And good morning, everyone. It’s a little after four, when I usually rise, but I’ve been up since about 2:45. If I wake after 2:30 I’m dangerously close to the point of no return. Oh well. I’ll survive.

I think stress drove this bout of comparative insomnia. Yesterday was a long, physically painful day of boring meetings. The specter of a position change at work, one that might be a lose/lose for everyone involved, threatens. What can I learn from this? First, I don’t want to fall into unproductive behavioral patterns. I know what the panic attacks are like. I know how the long hours of soul-deadening conflict impact my family, and I won’t let that happen again. I’m grinding my teeth. I’m not sleeping. These are bad signs. This will be a test. This last few years have been a good run.

At least this weekend looks wide open. Maybe I’ll have a beer tonight. Last night Dawn, Mike and I sat at Mike’s picnic table and talked while the neighborhood kids played yard to yard. I’m back in a workout routine but damn, this morning my legs hurt, even after coffee. If I can pull off thirty on the elliptical and basketball this morning, then another thirty and weights tomorrow, then maybe I’ll take Sunday off. No, no, not Sunday, because Memorial Day weekend messed up my schedule. Monday. We’ll see.

So what did I get out of the badlands trip? Bullet points:

• The trip was transitional in that I think I was both saying goodbye to some negative skin, if you will, and gearing up for the next challenges.
• I was put in a solo survival position, with the car, and I responded well. That’s important.
• I reconnected with the holy.

I’m going to leave it as that for now. I don’t know I have a good answer just yet.

Have a good Friday.