I’m kind of wired and wondering if I should try new crunches instead of always doing the bicycle crunches. I don’t know.
This morning I woke with my allergies going bonkers again. I think tonight I’ll sleep upstairs instead of on the porch. Maybe the porch-sleeping is causing more allergy problems. Anyway, after stumbling awake and downing my coffee I lifted (partially with S), ate breakfast, and took a shower. Then T, S and I hit Stein’s, ShopKo, and Best Buy/Target while M and N hit Costco. We picked up a few plants at Stein’s, nothing at ShopKo (just wanted to check out their sale on patio furniture), and another Roman Empire video game for T at Target (after comparing prices at Best Buy).
I did thirty on the elliptical while watching Sportscenter and Baseball Tonight. Ross came over in the middle of the workout. Sometimes he rings the doorbell out of nowhere. I’m not used to people who ring the doorbell out of nowhere. I didn’t mean to be rude but I was in the middle of cardio so I let him and Maura talk while I climbed back on the machine. After a shower and lunch I pulled the plants from the car and installed in the deck pots. Gardening has held no appeal for me this year. I just don’t care. Tending the earth, which used to relax me, has lately felt like an unwanted obligation. So I’ve let the vegetables go for 2009 and only today got around to planting the pots around the deck. Instead of annuals I planted perennials. Working in the dirt felt good for the twenty minutes or so but I doubt I would have enjoyed more. Later I watched the Sox embarrass the Cubs and made orzo and vegetables for dinner. I’ll probably read some from Instant Enemy and get everything ready for tomorrow. I’m wired and tired at the same time, never a good state, and I’m grinding my teeth for no reason whatsoever. Maybe I’ll meditate. Have a good start of the week.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I’m on the front porch on a slightly cooler day after a long week. Both the floor and the ceiling fan blowing air across the long, narrow space. The boys are on the computer and/or television. M, I think, is reading on the back porch. For some reason I’m struggling to breathe. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I’m thinking about breathing too much. I don’t know.
The last few days have been fine, although I feel tired and unable to concentrate well. Maybe I’ve read too much and pushed too hard lately. A day hasn’t passed without reading, oh, at least thirty minutes, since South Dakota. I’ve also acclimated to the “six day a week, Saturdays off” workout plan, which while a little lighter than before, is still a challenge. I’m eating better, too. At least today. Anyway, I’ve worked a bit through both Jakob Von Gunten and the latest Dalai Lama book but I don’t feel as if I have much energy for either. Today I’ve read the first fifty pages of McDonald’s The Instant Enemy. I had never heard of this guy until someone on GR recommended him. The book is strong, pre-Elloy, if you will, but arguably as strong if not as fireworks-charged.
Last night Ross, Amy and their kids came over for a bonfire. We had a pretty good time, I think, but I was up way late (midnight) and N woke me this morning at 5:30. Today we’re taking easy. Well, we hit Cedarburg’s Strawberry festival, full of grill-smoke and cute girls in summer clothes, but after that I’ve done little but read and watch the start of the Cubs/White Sox games. I’m tempted to hit Stein’s for perennials, but Stein’s is twenty minutes away and I can always wait until Monday after work.
Maybe I’ll take a bath soon. More later.
The last few days have been fine, although I feel tired and unable to concentrate well. Maybe I’ve read too much and pushed too hard lately. A day hasn’t passed without reading, oh, at least thirty minutes, since South Dakota. I’ve also acclimated to the “six day a week, Saturdays off” workout plan, which while a little lighter than before, is still a challenge. I’m eating better, too. At least today. Anyway, I’ve worked a bit through both Jakob Von Gunten and the latest Dalai Lama book but I don’t feel as if I have much energy for either. Today I’ve read the first fifty pages of McDonald’s The Instant Enemy. I had never heard of this guy until someone on GR recommended him. The book is strong, pre-Elloy, if you will, but arguably as strong if not as fireworks-charged.
Last night Ross, Amy and their kids came over for a bonfire. We had a pretty good time, I think, but I was up way late (midnight) and N woke me this morning at 5:30. Today we’re taking easy. Well, we hit Cedarburg’s Strawberry festival, full of grill-smoke and cute girls in summer clothes, but after that I’ve done little but read and watch the start of the Cubs/White Sox games. I’m tempted to hit Stein’s for perennials, but Stein’s is twenty minutes away and I can always wait until Monday after work.
Maybe I’ll take a bath soon. More later.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Hot enough for you? Early enough for you? The temps have transcended 90 the last couple of days, and they’ll reach ninety today, perhaps. Ladies and gentlemen below the Mason/Dixon line, I don’t know how you do it. I imagine you leave air conditioned spaces as little as possible.
Currently I’m sitting on the front porch in the dark, 3:33AM. I’m slightly out of sorts and not breathing properly. When I mindfully breathe I feel better.
So what have I done the last few days? On Monday I worked in the office for a few hours in the morning, but didn’t get much done, then visited with Paul at some Shorewood restaurant called The City Market after getting slightly lost and driving through a mildly terrifying neighborhood. I’m always fascinated when horrible neighborhoods exist next to yuppie enclaves. Monday night I fell asleep early. Yesterday I was in the office again, but only for maybe two hours followed by the gym and a couch collapse with the second episode of “True Blood”.
I should meditate soon. Oh, I fixed my bike. I’ll probably head out for a ride after M returns from Zumba. Have a good day.
Currently I’m sitting on the front porch in the dark, 3:33AM. I’m slightly out of sorts and not breathing properly. When I mindfully breathe I feel better.
So what have I done the last few days? On Monday I worked in the office for a few hours in the morning, but didn’t get much done, then visited with Paul at some Shorewood restaurant called The City Market after getting slightly lost and driving through a mildly terrifying neighborhood. I’m always fascinated when horrible neighborhoods exist next to yuppie enclaves. Monday night I fell asleep early. Yesterday I was in the office again, but only for maybe two hours followed by the gym and a couch collapse with the second episode of “True Blood”.
I should meditate soon. Oh, I fixed my bike. I’ll probably head out for a ride after M returns from Zumba. Have a good day.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I’m at the dining room table in my pajamas while the boys watch Avatar on the other side of the glass doors that separate the living and dining rooms. T was set for a sleepover, but his friend’s grandfather died, so the sleepover is canceled. Instead T and S will stay up late and watch Iron Man. T has pronounced Iron Man as his favorite movie. I’d prefer to watch Coraline, of which a friend burned us a copy, but I will be outvoted.
So what have I done since the last entry? When did I write last? Yesterday morning, apparently. Most of yesterday I spent with Odd Man Out, a minor league pitcher’s memoir. I read all 256 pages in one day…just what I needed in tandem with the intense but ultra-brilliant end of Walser’s short stories collection. The temperatures hovered well above eighty, the first hot Saturday of the summer, so I closed the front porch blinds and stuck with the book most of the day. Did I leave the house? I don’t think so, at least not until the early evening, when T, S and I drove around town on a lark. You only get so many beautiful summer evenings, and you might as well drive around town. We stopped to watch a deer with huge black eyes cross the road near the bike path. She didn’t appear scared of us as she crossed the road and sauntered into the foliage near the creek. I finished off the night with a couple beers (Corona Lights, if you must know). Oh, we also watched the first episode of Tru-Blood. Wow, there’s a lot of vampire f—king in the first episode. No watching those DVDs around the kids, thank you very much. Speaking of the kids, they played with the neighbors all day and most of the evening. I hardly saw them.
This morning I woke near seven and hit the elliptical for thirty minutes of a special on the history of pizza before eight. M and the boys gave me my father’s day presents, 1) a Ryan Braun jersey, and 2) a t-shirt that says “silent but deadly”. My sons are easily entertained. I asked M to take back the Braun jersey (not in front of the kids, of course) because I’m too old to wear another man’s name on my back. Later I hit Kohl’s myself and bought three shirts. During the Brew game (we lost again, Tigers are good) I lifted through a sinus episode, finishing everything but the last set of shoulder lifts, uh, the ones where you hold the dumbbells and try to point them directly in front of you at shoulder height. You know what I mean. S and I watched the Brew game, and I thought I’d be on the couch most of the day, but I rallied, cleaned some, and finished my laundry.
Slight sidebar: I don’t give a rat’s ass about my garden or lawn care this year. My neighbors to the west are probably appalled. My apologies. No, my apology is not sincere. I’m just no tin the mood for working in the earth this year. I’m not sure why, as the last four or five years I’ve enjoyed the garden.
M took the boys to the beach while I was completing the laundry and cleaning up the house. After I finished I jumped in the car and drove downtown. Corey asked me not long ago how often I hung out in Rotary Park and I realized I hadn’t just sat on a park bench by myself next to the water for a long time. So this afternoon I snagged coffee at Smith Bros. and sat on the bench nearest the bridge (and offering the most shade). Families were out, mostly, it seemed, either on bicycles or wearing polo shirts after lunch at one of the better restaurants downtown. Thank God I wasn’t one of them. I wore sunglasses. After a few minutes I donned my headphones and listened to eels. The earth tipped a little during the last minute of “Climbing Up To The Moon” and I felt like I was on LSD in the best was possible. I called M twice to see if she and the boys wanted to meet in the park but her phone was off. Later T called to see if we could hit Blockbuster for a movie for his (not yet canceled) sleepover, so he and I drove over to Grafton and purchased Iron Man and Superbad (the latter not for him, of course) because they were having a big enough sale on films to warrant purchase over rental. After a dinner of rice and grilled vegetables I showered and, well, here I am. Good night. I’m starting Hidden Camera later, then back to the office tomorrow. Have a lovely Sunday evening.
So what have I done since the last entry? When did I write last? Yesterday morning, apparently. Most of yesterday I spent with Odd Man Out, a minor league pitcher’s memoir. I read all 256 pages in one day…just what I needed in tandem with the intense but ultra-brilliant end of Walser’s short stories collection. The temperatures hovered well above eighty, the first hot Saturday of the summer, so I closed the front porch blinds and stuck with the book most of the day. Did I leave the house? I don’t think so, at least not until the early evening, when T, S and I drove around town on a lark. You only get so many beautiful summer evenings, and you might as well drive around town. We stopped to watch a deer with huge black eyes cross the road near the bike path. She didn’t appear scared of us as she crossed the road and sauntered into the foliage near the creek. I finished off the night with a couple beers (Corona Lights, if you must know). Oh, we also watched the first episode of Tru-Blood. Wow, there’s a lot of vampire f—king in the first episode. No watching those DVDs around the kids, thank you very much. Speaking of the kids, they played with the neighbors all day and most of the evening. I hardly saw them.
This morning I woke near seven and hit the elliptical for thirty minutes of a special on the history of pizza before eight. M and the boys gave me my father’s day presents, 1) a Ryan Braun jersey, and 2) a t-shirt that says “silent but deadly”. My sons are easily entertained. I asked M to take back the Braun jersey (not in front of the kids, of course) because I’m too old to wear another man’s name on my back. Later I hit Kohl’s myself and bought three shirts. During the Brew game (we lost again, Tigers are good) I lifted through a sinus episode, finishing everything but the last set of shoulder lifts, uh, the ones where you hold the dumbbells and try to point them directly in front of you at shoulder height. You know what I mean. S and I watched the Brew game, and I thought I’d be on the couch most of the day, but I rallied, cleaned some, and finished my laundry.
Slight sidebar: I don’t give a rat’s ass about my garden or lawn care this year. My neighbors to the west are probably appalled. My apologies. No, my apology is not sincere. I’m just no tin the mood for working in the earth this year. I’m not sure why, as the last four or five years I’ve enjoyed the garden.
M took the boys to the beach while I was completing the laundry and cleaning up the house. After I finished I jumped in the car and drove downtown. Corey asked me not long ago how often I hung out in Rotary Park and I realized I hadn’t just sat on a park bench by myself next to the water for a long time. So this afternoon I snagged coffee at Smith Bros. and sat on the bench nearest the bridge (and offering the most shade). Families were out, mostly, it seemed, either on bicycles or wearing polo shirts after lunch at one of the better restaurants downtown. Thank God I wasn’t one of them. I wore sunglasses. After a few minutes I donned my headphones and listened to eels. The earth tipped a little during the last minute of “Climbing Up To The Moon” and I felt like I was on LSD in the best was possible. I called M twice to see if she and the boys wanted to meet in the park but her phone was off. Later T called to see if we could hit Blockbuster for a movie for his (not yet canceled) sleepover, so he and I drove over to Grafton and purchased Iron Man and Superbad (the latter not for him, of course) because they were having a big enough sale on films to warrant purchase over rental. After a dinner of rice and grilled vegetables I showered and, well, here I am. Good night. I’m starting Hidden Camera later, then back to the office tomorrow. Have a lovely Sunday evening.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
And good morning to you. You know, I normally write in the journal later at night (well, later at night for me), but lately that evening stretch is reserved for Brewers games and reading on the front porch. Maybe I should write during the Brewers game. Anyway, Saturday morning, first real summery morning, to me, anyway, of the year. S wanted to sleep on the front porch futon, and he didn’t want to sleep down here alone, so I crashed on the couch. I’m on the front porch now, all the windows open, breeze cutting through, eels playing on the mp3 player, N getting on his shoes, getting ready to play outside with his brothers. The house is crazy messy. I’m sure I’ll get to cleaning sooner or later.
This week was busy, like summer weeks can be, with meetings, paperwork, kids’ baseball, and (as far as this week goes) a Chicago run. Here are the highlights:
• Wednesday JC and I hit Glorioso’s for lunch. We also checked out the bakery on the corner, which reminded me acutely of those in Assisi.
• I’m almost finished with the Walser short stories. This book is truly one of the best I’ve ever read, and I don’t use that phrase lightly.
• I finished season one of Burn Notice. That show is way underrated, if you ask me, and I’m considering getting season two, although I’ve seen some of the episodes already. M and I watch season three’s episodes on USA on Thursday nights. We might watch True Blood next.
• The Brew’s playing well. I’m not afraid of the Cubs. They’ll choke.
• Thursday was our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We celebrated by taking the kids down to Chicago for the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry. Pics to follow. We also walked through the rest of the museum, which is a lot different than when I was a kid, then stopped at Powell’s and let the boys buy books. T was slightly interested in an alligator hot dog at Hot Doug’s but chickened out before we could find a parking place.
• Lots of meetings yesterday, but work went pretty well, except for the fact the humidity after the torrential rains caused some adhesive to fail leading to a broken picture frame in the office.
• I’m trying to perfect a workout schedule. Here’s what I have so far:
Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday: weights, 30 minutes cardio
Monday: 60 min cardio, usually in two 30 minute stretches
Tuesday: weights, 30 minutes cardio
Wednesday, Friday: Either 1) 30 minutes cardio/60 minutes basketball, or 2) 60 minutes cardio
Saturday: Off
I’m holding myself to the “off” Saturday. If I don’t hold myself to the break I’ll pay for my overzealousness later. I’ve been working out intensely for over a year now. I’m getting a better sense of what I’m doing.
Ok, the boys just hauled a shitload of toys out of the basement. That’s a good thing, right? Have a lovely Saturday.
This week was busy, like summer weeks can be, with meetings, paperwork, kids’ baseball, and (as far as this week goes) a Chicago run. Here are the highlights:
• Wednesday JC and I hit Glorioso’s for lunch. We also checked out the bakery on the corner, which reminded me acutely of those in Assisi.
• I’m almost finished with the Walser short stories. This book is truly one of the best I’ve ever read, and I don’t use that phrase lightly.
• I finished season one of Burn Notice. That show is way underrated, if you ask me, and I’m considering getting season two, although I’ve seen some of the episodes already. M and I watch season three’s episodes on USA on Thursday nights. We might watch True Blood next.
• The Brew’s playing well. I’m not afraid of the Cubs. They’ll choke.
• Thursday was our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We celebrated by taking the kids down to Chicago for the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry. Pics to follow. We also walked through the rest of the museum, which is a lot different than when I was a kid, then stopped at Powell’s and let the boys buy books. T was slightly interested in an alligator hot dog at Hot Doug’s but chickened out before we could find a parking place.
• Lots of meetings yesterday, but work went pretty well, except for the fact the humidity after the torrential rains caused some adhesive to fail leading to a broken picture frame in the office.
• I’m trying to perfect a workout schedule. Here’s what I have so far:
Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday: weights, 30 minutes cardio
Monday: 60 min cardio, usually in two 30 minute stretches
Tuesday: weights, 30 minutes cardio
Wednesday, Friday: Either 1) 30 minutes cardio/60 minutes basketball, or 2) 60 minutes cardio
Saturday: Off
I’m holding myself to the “off” Saturday. If I don’t hold myself to the break I’ll pay for my overzealousness later. I’ve been working out intensely for over a year now. I’m getting a better sense of what I’m doing.
Ok, the boys just hauled a shitload of toys out of the basement. That’s a good thing, right? Have a lovely Saturday.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I’m on the couch, Saturday morning, 11:16AM. N and S are next door, playing with Max, and T is off at Jaden’s cottage. M is shopping. When did the house get so quiet?
This was a busy but gratifying week. Thursday was long but necessary. At 10:30AM we attended N’s kindergarten graduation ceremony. The parents gathered on folding chairs in the gym. I’m always amused by the people (fathers, 90% of the time, with a smattering of moms and grandparents) obsessed with documenting the event with expensive camera equipment and such…seriousness. They move from spot to spot with their tripods and determined visages with a great sense of purpose. It’s kindergarten graduation, people. Anyway, we took some pictures, too, but I mostly stood in the back whispering “please don’t do anything weird, N, please don’t do anything weird, N” over and over to myself like a mantra. He sat on the risers during the songs, but hey, I can respect that. One can only handle so much stimuli. N also spoke on the microphone, saying “We hope you have a great summer.” Awesome.
(Slight sidebar…I’m listening to Eels on random, and their cover of D. Johnston’s “Living Life” just came on. God, I love this song.)
After the graduation ceremony we took N to Target for legos then return home, ate lunch, and dropped N off at the neighbor’s so we could return to school for T’s fourth grade promotion ceremony. Let me explain. Our district’s elementary children proceed to middle school after fourth grade, so the elementary schools make a big deal out of the move from fourth to fifth. The kids sang songs, etc. and everything was fine until they played a powerpoint of pictures of the entire year with Green Day’s “The Time of Your Life” as the soundtrack. Ladies and gentlemen, the collective floodgates opened. Moms cried everywhere. In order to avoid an annoying former student I cut out early and waited in the car. Later T and I bought video games at Best Buy before his baseball game. Long day, but a good one.
Yesterday morning I played hoops then hit the office for a couple hours before a meeting with the dean before hitting lunch with Corey. My God, he took me took the best Italian deli I’ve experienced for a long time. The space is tiny, every inch of shelf space crammed with some exotic olive or whatever. I had a top notch eggplant/artichoke salad. We sat outside and ate at a sidewalk table. Here’s a pic, although I lifted the pic from the web, to be clear…I didn’t take the pic myself. Oh, the deli’s name is Glorioso’s…highly recommended.
http://www.citydictionary.com/Uploaded/Images/Gloriosos-20080706033026.jpg
Last night we hit the first outdoor concert of the year here in Port. We had a great time. See below for pics. Jim from over on Chestnut St. got me slightly drunk. When we returned home I watched some of the Brew/White Sox game and the heart-stopping ending of the Pens/Red Wings game. I love when the Red Wings lose. Then I read Walser and feel asleep. This morning I slept until the decadent 8:30AM. How did that happen? T and I switched out the storm and screen windows in the kitchen before he left.
N’s on the couch next to me. He’s playing Star Wars on DS. I may haul the and his brother out for an adventure soon. Life is good. Have a lovely Saturday.
This was a busy but gratifying week. Thursday was long but necessary. At 10:30AM we attended N’s kindergarten graduation ceremony. The parents gathered on folding chairs in the gym. I’m always amused by the people (fathers, 90% of the time, with a smattering of moms and grandparents) obsessed with documenting the event with expensive camera equipment and such…seriousness. They move from spot to spot with their tripods and determined visages with a great sense of purpose. It’s kindergarten graduation, people. Anyway, we took some pictures, too, but I mostly stood in the back whispering “please don’t do anything weird, N, please don’t do anything weird, N” over and over to myself like a mantra. He sat on the risers during the songs, but hey, I can respect that. One can only handle so much stimuli. N also spoke on the microphone, saying “We hope you have a great summer.” Awesome.
(Slight sidebar…I’m listening to Eels on random, and their cover of D. Johnston’s “Living Life” just came on. God, I love this song.)
After the graduation ceremony we took N to Target for legos then return home, ate lunch, and dropped N off at the neighbor’s so we could return to school for T’s fourth grade promotion ceremony. Let me explain. Our district’s elementary children proceed to middle school after fourth grade, so the elementary schools make a big deal out of the move from fourth to fifth. The kids sang songs, etc. and everything was fine until they played a powerpoint of pictures of the entire year with Green Day’s “The Time of Your Life” as the soundtrack. Ladies and gentlemen, the collective floodgates opened. Moms cried everywhere. In order to avoid an annoying former student I cut out early and waited in the car. Later T and I bought video games at Best Buy before his baseball game. Long day, but a good one.
Yesterday morning I played hoops then hit the office for a couple hours before a meeting with the dean before hitting lunch with Corey. My God, he took me took the best Italian deli I’ve experienced for a long time. The space is tiny, every inch of shelf space crammed with some exotic olive or whatever. I had a top notch eggplant/artichoke salad. We sat outside and ate at a sidewalk table. Here’s a pic, although I lifted the pic from the web, to be clear…I didn’t take the pic myself. Oh, the deli’s name is Glorioso’s…highly recommended.
http://www.citydictionary.com/Uploaded/Images/Gloriosos-20080706033026.jpg
Last night we hit the first outdoor concert of the year here in Port. We had a great time. See below for pics. Jim from over on Chestnut St. got me slightly drunk. When we returned home I watched some of the Brew/White Sox game and the heart-stopping ending of the Pens/Red Wings game. I love when the Red Wings lose. Then I read Walser and feel asleep. This morning I slept until the decadent 8:30AM. How did that happen? T and I switched out the storm and screen windows in the kitchen before he left.
N’s on the couch next to me. He’s playing Star Wars on DS. I may haul the and his brother out for an adventure soon. Life is good. Have a lovely Saturday.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Happy Wednesday evening. Today was supposed to be cold and rainy but the green waves on the weather map skewed south. Tonight the air is a bit cool but I just sat under the gazebo for a few minutes in my red flannel and felt pretty good. I need to sit out back more often. Maybe when summer arrives. We’re nowhere near summer as far as the thermometer is concerned yet.
Today was interesting. Well, tonight was interesting. Anyway, this morning I pulled myself out of bed at 4:20, drank coffee, and hit the gym by 5:15AM. I knocked out thirty minutes on the stairmaster then played fairly decent hoops for an hour. The nagging Attitudes and Dispositions revisions hung over my head until, after fucking around for part of the morning, I buckled down at the dining room table and finished decent drafts this afternoon. My brain was fried but the weight was off my shoulders so I cranked the new eels and cleaned the kitchen before picking the boys up from school. Today was field today, I guess, which T and S loved but N hated. N’s report card, however, kicked ass. I’m proud of that kid. He’s come from a long way down, with all the ear infections and pre-school issues, and he’s doing well. Of course, a couple hours later N pronounced “T-Ball Stinks!” to his (kind of a jerk) T-Ball coach and walked off the field. Later I told him walking off the field takes some guts. He’ll find his way. Maybe martial arts.
Tomorrow is N’s kindergarten graduation and T’s fourth grade promotion. M has warned me she might cry. We’ll see. I’m a pretty good place, I guess, although I ate way too much pizza tonight. I should crash soon. I’m digging Walser’s stories and will probably read a few on the front porch before crashing. Good night.
Today was interesting. Well, tonight was interesting. Anyway, this morning I pulled myself out of bed at 4:20, drank coffee, and hit the gym by 5:15AM. I knocked out thirty minutes on the stairmaster then played fairly decent hoops for an hour. The nagging Attitudes and Dispositions revisions hung over my head until, after fucking around for part of the morning, I buckled down at the dining room table and finished decent drafts this afternoon. My brain was fried but the weight was off my shoulders so I cranked the new eels and cleaned the kitchen before picking the boys up from school. Today was field today, I guess, which T and S loved but N hated. N’s report card, however, kicked ass. I’m proud of that kid. He’s come from a long way down, with all the ear infections and pre-school issues, and he’s doing well. Of course, a couple hours later N pronounced “T-Ball Stinks!” to his (kind of a jerk) T-Ball coach and walked off the field. Later I told him walking off the field takes some guts. He’ll find his way. Maybe martial arts.
Tomorrow is N’s kindergarten graduation and T’s fourth grade promotion. M has warned me she might cry. We’ll see. I’m a pretty good place, I guess, although I ate way too much pizza tonight. I should crash soon. I’m digging Walser’s stories and will probably read a few on the front porch before crashing. Good night.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009
June 6, 2009 9:32PM
The sixth of June and my first entry of the month? Shame on me.
I’m at the dining room table, lights off, catching up with the online world after a day in Chicago with Ross. I’ll post pictures tomorrow. They’re already up on facebook, in case you just can’t wait. Ross asked, a couple months back, to see “the real Chicago.” So, well, since there are gads of real Chicagos, I showed him mine. We ate at the Taco and Burrito House, hung out in Millennium Park, visited Powell’s bookstore, and got onion rings at Superdawg’s. We tried Hot Doug’s but the line was down the block. After pizza and T and B House I felt about 4,000 pounds so I worked out tonight while watching the Brew game. After a shower S and I settled on the couch for the rest of the game. Ross and Amy stopped by for the end.
What else has gone on this week? Let me think. Early in the week I was back in meetings, all day Tuesday, some on Monday, too, if I remember correctly. Every night included some baseball game or the other. I read on the sidelines and listened to my mp3 player. Oh, Wednesday T stayed home sick from school. He and I rearranged the first floor and watched Iron Man. I caught up on work Thursday morning and went to Chicago today. Next week should be interesting. I’m attending a field trip with T Monday afternoon but I should at least make an appearance at work Monday morning. The rest of the week will be busy until Friday, when N graduates from kindergarten and T finishes fourth grade. I’ll put in longer office days Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I feel workaholic guilt when I’m away too much.
Bullet points!
• I finished Jewish Messiah and I’m almost done with The Gum Thief.
• The new eels is good but not great. I’d put it above Shootenanny and Souljacker but below all the other ones.
• I’m trying to perfect a workout schedule but probably still pushing too hard. I had pizza today. Sometimes that’s good because after pizza I usually eat healthier for a while. It’s not that I eat horribly, just so you know. I just tighten my focus after pizza.
• This weekend is pirate fest. The weather tonight is beautiful, but rain and cold are predicted for the rest of the weekend. Pirate fest cannot catch a break. They always get shitty weather.
• The West Bend farmer’s market opens tomorrow. If I can get my ass up early enough I’m going. Yay farmer’s markets!
The sixth of June and my first entry of the month? Shame on me.
I’m at the dining room table, lights off, catching up with the online world after a day in Chicago with Ross. I’ll post pictures tomorrow. They’re already up on facebook, in case you just can’t wait. Ross asked, a couple months back, to see “the real Chicago.” So, well, since there are gads of real Chicagos, I showed him mine. We ate at the Taco and Burrito House, hung out in Millennium Park, visited Powell’s bookstore, and got onion rings at Superdawg’s. We tried Hot Doug’s but the line was down the block. After pizza and T and B House I felt about 4,000 pounds so I worked out tonight while watching the Brew game. After a shower S and I settled on the couch for the rest of the game. Ross and Amy stopped by for the end.
What else has gone on this week? Let me think. Early in the week I was back in meetings, all day Tuesday, some on Monday, too, if I remember correctly. Every night included some baseball game or the other. I read on the sidelines and listened to my mp3 player. Oh, Wednesday T stayed home sick from school. He and I rearranged the first floor and watched Iron Man. I caught up on work Thursday morning and went to Chicago today. Next week should be interesting. I’m attending a field trip with T Monday afternoon but I should at least make an appearance at work Monday morning. The rest of the week will be busy until Friday, when N graduates from kindergarten and T finishes fourth grade. I’ll put in longer office days Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I feel workaholic guilt when I’m away too much.
Bullet points!
• I finished Jewish Messiah and I’m almost done with The Gum Thief.
• The new eels is good but not great. I’d put it above Shootenanny and Souljacker but below all the other ones.
• I’m trying to perfect a workout schedule but probably still pushing too hard. I had pizza today. Sometimes that’s good because after pizza I usually eat healthier for a while. It’s not that I eat horribly, just so you know. I just tighten my focus after pizza.
• This weekend is pirate fest. The weather tonight is beautiful, but rain and cold are predicted for the rest of the weekend. Pirate fest cannot catch a break. They always get shitty weather.
• The West Bend farmer’s market opens tomorrow. If I can get my ass up early enough I’m going. Yay farmer’s markets!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
And good morning, everyone. It’s a little after four, when I usually rise, but I’ve been up since about 2:45. If I wake after 2:30 I’m dangerously close to the point of no return. Oh well. I’ll survive.
I think stress drove this bout of comparative insomnia. Yesterday was a long, physically painful day of boring meetings. The specter of a position change at work, one that might be a lose/lose for everyone involved, threatens. What can I learn from this? First, I don’t want to fall into unproductive behavioral patterns. I know what the panic attacks are like. I know how the long hours of soul-deadening conflict impact my family, and I won’t let that happen again. I’m grinding my teeth. I’m not sleeping. These are bad signs. This will be a test. This last few years have been a good run.
At least this weekend looks wide open. Maybe I’ll have a beer tonight. Last night Dawn, Mike and I sat at Mike’s picnic table and talked while the neighborhood kids played yard to yard. I’m back in a workout routine but damn, this morning my legs hurt, even after coffee. If I can pull off thirty on the elliptical and basketball this morning, then another thirty and weights tomorrow, then maybe I’ll take Sunday off. No, no, not Sunday, because Memorial Day weekend messed up my schedule. Monday. We’ll see.
So what did I get out of the badlands trip? Bullet points:
• The trip was transitional in that I think I was both saying goodbye to some negative skin, if you will, and gearing up for the next challenges.
• I was put in a solo survival position, with the car, and I responded well. That’s important.
• I reconnected with the holy.
I’m going to leave it as that for now. I don’t know I have a good answer just yet.
Have a good Friday.
I think stress drove this bout of comparative insomnia. Yesterday was a long, physically painful day of boring meetings. The specter of a position change at work, one that might be a lose/lose for everyone involved, threatens. What can I learn from this? First, I don’t want to fall into unproductive behavioral patterns. I know what the panic attacks are like. I know how the long hours of soul-deadening conflict impact my family, and I won’t let that happen again. I’m grinding my teeth. I’m not sleeping. These are bad signs. This will be a test. This last few years have been a good run.
At least this weekend looks wide open. Maybe I’ll have a beer tonight. Last night Dawn, Mike and I sat at Mike’s picnic table and talked while the neighborhood kids played yard to yard. I’m back in a workout routine but damn, this morning my legs hurt, even after coffee. If I can pull off thirty on the elliptical and basketball this morning, then another thirty and weights tomorrow, then maybe I’ll take Sunday off. No, no, not Sunday, because Memorial Day weekend messed up my schedule. Monday. We’ll see.
So what did I get out of the badlands trip? Bullet points:
• The trip was transitional in that I think I was both saying goodbye to some negative skin, if you will, and gearing up for the next challenges.
• I was put in a solo survival position, with the car, and I responded well. That’s important.
• I reconnected with the holy.
I’m going to leave it as that for now. I don’t know I have a good answer just yet.
Have a good Friday.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Holy crap, is today already May 22nd? How did that happen? I’m in the newly cleaned dining room, listening to the latest St. Vincent disc after f—king around most of the morning when I should have cleaned. No, that’s not entirely true. I hit Target for more fancy stick-to-the-wall hooks for prints in the new office. And I dropped S’s forgotten lunch off at his school. But other than that I channel-surfed and watched the “Fanboys” middle third between emails, etc. By one I felt guilty enough to start working on the house. The windows are open to a slightly cool, windy afternoon.
I promised a couple people I would get the South Dakota trip into text. Here we go.
Day One
Since I didn’t sleep until after midnight (S and I hit a Brew game) the night before, I skipped the gym, slept a little later, and hung out with the boys before heading west. N and I sat on the couch, chatting, once the Saturn was loaded. I said goodbye to M and the boys and headed out into the grey, misty morning. The first few hours were slow going, rain and construction, west to 90 and north to LaCrosse. I listened to Speaking of Faith and ate cheese sandwiches. In Minnesota the rain faded away and the speed limit increased to 70. Driving for nine, ten hours is boring, but Krista Tippet kept me focused and by late afternoon I entered South Dakota. The Saturn shook a little, and I thought something might have been wrong with the car but once I stopped I realized the wind was blowing as hard and cold as I had ever felt. Conversation would be impossible; this is the kind of blaring, unbalanced wind you see weather channel reporters braving near hurricanes. At least the skies were clear. I hit Chamberlain around dinner time, parked the car, and admitted to myself that I wouldn’t be running the neighborhood around the hotel as planned. The desk woman at the deserted Days Inn pointed me in the direction of the town for food. The hotel pool was waterless, so no swimming, either. Oh well. I snagged an omelet at a local diner after crossing the terrifying, river-spanning bridge connecting one part of Chamberlain with the other. The waiter was a very polite teenager who, when he wasn’t getting my order or food, returned to a corner table to chat with his friends. After paying for the surprisingly expensive (eight bucks) but serviceable omelet I returned to the wind, drove back to the hotel, and got online before reading, downing some melatonin, and falling asleep.
Day Two
I was up early but not in a particular hurry. The Badlands visitors center didn’t open until 8AM. Oh, I forgot to mention, the evening of Day One also featured a no holds barred battle with Hotels.com to change my Rapid City reservation. Fuck hotels.com. Never use them. After driving west past the time change I arrived at the Badlands and parked in the Castle trail parking lot to talk through my issues with hotels.com customer service for another twenty minutes until the problem was resolved. I cut up to the visitors center. They’ve renovated the place. Sean, do you remember last time we were there, they were working on the visitor’s center? I don’t remember entering four years ago, but I remember you and me hanging out there eight years back. The new space has a few dinosaur dioramas, an expanded gift shop, and a small theater that loops a pretty cool twenty minute Badlands film. Oh, and the bathrooms are spotless. Don’t underestimate the draw of spotless bathrooms in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, after checking out the film and cruising the gift shop (a cool fishing hat and a couple books…never quite sure what I should buy) I returned to the Castle Trail parking lot and started on the trail. The Castle Trail is described as “mostly moderate” but the first mile is the hardest. I lost the trail about a half mile in and had one of those “no way in holy fuck do they expect me to climb over all this shit” moments before I turned back and found the right pole. If you’ve never been to the Badlands, the trails are marked with poles hikers follow. So, in other words, you stand near one pole and look for the next to know which direction you should head next. So I lost one. Then I found it again. The Castle Trail’s first half mile features much jumping over crevices and climbing up inclines. After you get past the initial formations the trail levels off through grassland. I saw a big-eared deer and some huge rabbits. I felt a sense of “wow…I’m here” as I walked through the grasslands and thanked the present spirits for allowing me into their space. No one else was around. I didn’t see another human being for close to four hours. I looped over the Medicine Trail and sat near the sign marking the intersection of the Castle/Medicine/Saddle Trails and ate more cheese sandwiches. My legs were tired. I skipped the next Castle extension and looped around back on the return Castle trip, taking pictures all the way. Why was I so tired? I don’t know. Maybe the exhaustion was a letting go. I was so relieved to reach my goal of the Badlands that maybe my legs gave out. I felt myself saying goodbye. I’m not sure when I’ll return. I love the Badlands for reasons I can’t really articulate. The area is so sparse, so inhospitable, that I feel a sense of transience, a sense of how long the earth lasts and how little we do and how our dusty souls live near the point where the two meet.
After I reached the car I downed a diet coke and headed west. I passed Rapid City and headed north to Bear Butte, one of the holiest places in Native American theology. Sturgis, the motorcycle rally town nearby, is ugly as hell, and the prim woman at the tourist center seemed confused as to why I asked for Bear Butte directions. I drove through town, turned right, and drove seven miles or so, just past the “biggest biker bar in America” to the park’s entrance. I had no idea Bear Butte would be totally deserted. No one manned the park entrance’s hut so I drove through without paying and parked near the trailhead leading up the mountain. I took pictures of the prayer clothes lining the trees and walked partway up the path. The space is beautiful and I didn’t want to rush. I kneeled and prayed. I could feel how the space’s holiness. For what did I pray? I thanked whatever spirits were present on the mountain for my very life, for this American land, for the hands that move beneath the ground and keep the earth alive.
After retracing my path through Sturgis (and yelling at some woman who startled me at the gas station by trying to sell trinkets to people filling their tanks) I found my way back to Rapid City. I snagged a sub at a cool coffee shop, checked out some stores (nothing interesting), and hit the small hotel, where I apologized to the desk clerk for the hotels.com snafu. She was cool. This hotel, right on an awful hotel strip, was really four buildings in a row. I settled into my tiny room and decided to go out. Mt. Rushmore was too far away, and I wasn’t in the mood for the tourist thing, so I hit a local Borders (the Twilight guide I wanted to get M isn’t released until September) and cruised through the upscale mall before getting back in the car and hitting Starbucks for some iced tea. Then I settled into the hotel for the season finale of “Parks and Recreation”, some NBA playoffs, and reading until I fell asleep.
Day Three
I woke early, 2:30 Rapid City time, 3:30 Wisconsin time. After packing to Sportscenter I went for a run. Danielle, the desk clerk, told me to run up a steep hill, but the hill road only stretched about a half mile before dead-ending at a huge house. I probably set off the perimeter security system because I pretty much hit the driveway before I realized the road was private. Two deer also leaped from the trees and scared the living shit out of me. The run down was calmer. I ran a couple miles through the neighborhood across the street from the hotel, showered, and unsuccessfully tried to purchase two egg mcmuffins at the closed McDonalds on the way out of town. A billboard told me Wall Drugs opened at 7AM. Although I was early I though WD might have something cool for the boys. I cut back through the Badlands, took some pics at the freezing, windy dawn overlooks, and peed right out in the open. No one was around. Then I cut back through Wall, another depressing as hell town, and decided I didn’t want to wait the half hour for WD to open. Around noon I stopped for Subway. Krista Tippet talked about spirituality until I drew closer to Sioux Falls.
About fifteen miles west of Sioux Falls something in the Saturn popped and steam emerged from the hood. I pulled over and turned off the car. Now, after a meditative hiking session I was in the best mental frame possible for a car breakdown. Plus, I was alone, so I didn’t have to worry about the kids staying safe or the like. I could see an exit in the distance, perhaps a couple miles down, so I grabbed my backpack and started walking the side of I-90. Near the exit were a billboard for an RV repair shop and a seedy gas station/fireworks store. I called the RV place and asked if they knew anyone who would give me a tow and take a look at the car. The RV woman gave me a number to a repair shop. The guy at the repair shop said he was too busy and gave me the number of another repair shop. After some confusion on the car’s location this guy said he’d send a tow. I hustled back to the car (many dead things on the side of interstates) just in time for some huge, fat guy to get the car up on the flatbed tow truck. His name was Mike, a nice enough guy, and we talked about the small town through which we cut on the way to the repair shop. The owner of the repair shop, a younger guy who reminded me of my brother in law, turned the Saturn’s key and the entire fucking engine fell out. You could see pieces flying everywhere. He said he could get another engine in a week but I had accepted, the second he turned the key, that the Saturn had served its purpose. Thank you, beautiful machine, for thirteen years and 170,000 miles. I hope they treated you well when you got junked. I paid eighty bucks for the tow, took off the plates, and hit up Mike for a ride to the Sioux Falls airport. Thank you, people of Humbolt, South Dakota, for your kindness. Mike drove me in the owner’s truck to the airport and waited while I rented a Ford Focus for 200 bucks in order to drive the last eight hours to Milwaukee. Once I was on the road I called Corey, who offered to pick me up at the Milwaukee airport that night, and M, who laughed when I told her the story. The Focus was quite nice, really, and I hauled fucking ass through the rain. The hiking and car breakdown left me exhausted. Corey and I met at the airport. He drove me home, where I walked in the door near 10:30, inhaled some pizza, and collapsed.
Tomorrow…what I got from the trip…enough for now, don’t you think?
I promised a couple people I would get the South Dakota trip into text. Here we go.
Day One
Since I didn’t sleep until after midnight (S and I hit a Brew game) the night before, I skipped the gym, slept a little later, and hung out with the boys before heading west. N and I sat on the couch, chatting, once the Saturn was loaded. I said goodbye to M and the boys and headed out into the grey, misty morning. The first few hours were slow going, rain and construction, west to 90 and north to LaCrosse. I listened to Speaking of Faith and ate cheese sandwiches. In Minnesota the rain faded away and the speed limit increased to 70. Driving for nine, ten hours is boring, but Krista Tippet kept me focused and by late afternoon I entered South Dakota. The Saturn shook a little, and I thought something might have been wrong with the car but once I stopped I realized the wind was blowing as hard and cold as I had ever felt. Conversation would be impossible; this is the kind of blaring, unbalanced wind you see weather channel reporters braving near hurricanes. At least the skies were clear. I hit Chamberlain around dinner time, parked the car, and admitted to myself that I wouldn’t be running the neighborhood around the hotel as planned. The desk woman at the deserted Days Inn pointed me in the direction of the town for food. The hotel pool was waterless, so no swimming, either. Oh well. I snagged an omelet at a local diner after crossing the terrifying, river-spanning bridge connecting one part of Chamberlain with the other. The waiter was a very polite teenager who, when he wasn’t getting my order or food, returned to a corner table to chat with his friends. After paying for the surprisingly expensive (eight bucks) but serviceable omelet I returned to the wind, drove back to the hotel, and got online before reading, downing some melatonin, and falling asleep.
Day Two
I was up early but not in a particular hurry. The Badlands visitors center didn’t open until 8AM. Oh, I forgot to mention, the evening of Day One also featured a no holds barred battle with Hotels.com to change my Rapid City reservation. Fuck hotels.com. Never use them. After driving west past the time change I arrived at the Badlands and parked in the Castle trail parking lot to talk through my issues with hotels.com customer service for another twenty minutes until the problem was resolved. I cut up to the visitors center. They’ve renovated the place. Sean, do you remember last time we were there, they were working on the visitor’s center? I don’t remember entering four years ago, but I remember you and me hanging out there eight years back. The new space has a few dinosaur dioramas, an expanded gift shop, and a small theater that loops a pretty cool twenty minute Badlands film. Oh, and the bathrooms are spotless. Don’t underestimate the draw of spotless bathrooms in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, after checking out the film and cruising the gift shop (a cool fishing hat and a couple books…never quite sure what I should buy) I returned to the Castle Trail parking lot and started on the trail. The Castle Trail is described as “mostly moderate” but the first mile is the hardest. I lost the trail about a half mile in and had one of those “no way in holy fuck do they expect me to climb over all this shit” moments before I turned back and found the right pole. If you’ve never been to the Badlands, the trails are marked with poles hikers follow. So, in other words, you stand near one pole and look for the next to know which direction you should head next. So I lost one. Then I found it again. The Castle Trail’s first half mile features much jumping over crevices and climbing up inclines. After you get past the initial formations the trail levels off through grassland. I saw a big-eared deer and some huge rabbits. I felt a sense of “wow…I’m here” as I walked through the grasslands and thanked the present spirits for allowing me into their space. No one else was around. I didn’t see another human being for close to four hours. I looped over the Medicine Trail and sat near the sign marking the intersection of the Castle/Medicine/Saddle Trails and ate more cheese sandwiches. My legs were tired. I skipped the next Castle extension and looped around back on the return Castle trip, taking pictures all the way. Why was I so tired? I don’t know. Maybe the exhaustion was a letting go. I was so relieved to reach my goal of the Badlands that maybe my legs gave out. I felt myself saying goodbye. I’m not sure when I’ll return. I love the Badlands for reasons I can’t really articulate. The area is so sparse, so inhospitable, that I feel a sense of transience, a sense of how long the earth lasts and how little we do and how our dusty souls live near the point where the two meet.
After I reached the car I downed a diet coke and headed west. I passed Rapid City and headed north to Bear Butte, one of the holiest places in Native American theology. Sturgis, the motorcycle rally town nearby, is ugly as hell, and the prim woman at the tourist center seemed confused as to why I asked for Bear Butte directions. I drove through town, turned right, and drove seven miles or so, just past the “biggest biker bar in America” to the park’s entrance. I had no idea Bear Butte would be totally deserted. No one manned the park entrance’s hut so I drove through without paying and parked near the trailhead leading up the mountain. I took pictures of the prayer clothes lining the trees and walked partway up the path. The space is beautiful and I didn’t want to rush. I kneeled and prayed. I could feel how the space’s holiness. For what did I pray? I thanked whatever spirits were present on the mountain for my very life, for this American land, for the hands that move beneath the ground and keep the earth alive.
After retracing my path through Sturgis (and yelling at some woman who startled me at the gas station by trying to sell trinkets to people filling their tanks) I found my way back to Rapid City. I snagged a sub at a cool coffee shop, checked out some stores (nothing interesting), and hit the small hotel, where I apologized to the desk clerk for the hotels.com snafu. She was cool. This hotel, right on an awful hotel strip, was really four buildings in a row. I settled into my tiny room and decided to go out. Mt. Rushmore was too far away, and I wasn’t in the mood for the tourist thing, so I hit a local Borders (the Twilight guide I wanted to get M isn’t released until September) and cruised through the upscale mall before getting back in the car and hitting Starbucks for some iced tea. Then I settled into the hotel for the season finale of “Parks and Recreation”, some NBA playoffs, and reading until I fell asleep.
Day Three
I woke early, 2:30 Rapid City time, 3:30 Wisconsin time. After packing to Sportscenter I went for a run. Danielle, the desk clerk, told me to run up a steep hill, but the hill road only stretched about a half mile before dead-ending at a huge house. I probably set off the perimeter security system because I pretty much hit the driveway before I realized the road was private. Two deer also leaped from the trees and scared the living shit out of me. The run down was calmer. I ran a couple miles through the neighborhood across the street from the hotel, showered, and unsuccessfully tried to purchase two egg mcmuffins at the closed McDonalds on the way out of town. A billboard told me Wall Drugs opened at 7AM. Although I was early I though WD might have something cool for the boys. I cut back through the Badlands, took some pics at the freezing, windy dawn overlooks, and peed right out in the open. No one was around. Then I cut back through Wall, another depressing as hell town, and decided I didn’t want to wait the half hour for WD to open. Around noon I stopped for Subway. Krista Tippet talked about spirituality until I drew closer to Sioux Falls.
About fifteen miles west of Sioux Falls something in the Saturn popped and steam emerged from the hood. I pulled over and turned off the car. Now, after a meditative hiking session I was in the best mental frame possible for a car breakdown. Plus, I was alone, so I didn’t have to worry about the kids staying safe or the like. I could see an exit in the distance, perhaps a couple miles down, so I grabbed my backpack and started walking the side of I-90. Near the exit were a billboard for an RV repair shop and a seedy gas station/fireworks store. I called the RV place and asked if they knew anyone who would give me a tow and take a look at the car. The RV woman gave me a number to a repair shop. The guy at the repair shop said he was too busy and gave me the number of another repair shop. After some confusion on the car’s location this guy said he’d send a tow. I hustled back to the car (many dead things on the side of interstates) just in time for some huge, fat guy to get the car up on the flatbed tow truck. His name was Mike, a nice enough guy, and we talked about the small town through which we cut on the way to the repair shop. The owner of the repair shop, a younger guy who reminded me of my brother in law, turned the Saturn’s key and the entire fucking engine fell out. You could see pieces flying everywhere. He said he could get another engine in a week but I had accepted, the second he turned the key, that the Saturn had served its purpose. Thank you, beautiful machine, for thirteen years and 170,000 miles. I hope they treated you well when you got junked. I paid eighty bucks for the tow, took off the plates, and hit up Mike for a ride to the Sioux Falls airport. Thank you, people of Humbolt, South Dakota, for your kindness. Mike drove me in the owner’s truck to the airport and waited while I rented a Ford Focus for 200 bucks in order to drive the last eight hours to Milwaukee. Once I was on the road I called Corey, who offered to pick me up at the Milwaukee airport that night, and M, who laughed when I told her the story. The Focus was quite nice, really, and I hauled fucking ass through the rain. The hiking and car breakdown left me exhausted. Corey and I met at the airport. He drove me home, where I walked in the door near 10:30, inhaled some pizza, and collapsed.
Tomorrow…what I got from the trip…enough for now, don’t you think?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday night, nearing eight, one of those late school year nights when the kids are out in the neighborhood probably later than they should but the weather is so beautiful calling them inside for the night seems unfair. S and I are watching the Brewers (done 1-0 to the Astros). N survived his first t-ball practice and, had he time to play afterward, he probably would have been in a pretty good mood. I had it in my mind that I would wait until I wrote all about the SD trip before I posted on the blog but I probably won’t finish the long post until Friday. I want to write now.
The last few days have been decent. The SD trip calmed my soul. Where to start since then? Let’s go with Sunday. M and the boys went to church for a teacher appreciation gathering. I cleaned and started laundry. The day was still cool, way too cool for mid-May, so I left the windows closed and worked out on the elliptical while watching the Brew game. Man, I needed the sweat after Friday in the car (even though I ran Friday morning) and car-shopping Saturday. What else did I do? Read, play chess with the boys (I took all three to Target on a legos/chess set search), baseball on the front sidewalk, and catching up on television. Just what I needed.
After an hour of cardio Monday morning and some controversy over my decision to skip hoops, I drove into work and started setting up the new office. Although we’re in the basement I have small ground-level windows. I can’t stand overhead lights. Three low-illumination lamps, hanging under the cabinets, are enough for now. Most of the morning passed emptying boxes and organizing files. Terry and I did lunch in the cafeteria (remind me to skip the cafeteria in the summer, please) and I finished off most of the office before late afternoon visitors kept me busy until I left near four. After dinner I sat behind the fence for S’s first game. He did well. I listened to NPR and read The Jewish Messiah while avoiding other parents. Never am I more aware of my social ineptitude, combined with distaste for “parents of sports participants” culture, than on the side of a park district baseball game. Please leave me alone, people. I know you don’t want to talk with me. I don’t want to be rude, but ninety percent of the time the feeling is mutual. I’m not here to grandstand my testosterone, talk about hunting, or act like I give a shit about the score. Let me listen to NPR and lower my eyes to the page.
This morning I attended a long full-University meeting in which I had to thank, on the mic, an administrator for her efforts before she returned to faculty ranks. Once I finished my spiel I relaxed. Once the meeting ended I realized I had a couple hours to kill so I drove home and worked out to Sportscenter before returning for faculty senate. My friend Lance nominated me for faculty council president so I nominated him back. Heh. I’m not ready for that responsibility. I hope I didn’t sound like a jerk. Anyway, I cut out of the meeting at 3:15, stopped at Blockbuster, then hauled ass home to make sure T reached baseball practice on time. M took N to his first t-ball practice while I lifted weights and T and S spazzed out in the neighborhood.
And here I am, suddenly tired. I’m happy tonight. Calm. Hope you are too. Good night.
The last few days have been decent. The SD trip calmed my soul. Where to start since then? Let’s go with Sunday. M and the boys went to church for a teacher appreciation gathering. I cleaned and started laundry. The day was still cool, way too cool for mid-May, so I left the windows closed and worked out on the elliptical while watching the Brew game. Man, I needed the sweat after Friday in the car (even though I ran Friday morning) and car-shopping Saturday. What else did I do? Read, play chess with the boys (I took all three to Target on a legos/chess set search), baseball on the front sidewalk, and catching up on television. Just what I needed.
After an hour of cardio Monday morning and some controversy over my decision to skip hoops, I drove into work and started setting up the new office. Although we’re in the basement I have small ground-level windows. I can’t stand overhead lights. Three low-illumination lamps, hanging under the cabinets, are enough for now. Most of the morning passed emptying boxes and organizing files. Terry and I did lunch in the cafeteria (remind me to skip the cafeteria in the summer, please) and I finished off most of the office before late afternoon visitors kept me busy until I left near four. After dinner I sat behind the fence for S’s first game. He did well. I listened to NPR and read The Jewish Messiah while avoiding other parents. Never am I more aware of my social ineptitude, combined with distaste for “parents of sports participants” culture, than on the side of a park district baseball game. Please leave me alone, people. I know you don’t want to talk with me. I don’t want to be rude, but ninety percent of the time the feeling is mutual. I’m not here to grandstand my testosterone, talk about hunting, or act like I give a shit about the score. Let me listen to NPR and lower my eyes to the page.
This morning I attended a long full-University meeting in which I had to thank, on the mic, an administrator for her efforts before she returned to faculty ranks. Once I finished my spiel I relaxed. Once the meeting ended I realized I had a couple hours to kill so I drove home and worked out to Sportscenter before returning for faculty senate. My friend Lance nominated me for faculty council president so I nominated him back. Heh. I’m not ready for that responsibility. I hope I didn’t sound like a jerk. Anyway, I cut out of the meeting at 3:15, stopped at Blockbuster, then hauled ass home to make sure T reached baseball practice on time. M took N to his first t-ball practice while I lifted weights and T and S spazzed out in the neighborhood.
And here I am, suddenly tired. I’m happy tonight. Calm. Hope you are too. Good night.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Some Badlands pics from earlier today...full post later...
1. Prayer cloths at Bear Butte.
2. and 3. A couple of black and white pics I took on the Castle/Medicine Trail loop.
4. A big-eared deer that stood and watched me for a while on the trail.
5. Eating lunch at the halfway point of a three hour hike over rough ground.
More later!
1. Prayer cloths at Bear Butte.
2. and 3. A couple of black and white pics I took on the Castle/Medicine Trail loop.
4. A big-eared deer that stood and watched me for a while on the trail.
5. Eating lunch at the halfway point of a three hour hike over rough ground.
More later!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
I’m up, before two, Monday morning. I fell asleep early, by eight, so I’m not entirely surprised. I’m struggling lately. This weekend passed like a holding pattern before a week I didn’t particularly want to start. I hate those weekends.
What did I do Sunday? S and I rose early, and the rest of the boys followed not long after. N and I sneaked to the donut shop for mother’s day donuts. I wrote an Eleanor Rigby review and continued in The Jewish Messiah. I cleaned the kitchen. Oh, T, S, and I played baseball in the back field. Later the three of us also hit Pick and Save (change machine), Target (vitamins, clocks), and Hobby Town (model car, ancient Roman armymen). N neither wanted to play baseball with us nor come out to the stores. He just wanted to stay home and play with his action figures, video games, etc. Sometimes he worries me. What am I supposed to learn from N, and how can I help him survive in the world? He’s so much like me sometimes he’s crazy, and at the risk of sounding overtly dramatic, I wouldn’t wish my adolescence on anyone. He needs to find what makes him happy in the world. So do I, I guess.
Later I half-watched the Cubs game, read, played a little football, made pasta for dinner, and read some more. You know what’s throwing me off? I know I’m lifting a lot and doing the protein powder, but my weight is still increasing more than I expect. Is that supposed to happen? I have no idea. My clothes still fit, though, and my upper body is definitely stronger, so I’m going to stay on the program, if you will, for now. I guess if you take protein powder for your muscles your weight is supposed to rise, right? I don’t fucking know.
I’m struggling. God, please make sure my youngest son doesn’t have to go through what I went through. I know I can’t protect him all the time, but I get the feeling he and I are meant to support each other and learn from each other in some way. He’s a beautiful kid, and he’s doing ok, but sometimes he reminds me of me in ways that scare me down to the very core, that scare me in ways that send me to the journal at 2AM on Monday mornings.
The weather also bothers me. Fifty and windy is too cold to do much outside. I could use a week of baking temperatures. And I hate hot weather.
School visits this morning, then a student lunch, then the semester’s last class. The end of the semester’s garbage needs taking away. Have a good day.
What did I do Sunday? S and I rose early, and the rest of the boys followed not long after. N and I sneaked to the donut shop for mother’s day donuts. I wrote an Eleanor Rigby review and continued in The Jewish Messiah. I cleaned the kitchen. Oh, T, S, and I played baseball in the back field. Later the three of us also hit Pick and Save (change machine), Target (vitamins, clocks), and Hobby Town (model car, ancient Roman armymen). N neither wanted to play baseball with us nor come out to the stores. He just wanted to stay home and play with his action figures, video games, etc. Sometimes he worries me. What am I supposed to learn from N, and how can I help him survive in the world? He’s so much like me sometimes he’s crazy, and at the risk of sounding overtly dramatic, I wouldn’t wish my adolescence on anyone. He needs to find what makes him happy in the world. So do I, I guess.
Later I half-watched the Cubs game, read, played a little football, made pasta for dinner, and read some more. You know what’s throwing me off? I know I’m lifting a lot and doing the protein powder, but my weight is still increasing more than I expect. Is that supposed to happen? I have no idea. My clothes still fit, though, and my upper body is definitely stronger, so I’m going to stay on the program, if you will, for now. I guess if you take protein powder for your muscles your weight is supposed to rise, right? I don’t fucking know.
I’m struggling. God, please make sure my youngest son doesn’t have to go through what I went through. I know I can’t protect him all the time, but I get the feeling he and I are meant to support each other and learn from each other in some way. He’s a beautiful kid, and he’s doing ok, but sometimes he reminds me of me in ways that scare me down to the very core, that scare me in ways that send me to the journal at 2AM on Monday mornings.
The weather also bothers me. Fifty and windy is too cold to do much outside. I could use a week of baking temperatures. And I hate hot weather.
School visits this morning, then a student lunch, then the semester’s last class. The end of the semester’s garbage needs taking away. Have a good day.
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