So today’s the last day of February. I like March, in theory, at least, especially when the rains beat against the window and leaving the house is an act of faith that the winds won’t carry you away and deposit you in a yard four blocks north. Today feels like February, no, a mix of February and November, really, all grey and gross with old snow and, yes, we could use either sun or rain, one or the other, but not this endless gunmetal sky. I wish I had a full spectrum light. An hour in the glow would benefit my very cells.

So what’s up today? And last night? Well, I tried to drink last night but mostly failed. 3 and a half stale beers (cleaning out the fridge) in less than an hour and my stomach was turning. The Wii room called, where I read travel essays and crashed early. This morning I woke by 3:30. You know, waking at 3:30 doesn’t feel weird to me anymore. Is that wrong? Still, the hours before dawn passed easily, no complaints, caught up on scrabble, answered email, graded papers. N was up early, watching Tom and Jerry. Oops, I addressed some of this a couple posts back. Consider this paragraph confirmation and expansion. At 7AM on Sundays I usually walk in the Y as the doors open, but I needed to wait until the afternoon to lift, so I showered and hit the coffee shop to finish grading papers. Those couple hours of space make all the day’s difference. Corey’s right. When M called, asking me to return so she and T could take Mack/Pete to the dog park, I was calm and ready for the day. N and I mixed a chocolate cake, poured the batter into the stadium mold, and set the mold in the oven. Pics below. Later I did thirty minutes on the stairmaster and full legs/upper body/abs except for one leg machine because old people take too fucking long at the YMCA. The boys had friends over through most of the afternoon so when I wasn’t mixing frosting or sifting powdered sugar (a near orgasmic experience) I was looking through the travel section for trip ideas (northwest rain forests?) and reading travel essays in the humidifier-supplied bedroom. My sinus thing is backing down.

So I’m praying a little more, too, in little moments, when I’m waiting for the microwave to count down, or losing focus when reading, moments like those. I’m calm today, and feeling calm is novel. Good day. More later.