session and packed up for the return trip. I picked up a few things for the kids at Dylan’s Candy Bar and grabbed a minivan cab with a guy from Texas. More later. Some crazy white trash family sat near me and I can’t stand it.

The Super Bowl starts in about thirty minutes so I thought I’d write now. Last night I finished “Little Children.” Great book, good movie as well. This morning T and I hit work and walked through campus. He’s really into attending college where I teach. Ha. We’ll see if he feels the same in a couple years, but at least 1) he’s into the idea of going to college, and 2) he still likes hanging out.

We met M and the other boys at church afterwards. The service may as well been titled “Please Give Us More Money” so I skipped out. M was teaching sex ed in one of the classrooms. She does a good job with the little ones. I can see why she’d want to get back in the classroom next year. When I returned home I worked out, ate lunch (two vegetarian burgers, more than I’ve eaten in one setting in a while), and settled in with some Celine. I’m not sure if I’ll abort the novel or not. Maybe I’ll move to the last Murakami novels. I don’t know.

I want to talk about reading a bit. In the last two or three months I’ve probably read at least an hour or two a day. I swear, I’m just inhaling text. I’m not sure why, but I’m digging it.

Man, I’m tired. I’ve been pushing myself physically and mentally over the last few months. Big meeting with the dean tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous. More later. In forty-eight hours or so I’ll arrive in Orlando.

Late Saturday afternoon, dull and cloudy, too much work drama. I won’t go into details, as this is an open site, but the work drama demoralized me. Sometimes I think I need to take the leap and go somewhere else. We’ll see. Every year I seem to want to quit my job at some point or the other. Maybe I should take the leap.

In the meantime winter trudges on, still strong but the first flashes of fade are showing. How do you know winter is nearing its end? Well, February first, for example, is a good sign. I always perceive winter as November, December, January, and February, when the sun rarely shines and the weather sucks. I suppose you could add March to the mix but by the time March rolls around cold days are easier to take because you know they’re among the season’s last. So, in my mind, this bitch of a winter is 75% over. I don’t think we’ve seen the sun since the middle of the week. I hope some light breaks through tomorrow. Bright winter days used to bother me but I’ve come to appreciate their power.

This morning I interviewed high school students interested in earning merit scholarships applicable to our university. I had fun. The high school kids seemed so nervous. You have to feel for them. They’re about 10,000 times smarter than I was at that age, too. Good kids. Afterwards I drove home and hung out with the boys while M napped. After she woke M took the boys outside to play in the snow. I ate a late lunch/early dinner and checked email. Oh, I also sent F a long email with some work ideas. Tonight I’ll immerse myself in “Little Children” and try to get my mind off of the office.

I’ve added weights to my workout. Not a day of the last eight has passed without a workout. I feel better. Plus, I’m eating healthier. Yay me.

N just put the back massager he got me for Christmas on my neck. Ah. Not bad. Good night.