Everyone asleep, only 8:37, not sure what to do. Pray? Maybe. I could go see Borat in forty-five minutes, but it's cold outside. I could turn on Mystery Train. Yeah, maybe I'll do that.

Tonight T was laying on my lap and I could feel his heart beating through my fingertips. I let him put his head to my chest and he could hear my heart. He couldn't feel my heart with his hands. I couldn't feel my heart with my hands. I do worry about my heart. I could be one of those "heart attack at 40" guys. This goes beyond basic health, by the way. There are a lot of fat guys who live older than me, and I'm not horribly fat. I'm starting to think something non-verbal, sculpting, something like that, is needed. There is no reason I should be sitting in my office, in the dark, at 8:40 at night gritting my teeth. Life is too good for that.