Rainy Saturday morning, 8:27AM. Well, the rain has stopped, after falling all night, and today could be gross and sticky and overwhelmed by mosquitoes. I think I’ll stay inside except for farmers market and coffee shop jaunts. Yes, I can feel mosquitoes even on the screened front porch. Maybe I’m hallucinating.

This was a pretty good week. Work is discombobulated, as we won’t have office access for at least two weeks, but I camped out in the mostly deserted basement computer lab and wrote a decent first draft of the program annual report. What did I do besides that? Well, I finished As I Lay Dying, dipped into Klosterman and Our Band Could Be Your Life while waiting for the new Bourdain to arrived from the library reserve list, and watched Hot Tub Time Machine. Oh, T’s 12th birthday passed, so I made him a cake and took him Ipod shopping despite his very questionable musical tastes. I worked out pretty hard, to the point where my legs are definitely feeling the effects today and I shouldn’t do cardio. I could lift, though, as I only lifted twice already this week. We’ll see.

I also had a pretty good session with my therapist, who is emphasizing that need to rediscover what makes me happy. Sure, the medication helps, but I also must transcend the idea that doing what I want to do is somehow wrong. So, for example, yesterday, while M and the boys were at the pool with friends I drove down again to the art museum and walked through the galleries. God, I love the MAM self-taught/folk art collection. And I was able to sit quietly in front of a Rothko for a good ten minutes. Now that’s a spiritual experience. Later I met M and the boys at the Lion’s Den but holy bejesus, the mosquitoes were killer. Anyway, I’m trying to get out of the house, even if only to Alterra’s or Smith Brothers, to break some patterns. Strength and energy comes from leaving the house.

I’m also working on a set of poems and photographs tentatively called Crazyman. My brother may visit mid-September, and I’d like to finish and print them up by then, so the artificial deadline might do me well.

Ok, off with S to the farmers market soon. Have a lovely weekend.