Today is the last day of January, I think. I could be wrong. I won’t be sad to see this month pass. We finished the month with an epic battle of stomach flu. On Sunday N wouldn’t stop throwing up, so M took him to the emergency room. The “ER call” is always a tough one. You never know if you’re worrying too much, if the illness isn’t a big deal, or if you should toss the kid in the car and drive. M had talked with nurses beforehand, N was listless, and M pulled the trigger. She made the right choice. Apparently N’s bicarbonates were out of whack. I have no idea what that means, but apparently Gatorade doesn’t help. The doctors ran an IV through him. He arrived home by 9:00PM or so. I slept on the futon next to T’s bed. At 12:22AM (I remember the exact time because I turned to look at the clock as I woke) T threw up all over his bed. I moved him onto the futon, made sure he was ok, and moved downstairs. By this time I could feel the flu settling into my stomach as well. I will spare you the gory details. I will only say I lost five pounds in three days. After sending some emails, preparing for missing Monday at work, I tried to get some sleep. M later informed he threw up late at night as well. S is somehow impervious to illness. He’s unbreakable. I can’t explain it. M was feeling better at that point, so she left for a student teaching thing while S, N and I watched television. I truly felt like shit. I could hardly rise from the couch. You know the feeling, when you have to say to yourself, “I will now get up and turn off that light” over and over again to generate the energy to complete the act? That kind of sick. After M arrived home, after lunch, I slept through most of the afternoon. By last night I didn’t feel much better, but I tried some yogurt and a bagel. I didn’t barf it up. Good sign. T and I slept next to each other in the big bed while M slept with S and N. T’s such an amazing boy. He truly does everything he can to do the right thing. I love him so much.
Today was a bit better. I woke at four and answered fifty emails by 6:00AM. You know, I don’t know if this whole going to the office thing is necessary. I work just as hard on my sick days as otherwise. I thought about going to the office, but every time I stood my stomach protested. Also, I found out two other people from work were sick today, and I didn’t want to spread my illness all over the floor (literally or figuratively). I took in a couple phone conferences, corresponded on the computer on and off, and took a bath. Baths rock when you’re sick. Tonight I’m not completely tired, but I’m fatigued enough to hope I sleep well. Tomorrow I want to work on the dissertation at the coffee shop. I’m making slow progress.
I need to back up a little and talk about calling in sick. I don’t deal well with illness, and I deal even worse with skipping work. Yesterday was truly awful. The sun never emerged, and I thought, while half-asleep, about all the people who don’t have insurance or sick days or whatever. This world could be a great place, but it isn’t. You know, I’ve been looking for that sentence all day, probably for longer, and there it is, as simple as can be. Mary keeps telling me I’m in the midst of a hero quest, a change, an evolution, and maybe that’s part of it. What’s my role in that? Why isn’t the world a great place? Teach me how not to want. Teach me to transcend worrying about making sure the boys get enough Christmas presents. Teach me to live on what we have. Suddenly I feel better even writing that sentence. This world could be a great place, but it isn’t. More later. Good night. Cold as hell out there.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
T and S are watching X games, early, so I thought I’d write up a quick dream post. I have a recurring dream in which I return to Berlin (I visited about twenty years ago), but the city is a dream city, not reflective of the real Berlin at all. I have a car some of the time, but more often than not I’m walking. I’ve forgotten to get directions, but I vaguely know the way. At one point I’m walking on curved, rising walkways, wide, like the paths to the upper decks of baseball stadiums, but of a brown stone and outdoors. I am more or less alone on the path. Water, only a few inches high, active and bubbling, begins to flow towards me. I realize water is also coming up from behind me, the same type, and I climb to a higher path along the side and watch the two streams meet. I enter a wide tunnel where a habit is set up for migrant seals, warning walkers away, but as this is not the time of year for migrant seals, I am ok. I run into a former student, who now has a baby, part of a group playing in the water. We chat…she’s happy to see me, but I’m in a bit of a hurry. I keep going and find myself in a car, vaguely worried about not knowing exactly where I’m going, when my cell phone rings. It’s a man called “Tibl”, and he and I agree to meet at a place called the “50 Acre Beach”, which a sign informs me is nearby. I get into a line to cross a lake to the 50 Acre Beach. A group of people are checking papers and passports before one is allowed to cross the bridge. Tibl, who seems somewhat sneaky and criminal, is trying to figure out a way to bluff his way across the bridge, but I have the right paperwork.
That’s it for now. More later.
That’s it for now. More later.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday night, the boys should be asleep upstairs in their room, or at least close to asleep, by now. M is off at a committee meeting. I could probably use a beer or two, some television or maybe just a book. Today was a good day. Well, I suppose today didn’t start off very well, because I slept through basketball, but the day improved from that point. I slept later, by the way, because T was sick last night, and I was up on and off making sure he was ok. Apparently he woke while I was sleeping, however, and watched television for a while on his own in the middle of the night. I was surprised to hear this, but he was able to describe the content of a few shows I recorded for him, so I believe he’s telling the truth. I guess you can’t quite prepare for the first night your son doesn’t need you to sit with him when you’re awake in the middle of the night. I remember not long ago he didn’t want to come downstairs on his own in the morning. Anyway, while T was sick yesterday, he was clearly better today. He wore one of my Brewers shirts all day, recovering, and he seems ready for school tomorrow.
Back to the day, I’m getting off-track. After breakfast, etc., I drove to a local coffee shop and started on the research. A student had recommended this coffee shop, but I hadn’t taken advantage of the space in the past. I think I went up the wrong stairway once and confused myself as to what was the appropriate work space. Well, today I found the right space, bright and airy, a reliable net connection, and decent tables. I could have done without the lame new age pop and the two women bitching about the local schools on the other side of the room, but those complaints are minor. I knocked out eight pages of painstaking analysis and synthesis over the course of six hours. Normally I write very quickly, but this was slow work, and I did stop for lunch and checked my email every now and then. By the time I arrived home, after a library stop, I was exhausted. T wanted to hang out, so we watched television together, played on the new computer, and ate dinner. T also snowboarded a bit in the backyard while I watched. I didn’t feel like I had to rag at him at all, though. Nice night. Later M left for her meeting, the boys and I read a few books, and, as I said, they’re near sleep, if not all the way to their destination by now.
Eight bullet points, here we go:
N’s learning, language, and behavior have improved tremendously lately. I have to keep in mind that the other boys (especially T) went through the same pattern when they were younger. I’m optimistic on his progress. The school wants to test S’s speech, which surprised me, as his reading is absolutely through the roof.
Tomorrow I’m going to see “Pan’s Labyrinth” with Mary. I never go out on week nights. Hell, I hardly ever go out on weekdays. I feel a bit weird about leaving my kids on a Thursday night, but I really want to see the movie and this time is as good as any.
James has been sending me emails from Hawaii. He gets back early next week.
Either I’m losing my mind or my work’s email service is fucked up. I’ve had two students tell me they hadn’t received emails I’ve sent, and I had a woman organizing a conference tell me she never received a proposal I thought I sent. Even stranger is the fact I can’t find the proposal in any of my documents. Bizarre. I know my memory is fading, but come on, creating a document and emailing it, all in my head?
I could use a beer tonight. I might try to work out in the morning, if I can get up that early.
I’ve been reading Dante’s Inferno. Great material, not nearly as intense on the reader as some of the other classics, but worthwhile in a way I have a hard time describing. I might put Dante down tonight, however, for a book on people who like to read.
We’re broke. We’ll get out of the hole eventually, but we’re trying to be careful about spending cash on things we don’t need. I think the post-Christmas spending inertia is more dangerous than the Christmas season.
I attended church on Sunday and liked the service. My mentee (I need to email him, by the way) and I attended together. I would have blown off the service had we not planned on attending the service together. Snow was falling pretty hard. Still, T, S, and I hit Best Buy before the service, threading over a slick, dangerous I43. The trip was not all that wise, but I promised the boys we would visit Best Buy, and I didn’t want to let them down.
The semester has started, and I feel like I can breathe a bit. I need to water tomorrow, though. I’ve been slipping. Maybe I need to rethink the “once a week” first floor watering policy. Maybe I need to water more. We’ll see. Good night.
Back to the day, I’m getting off-track. After breakfast, etc., I drove to a local coffee shop and started on the research. A student had recommended this coffee shop, but I hadn’t taken advantage of the space in the past. I think I went up the wrong stairway once and confused myself as to what was the appropriate work space. Well, today I found the right space, bright and airy, a reliable net connection, and decent tables. I could have done without the lame new age pop and the two women bitching about the local schools on the other side of the room, but those complaints are minor. I knocked out eight pages of painstaking analysis and synthesis over the course of six hours. Normally I write very quickly, but this was slow work, and I did stop for lunch and checked my email every now and then. By the time I arrived home, after a library stop, I was exhausted. T wanted to hang out, so we watched television together, played on the new computer, and ate dinner. T also snowboarded a bit in the backyard while I watched. I didn’t feel like I had to rag at him at all, though. Nice night. Later M left for her meeting, the boys and I read a few books, and, as I said, they’re near sleep, if not all the way to their destination by now.
Eight bullet points, here we go:
N’s learning, language, and behavior have improved tremendously lately. I have to keep in mind that the other boys (especially T) went through the same pattern when they were younger. I’m optimistic on his progress. The school wants to test S’s speech, which surprised me, as his reading is absolutely through the roof.
Tomorrow I’m going to see “Pan’s Labyrinth” with Mary. I never go out on week nights. Hell, I hardly ever go out on weekdays. I feel a bit weird about leaving my kids on a Thursday night, but I really want to see the movie and this time is as good as any.
James has been sending me emails from Hawaii. He gets back early next week.
Either I’m losing my mind or my work’s email service is fucked up. I’ve had two students tell me they hadn’t received emails I’ve sent, and I had a woman organizing a conference tell me she never received a proposal I thought I sent. Even stranger is the fact I can’t find the proposal in any of my documents. Bizarre. I know my memory is fading, but come on, creating a document and emailing it, all in my head?
I could use a beer tonight. I might try to work out in the morning, if I can get up that early.
I’ve been reading Dante’s Inferno. Great material, not nearly as intense on the reader as some of the other classics, but worthwhile in a way I have a hard time describing. I might put Dante down tonight, however, for a book on people who like to read.
We’re broke. We’ll get out of the hole eventually, but we’re trying to be careful about spending cash on things we don’t need. I think the post-Christmas spending inertia is more dangerous than the Christmas season.
I attended church on Sunday and liked the service. My mentee (I need to email him, by the way) and I attended together. I would have blown off the service had we not planned on attending the service together. Snow was falling pretty hard. Still, T, S, and I hit Best Buy before the service, threading over a slick, dangerous I43. The trip was not all that wise, but I promised the boys we would visit Best Buy, and I didn’t want to let them down.
The semester has started, and I feel like I can breathe a bit. I need to water tomorrow, though. I’ve been slipping. Maybe I need to rethink the “once a week” first floor watering policy. Maybe I need to water more. We’ll see. Good night.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
I can’t complain about waking at 2AM when I fall asleep at 8PM. I mean, really, I’ve had six hours of sleep. However, I struggle with the idea of how to use these empty, isolated hours. Work on the dissertation? Sick and wrong. Read? Sure. Watch television? Maybe, if Sportscenter or whatever is on, but most of what’s showing in the middle of the night depresses me. I don’t know. I usually associate waking at these hours with stress and tension, but I’m not particularly stressed and depressed. I just wish I had something interesting to do. I miss Chicago on cold winter nights. I knew something was going on out there, even if I never left my apartment. I remember running with Maura through the bitter cold to the Village Pub on Roscoe. That sort of thing.
Ok, today was a decent day. I woke at about six-thirty, after sleeping on the couch, and immediately donned my mp3 player and hit the gym. I did twenty minutes on the bike and lifted weights, discovering, in the process, that the new Shins CD is not good workout music. After I returned I halfheartedly started cleaning, but I really wasn’t in the mood, so I gave up, played on the computer, and watched basketball. Later M left for some scrapbooking gathering, so I watched the last half of “Wordplay”, a decent documentary on crossword puzzles. M didn’t return until late in the afternoon, so I nixed my plans to catch “The Curse of the Golden Flower” with some friends from work. I wanted to see the movie, and I could have used a night out, but M deserves time to clear her head as well. Still, I don’t get out enough. It’s hard to think of a good reason to leave the house in the middle of the winter. Later I took a bath, read Dante’s Inferno, and fell asleep in the guest bedroom with T on the little bed next to me. I woke not long ago and made sure he had covers before I moved downstairs.
Today should be ok. I’m taking the kid I mentor at the UU church to services. We’re supposed to do that as part of the mentor thing. I suppose that responsibility will force me to stay within the sanctuary for the entire service rather than pace the lobby. I don’t know that I’m up for the challenge. The Bears play later. I thought of driving into work in the morning, but I’d just be going to get away from the house. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll still go. I have to repot a couple of plants and set up my new fountain. Oh, I want to ride the Y bike as well. Maybe I’ll ride during the Bears game, but if they start to lose I’m going to have a hard time watching, and there aren’t many other places at the Y, other than the television, to direct one’s eyes. The semester starts Monday. Good night.
Ok, today was a decent day. I woke at about six-thirty, after sleeping on the couch, and immediately donned my mp3 player and hit the gym. I did twenty minutes on the bike and lifted weights, discovering, in the process, that the new Shins CD is not good workout music. After I returned I halfheartedly started cleaning, but I really wasn’t in the mood, so I gave up, played on the computer, and watched basketball. Later M left for some scrapbooking gathering, so I watched the last half of “Wordplay”, a decent documentary on crossword puzzles. M didn’t return until late in the afternoon, so I nixed my plans to catch “The Curse of the Golden Flower” with some friends from work. I wanted to see the movie, and I could have used a night out, but M deserves time to clear her head as well. Still, I don’t get out enough. It’s hard to think of a good reason to leave the house in the middle of the winter. Later I took a bath, read Dante’s Inferno, and fell asleep in the guest bedroom with T on the little bed next to me. I woke not long ago and made sure he had covers before I moved downstairs.
Today should be ok. I’m taking the kid I mentor at the UU church to services. We’re supposed to do that as part of the mentor thing. I suppose that responsibility will force me to stay within the sanctuary for the entire service rather than pace the lobby. I don’t know that I’m up for the challenge. The Bears play later. I thought of driving into work in the morning, but I’d just be going to get away from the house. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll still go. I have to repot a couple of plants and set up my new fountain. Oh, I want to ride the Y bike as well. Maybe I’ll ride during the Bears game, but if they start to lose I’m going to have a hard time watching, and there aren’t many other places at the Y, other than the television, to direct one’s eyes. The semester starts Monday. Good night.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Now the hell pre-semester weeks are finished, I'm hoping I can get back into a groove with writing, sleeping, minor things like that, etc. The stomach flu hit me earlier in the week, Tuesday, but I recovered enough to survive a thirteen hour day Wednesday, virtually no sleep Wednesday night, a paranoid and exhausted day Thursday, decent sleep Thursday night, and a decent Friday. Today I worked in my office, took in a few meetings, and caught up on paperwork. Earlier in the week I attended a few all-day meetings, coded and categorized themes on my latest interview transcripts, and tried to hang out with the kids. Ok, ten bullet post, here we go:
T has changed his instrument of choice from guitar to drums. I’m ok with the switch. I don’t mind the noise. A friend at work is married to a band director. She’s promised to ask her husband about students who might be looking to sell their drum sets. S should be able to start guitar soon. Maybe N will have to pick up bass. They can form a band together, like Oasis (hope not) or Hanson (not a bad deal, all things considered).
Tomorrow my friend Mary wants to see “The Curse of the Golden Flower” with some friends from work. I might attend. I don’t go out on Saturday nights too much. I’ll be with the boys all day, too, so I don’t think I’ll worry about missing the kids. Maybe I’ll go. Ooh, should I leave the house on a Saturday night in Winter? I don’t know.
Speaking of winter, we’re in the throes of the dull, drab, colorless stage of the season. My dad used to say the worst month of winter was the last two weeks of January and the first two weeks of February. He may have had a point. Still, today, while picking up (badly overpriced) pizza in downtown Port, I looked to the south and say a red haze hanging over the power plant, contrasted with a bright white smoke plume emerging from the smokestacks, and I was stuck by the beauty of the scene. Summer’s not that far off. We’ll live. Hell, once we reach March first, the worst is over.
I downloaded a video of N playing Wii boxing. Here you go:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sDkSsBRLhmI
M apologize for the glare. Please excuse the father’s voice in the background exhorting his son to commit cartoon violence.
Here’s a picture of me in the mirror. Do I need a haircut?
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/december075.jpg
I’ve been listening to the new Shins a lot lately. It’s growing on me. I also have returned to Eno’s ambient work, specifically “Day of Radiance”.
I almost bought a “mini to mini” connector so I could listen to my Mp3 player on my stereo at work. However, I balked at the ten bucks. I should be able to carry my CDs, right? They’re not too heavy. Dan says I should just buy the cord since the Mp3 player can hold more music than my CD case. He has a point.
I bought a pot specifically designed for African violets today, a pot through which I can water the roots directly. I am determined to someday, someday, grow decent African violets. They are my white whale.
I’ve been reading Gaiman’s “Fragile Things”, which is great, as expected, and some of Eisner’s “Spirit” comics. Eisner’s work is brilliant, way ahead of his time.
Next week a Bacon exhibit opens at the Milwaukee Art Museum. I can’t wait. His work looks dark, intense, and just cool. I’m going to cut out of work on Thursday and attend the member preview day.
http://mam.org/exhibitions/exhibition_details.aspx?ID=78
Tomorrow I’m back on the exercise bike. I need the workout. I haven’t played hoops in close to two weeks…I haven’t missed that much court time in six months.
T has changed his instrument of choice from guitar to drums. I’m ok with the switch. I don’t mind the noise. A friend at work is married to a band director. She’s promised to ask her husband about students who might be looking to sell their drum sets. S should be able to start guitar soon. Maybe N will have to pick up bass. They can form a band together, like Oasis (hope not) or Hanson (not a bad deal, all things considered).
Tomorrow my friend Mary wants to see “The Curse of the Golden Flower” with some friends from work. I might attend. I don’t go out on Saturday nights too much. I’ll be with the boys all day, too, so I don’t think I’ll worry about missing the kids. Maybe I’ll go. Ooh, should I leave the house on a Saturday night in Winter? I don’t know.
Speaking of winter, we’re in the throes of the dull, drab, colorless stage of the season. My dad used to say the worst month of winter was the last two weeks of January and the first two weeks of February. He may have had a point. Still, today, while picking up (badly overpriced) pizza in downtown Port, I looked to the south and say a red haze hanging over the power plant, contrasted with a bright white smoke plume emerging from the smokestacks, and I was stuck by the beauty of the scene. Summer’s not that far off. We’ll live. Hell, once we reach March first, the worst is over.
I downloaded a video of N playing Wii boxing. Here you go:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sDkSsBRLhmI
M apologize for the glare. Please excuse the father’s voice in the background exhorting his son to commit cartoon violence.
Here’s a picture of me in the mirror. Do I need a haircut?
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/december075.jpg
I’ve been listening to the new Shins a lot lately. It’s growing on me. I also have returned to Eno’s ambient work, specifically “Day of Radiance”.
I almost bought a “mini to mini” connector so I could listen to my Mp3 player on my stereo at work. However, I balked at the ten bucks. I should be able to carry my CDs, right? They’re not too heavy. Dan says I should just buy the cord since the Mp3 player can hold more music than my CD case. He has a point.
I bought a pot specifically designed for African violets today, a pot through which I can water the roots directly. I am determined to someday, someday, grow decent African violets. They are my white whale.
I’ve been reading Gaiman’s “Fragile Things”, which is great, as expected, and some of Eisner’s “Spirit” comics. Eisner’s work is brilliant, way ahead of his time.
Next week a Bacon exhibit opens at the Milwaukee Art Museum. I can’t wait. His work looks dark, intense, and just cool. I’m going to cut out of work on Thursday and attend the member preview day.
http://mam.org/exhibitions/exhibition_details.aspx?ID=78
Tomorrow I’m back on the exercise bike. I need the workout. I haven’t played hoops in close to two weeks…I haven’t missed that much court time in six months.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Ok, these are my two busiest weeks of the year, at work, at work, so I apologize for my negligence as far as the journal/blog is concerned. This past week I worked well over fifty hours. I should be able to cut back once the semester starts.
Ten bullet post…
I’ve been riding the YMCA exercise bike a lot lately. I can do 10.80 (amazing how it’s always the exact number, despite my attempts to break closer to 11 miles) per half hour, or 21.6 miles an hour. I get my heart rate up to the low to mid 160s by the end of the ride. I listen to the Mp3 player while riding…works well. I don’t know how quite to compare running with riding the exercise bike, in terms of burned calories or whatever, but I sure sweat as much as ever on the bike, and it’s better for my knees.
Last night we attended a gathering for the mentors and mentees at the UU church I attend. I wasn’t sure if I was into this mentoring thing, but I like the kid I’m mentoring. He’s smart and pretty laid-back. His mom is decent, too. Maybe this will turn out ok.
Last night I watched “A Scanner Darkly”. I thought the director (Linkletter?) did a decent job. His weird animation practices fit the film well. Winona Ryder was decent, too. I sort of forgot she was a good actress. I’m almost done with the book, too. Brilliant. By the way, last week I speed-watched some Asian film called “Lady Vengeance”. That movie was crazy.
I’ve been under the weather since Friday. That night I fell asleep at 6:30PM and slept until 5:30AM. Yesterday I felt like every step I took required great effort. I’m feeling a bit better today, but I think I’ll skip the bike.
I’m feeling unreasonably proud of my cleaning/organization of the upstairs closet. I assembled (after M explained the proper procedures) wire shelves, cleaned up the unholy floor mess, and developed a system to keep all my clothes straight. Brilliant. I feel better every time I walk in the closet.
My memory, as I think I’ve mentioned before, is fading. Now, I don’t know if there’s a connection, but I’ve trying to give up caffeine in an attempt to keep my mental processes sharp. So far, so good. One diet coke in the morning, nothing else. I’ve been drinking more tea at work.
T and S attend a birthday party at Skateland today. I’m having another stretch in which I feel like I’m on T, as the oldest, too much. Today we stood in the garage so he could show me his latest skateboard tricks. I had fun. He’s a good kid. Oh, I also told him he could fight back at school if someone punches him. That conversation has the potential for interesting repercussions.
My hair is as long as it has been in a year. I’m not sure I want to get it cut much. I like it. I don’t want a mullet, especially, and people with overstyled long hair look stupid.
The Bears play in about fifteen minutes. I want them to win today, at least, so I can shut up all the “they’ll never win a playoff game” people at work.
I’m having a weird craving for a Taco and Burrito House burrito and/or torta. Of course, as I would need to drive about one hundred and fifteen miles south to satisfy this craving, I think I will drink some tea and wait for the Bears game to start.
Ten bullet post…
I’ve been riding the YMCA exercise bike a lot lately. I can do 10.80 (amazing how it’s always the exact number, despite my attempts to break closer to 11 miles) per half hour, or 21.6 miles an hour. I get my heart rate up to the low to mid 160s by the end of the ride. I listen to the Mp3 player while riding…works well. I don’t know how quite to compare running with riding the exercise bike, in terms of burned calories or whatever, but I sure sweat as much as ever on the bike, and it’s better for my knees.
Last night we attended a gathering for the mentors and mentees at the UU church I attend. I wasn’t sure if I was into this mentoring thing, but I like the kid I’m mentoring. He’s smart and pretty laid-back. His mom is decent, too. Maybe this will turn out ok.
Last night I watched “A Scanner Darkly”. I thought the director (Linkletter?) did a decent job. His weird animation practices fit the film well. Winona Ryder was decent, too. I sort of forgot she was a good actress. I’m almost done with the book, too. Brilliant. By the way, last week I speed-watched some Asian film called “Lady Vengeance”. That movie was crazy.
I’ve been under the weather since Friday. That night I fell asleep at 6:30PM and slept until 5:30AM. Yesterday I felt like every step I took required great effort. I’m feeling a bit better today, but I think I’ll skip the bike.
I’m feeling unreasonably proud of my cleaning/organization of the upstairs closet. I assembled (after M explained the proper procedures) wire shelves, cleaned up the unholy floor mess, and developed a system to keep all my clothes straight. Brilliant. I feel better every time I walk in the closet.
My memory, as I think I’ve mentioned before, is fading. Now, I don’t know if there’s a connection, but I’ve trying to give up caffeine in an attempt to keep my mental processes sharp. So far, so good. One diet coke in the morning, nothing else. I’ve been drinking more tea at work.
T and S attend a birthday party at Skateland today. I’m having another stretch in which I feel like I’m on T, as the oldest, too much. Today we stood in the garage so he could show me his latest skateboard tricks. I had fun. He’s a good kid. Oh, I also told him he could fight back at school if someone punches him. That conversation has the potential for interesting repercussions.
My hair is as long as it has been in a year. I’m not sure I want to get it cut much. I like it. I don’t want a mullet, especially, and people with overstyled long hair look stupid.
The Bears play in about fifteen minutes. I want them to win today, at least, so I can shut up all the “they’ll never win a playoff game” people at work.
I’m having a weird craving for a Taco and Burrito House burrito and/or torta. Of course, as I would need to drive about one hundred and fifteen miles south to satisfy this craving, I think I will drink some tea and wait for the Bears game to start.
Friday, January 05, 2007
I’ve been meaning to write the last few days, but I haven’t found the time. Lame excuse. The same goes for my meditation. I need both more than ever, I think, but I’ve been flitting from distraction to distraction. Ok, the last few days…I’ve been quite busy at work, although I can imagine one l ooking from the outside might not think I as busy at all. On Tuesday I worked all day, although I was the only one in the office. I managed to knock out a lot early in the day, paperwork, returning emails, that sort of thing. I went in for half-days Wednesday and Thursday as well. On Thursday morning I finished the last tape transcription, and today I finished the last of the observations. I’m done. I can put the dissertation aside for a couple weeks. I would have to do so anyway because the next two weeks are looking like absolute motherfuckers. I’m not inspired or motivated by work at all lately. I’m just tired. I may go in Sunday morning, however, to knock out some paperwork because I’m swamped through next week. I refused to let the job cut into my family time, though. I needed to draw the line. I wonder how much longer I’ll last at the U. I need to think my scenario through a little deeper.
The rest of the week was interesting. On Tuesday (I think) I picked up an Mp3 player. I got a good one, lots of memory, a screen, all that, although I was ready to throw the device in the trash after I couldn’t figure out how to program a playlist. No worries. I’ve got a few discs on it now, and I’ve listened to both Thom Yorke and The New Pornographers while riding the bike at the gym. I’ve also downloaded a slew of new albums…I’ll need weeks to catch up on the catalog.
The temperatures have been unseasonably high as well. Today Shadow and I walked the woods and the bike path. The air smelled like March. Leaves disintegrated under our feet, the asphalt was fresh and wet, and the air seemed full of promise. I was somewhat worried the plants in the garden would think spring had arrived. I suppose they’re smarter than that. I also rode the bike, as mentioned above, a couple of days, and took the boys to the library twice this week. They do well in the quiet room, listening to me read, or walking through the stacks. I’ve been trying to let T experiment with more freedom, and the library seems like a good place. He’s allowed to walk downstairs on his own as long as he comes straight back. He also picked up his own library card. He’s a good boy. Today he had three friends over for football. The kids looked like lion cubs at play, just beating the crap out of each other on the football field but laughing the entire time. Anything else? No, I’m drinking tonight. Oh, and I’m a crappy UU mentor. More on that later.
I haven’t finished a complete book lately. Dan and I were on the phone tonight…we agree that transcribing tapes and notes has pushed me away from words later in the evening.
Ok, I feel better for writing. Good night.
The rest of the week was interesting. On Tuesday (I think) I picked up an Mp3 player. I got a good one, lots of memory, a screen, all that, although I was ready to throw the device in the trash after I couldn’t figure out how to program a playlist. No worries. I’ve got a few discs on it now, and I’ve listened to both Thom Yorke and The New Pornographers while riding the bike at the gym. I’ve also downloaded a slew of new albums…I’ll need weeks to catch up on the catalog.
The temperatures have been unseasonably high as well. Today Shadow and I walked the woods and the bike path. The air smelled like March. Leaves disintegrated under our feet, the asphalt was fresh and wet, and the air seemed full of promise. I was somewhat worried the plants in the garden would think spring had arrived. I suppose they’re smarter than that. I also rode the bike, as mentioned above, a couple of days, and took the boys to the library twice this week. They do well in the quiet room, listening to me read, or walking through the stacks. I’ve been trying to let T experiment with more freedom, and the library seems like a good place. He’s allowed to walk downstairs on his own as long as he comes straight back. He also picked up his own library card. He’s a good boy. Today he had three friends over for football. The kids looked like lion cubs at play, just beating the crap out of each other on the football field but laughing the entire time. Anything else? No, I’m drinking tonight. Oh, and I’m a crappy UU mentor. More on that later.
I haven’t finished a complete book lately. Dan and I were on the phone tonight…we agree that transcribing tapes and notes has pushed me away from words later in the evening.
Ok, I feel better for writing. Good night.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Today has been a decent start to the new year. I woke pretty early, around seven, after last night’s party (more on that in a second), and more or less crashed on the couch for my first waking hour. I considered cleaning the closet, but I couldn’t motivate myself that much, so instead T and I played Wii bowling and watched television. I finally showered and stumbled into the sun (welcome back, sun). I hit Target for storage cubes, vitamin C tablets (on massive sale), and a couple of other things. Then I hit Walgreens to pick up pictures. We had sixty bucks worth of pictures waiting for us. Wow…I didn’t expect that. Apparently Walgreens messed up some of them. M will take them to task tomorrow, I’m sure. She’s good at that sort of thing, much better than me, who would rather blow off the issue. She’s quite polite as well. M won’t make the photo clerk cry.
After I arrived home M informed me that she and a couple of friends were taking the kids bowling for real, at a bowling alley, rather than on a video game, then downtown to see the people jump into the lake to mark the new year. I suppose I could have watched the Badgers’ bowl game, but instead I drove to the YMCA and rode the bike for thirty minutes (10.80 miles). The desk clerk gave me a cool shirt for working out on the first day of the year. Score. At home I showered, bowled (video game), and posted the football pool seasonal results. T and I started building the storage cubes, but we realized they would be hard to move once we built them, so we gave up until M finishes cleaning the closet. I transferred some pics I took on a disposable camera out in Colorado to my computer, and then the photo website I use to spray the pictures across the internet. I ate eggs for dinner, turned on the Anonymous 4, and I’m writing now. The boys need an early night.
Our NY Eve party was a success. We had about seventy-five beers in the fridge, if you use alcohol as a measure, and about twenty are left. Let me see, I think about ten adults and fifteen kids were present. T hurt one of the neighbor girls, but they usually get along, so I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it. Apparently they were all teasing each other, etc., and he pushed her with his light saber (no pun intended). His mom’s cool, so I hope she was ok with the scenario. However, this was the only bad spot of the night. The party started at six, but only one family had arrived by 6:45, so I was starting to wonder if we had any friends. Everyone arrived at once just before seven. We watched the stupid Bears blow the season finale to the Packers, talked, and drank. The kids played upstairs, shaking the ceiling to the point where people were seriously worried a wayward child would come crashing through the dining room ceiling. I’m used to the noise…no crashing took place. N fell asleep between the bed and the wall…very funny. If I can find a picture I’ll post it here. Everyone left by ten or so. I’m usually the guy hiding inside when M’s friends and their families come over, but I think I acquitted myself socially pretty well. I don’t know.
Whoo, tired tonight. I might try to ride the bike early in the morning as well, so I should get to sleep early. Maybe I’ll take some melatonin. Good night.
Some pictures from my trip to Colorado, taken on a shitty disposable camera:
My brother carrying his equipment (he's a musician, and he had a gig) down the mountain to his car. He and I had pushed the rental car down this driveway to the main road the night before:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-14.jpg
My brother in his weird mountain shack. The appliances run mostly on solar power...the place is about half-hour up the mountains outside Boulder. That's my foot on the side, by the way...
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-15.jpg
We stopped at a small mountain town one day...here was one of the views...the day after the huge snowstorm:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-21.jpg
This picture didn't come out brilliantly, but right in the middle of all this snow is a stag with decent antlers...I was amazed at how gracefully he leaped through all the snow...I took this pic from my brother's living room:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-19.jpg
After I arrived home M informed me that she and a couple of friends were taking the kids bowling for real, at a bowling alley, rather than on a video game, then downtown to see the people jump into the lake to mark the new year. I suppose I could have watched the Badgers’ bowl game, but instead I drove to the YMCA and rode the bike for thirty minutes (10.80 miles). The desk clerk gave me a cool shirt for working out on the first day of the year. Score. At home I showered, bowled (video game), and posted the football pool seasonal results. T and I started building the storage cubes, but we realized they would be hard to move once we built them, so we gave up until M finishes cleaning the closet. I transferred some pics I took on a disposable camera out in Colorado to my computer, and then the photo website I use to spray the pictures across the internet. I ate eggs for dinner, turned on the Anonymous 4, and I’m writing now. The boys need an early night.
Our NY Eve party was a success. We had about seventy-five beers in the fridge, if you use alcohol as a measure, and about twenty are left. Let me see, I think about ten adults and fifteen kids were present. T hurt one of the neighbor girls, but they usually get along, so I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it. Apparently they were all teasing each other, etc., and he pushed her with his light saber (no pun intended). His mom’s cool, so I hope she was ok with the scenario. However, this was the only bad spot of the night. The party started at six, but only one family had arrived by 6:45, so I was starting to wonder if we had any friends. Everyone arrived at once just before seven. We watched the stupid Bears blow the season finale to the Packers, talked, and drank. The kids played upstairs, shaking the ceiling to the point where people were seriously worried a wayward child would come crashing through the dining room ceiling. I’m used to the noise…no crashing took place. N fell asleep between the bed and the wall…very funny. If I can find a picture I’ll post it here. Everyone left by ten or so. I’m usually the guy hiding inside when M’s friends and their families come over, but I think I acquitted myself socially pretty well. I don’t know.
Whoo, tired tonight. I might try to ride the bike early in the morning as well, so I should get to sleep early. Maybe I’ll take some melatonin. Good night.
Some pictures from my trip to Colorado, taken on a shitty disposable camera:
My brother carrying his equipment (he's a musician, and he had a gig) down the mountain to his car. He and I had pushed the rental car down this driveway to the main road the night before:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-14.jpg
My brother in his weird mountain shack. The appliances run mostly on solar power...the place is about half-hour up the mountains outside Boulder. That's my foot on the side, by the way...
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-15.jpg
We stopped at a small mountain town one day...here was one of the views...the day after the huge snowstorm:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-21.jpg
This picture didn't come out brilliantly, but right in the middle of all this snow is a stag with decent antlers...I was amazed at how gracefully he leaped through all the snow...I took this pic from my brother's living room:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/randomanthony/12-30-2006-19.jpg
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