You know, I fucking hate high summer. This morning the temps are down in the low sixties for the first time in weeks, and I couldn’t be happier. Um, with the weather, at least.

So I haven’t written in forever. Quick summary:

• M and the boys were out east for two weeks at her mom’s wedding. I painted the bathroom, grew desperately ill, recovered, and watched the entire second season of True Blood.
• My office flooded this past week and I’m not sure when/where I’m supposed to work. On the other hand, I will be using “I lost it in the flood” as my go-to excuse for the next eighteen months, minimum.
• The dogs and I walked a lot up and down Port’s hills.
• S’s team is playing in today’s little league championship.
• We hit the art museum with the boys. Check facebook for pictures. We hit Kopp’s, too, and the boys are hooked.
• I’ve been able to hang out with each boy separately lately. That’s been fun. T helped me clean out my office, S and I hit the farmer’s market, and N tried to teach me how to play Wii’s Super Smash Brothers. He said, “I’m going to dominate you” and he did. I suck.
• I read a lot in the air conditioning. I finished Cheesemonger and Vernon God Little.

I’m struggling with the sense that, biologically, neurologically, I am incapable of recapturing a sense of happiness. I apologize for the dramatic statement. But every now and then I get…happy…I guess, and I remember what it’s like. And then I remember I haven’t felt that way in a long time. But otherwise I’m doing ok, lifting, trying to breathe, etc. I’m not meditating as much as I should, however. Maybe I’ll meditate now. Good morning. I can hear the train in the distance. Pete’s sleeping on his blanket in the corner. I need a shower.