Shadow on the couch...

Huh. I had forgotten I had written early this morning. I could be out eating dinner with last year’s Assisi group but I decided to forego that invitation. What a surprise, eh? Instead I took all the crap off of the front and sides of the refrigerator, cleaned the surfaces, and hanged up a few of the boys’ art projects. The kitchen looks immeasurably better without the clutter. Why didn’t I do this years ago?

So I caught up on working out and my mood has improved but I think our family spent a bit too much time together lately. They’re ready for tomorrow’s school. M slept a little later than usual, as S was up late last night, so the boys and I hung out until she woke. I worked out on the elliptical from 7:45 until 8:15 and thought I’d take T and S to church while M and N stayed home. M said she’d rather take them to Target for Halloween costumes. Worked for me. Instead of church I cleaned most of the first floor (how did it get so messy so quickly?) and burned CDs for friends. M called, once they were finished shopping, and picked me up before we all headed to the new playground on the bluff. The space is pretty cool and we ran into a couple of friends right off the bat. This guy I know through the boys filled me in on a shitload of baseball coach gossip (yes, such a thing exists) until we decided to head home. M left for work not long after so I let the boys play Wii while I lifted and knocked out another thirty minutes on the elliptical. Once finished I showered and kicked the boys off electronic devices. They got involved in a beanie baby war while I read the Sunday paper. M arrived home near three, when T and I drove over to Best Buy (ran into a former student, I was glad to see he was doing well because he was kind of nuts when I knew him), Michaels (grand opening) and Dick’s (gleaming but still too expensive). Later I ate a salad and fake chicken nuggets for dinner and finished Crosley’s “I Was Told There’d Be Cake” (full review on GR tomorrow). The refrigerator surfaces cleaned I sat on the porch for a while with Shadow then came inside to write.

Not a bad Sunday, I guess, but I’m still a bit hyper. Not sure why. My knee feels better. Tomorrow morning I’ll run. Good night.

Did I mention I haven’t slept without nightmares in recent memory? Not sure why. More later.

Why good morning, everyone. A little past seven here. The boys are on the couch, alternating between the television and video games. All three are under the same cover. While the weather is supposed to hit eighty today, and I don’t mind summer’s last gasp, the air is still a bit cold. I’m not sure what we’re doing today, but I should get out of the house and into the sun.

Yesterday was a weird day. N woke me at 4 and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Normally rising that early wouldn’t throw me much but my sleep patterns have been slightly off anyway so I felt discombobulated and vaguely ill most of Saturday. N barfed a couple times around sunrise so we decided to take Saturday easy. S and I drove to the West Bend farmer’s market (only a few weeks left) and picked up peppers and cheese. S also bought a cookie shaped like construction equipment. On a lark we bought Italian soda syrup at the small West Bend coffee shop and stopped for club soda the creepy rural Piggly Wiggly we pass on the way home. Later I found out the coffee shop marked up the syrup from 7 bucks (what you pay on the net) to 15. Man, I understand that making money in the coffee shop business is hard, but don’t rip me off. Anyway, later N and I hung out while M, T, and S took in the opening of the new local playground. I didn’t work out all day and felt all weird. Bleh. I read alternated between reading Sloane Crosby and cruising the net. Later I finished rearranging the living/dining room and…well, that was pretty much it. Today could go either way, but I’m determined to render today positive. I better start now. Might go for a run after M wakes. Good day.

I’m sitting in the rocking chair in the newly revised living room. Yes, I know we moved furniture a few weeks back I made a few minor adjustments today after M mentioned a dislike for the couch in the middle of the room. I pushed the couch against the south wall, moved the keyboard to the east wall, and tilted the television so people on the couch could see the screen (although the unit looks somewhat precarious while tilted, I must admit). The tall plant is also now in the dining room. M likes the set up but thinks we should switch the keyboard and the elliptical. If the elliptical fits she may be right. We’ll see.

Anyway, I’m listening to Labradford’s Me Media Naranja while I write. Goddamn, this is a great record. James and Sean, this disc is coming your way soon.

So today was pretty good. I woke later than usual, past six, but M said I needed the sleep and she’s probably right. After a quick shower I drove into work an hour before the first meeting. P came upstairs, since I left a note taunting him on his door, and we chatted for a while. I didn’t get much done, but I had my laptop with me, so I took my laptop to the first meeting and knocked out my load sheets while people were talking about things of which I had already heard. Later, while going through graduate surveys, a female colleague tried to jog my memory about a student by saying the student was “stacked”. Sometimes I really like my job. Anyway, after the meeting was over I decided to cut out early on a beautiful day. After a quick and somewhat meager Costco visit I returned home and ate eggs for lunch. I answered some hanging emails before lifting weights and knocking an hour out on the elliptical. Yes, I worked out for about an hour and a half. And it felt normal. Interesting. The boys arrived from school not long after I showered and moved the furniture around. Apparently N started out badly this morning, saying he didn’t want to go to school, but he did well the rest of the afternoon. I snagged a pizza from Papa Murphy’s (the lady in front of me drove me fucking nuts…decide what you want, crazy lady) while the boys watched television. After eating we played football until I got sick of the kids bitching about 1) each other, and 2) my throws. I took a bath and finished Housekeeping (review on GR soon) before M and I watched the end of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” I probably should go upstairs and say good night to the boys but they’re up late and I’m worried I’ll distract them.

So this morning I informally polled my colleagues and discovered perhaps a third of them are attending tomorrow’s inauguration. I thought we had to go! Well, I thought we unofficially had to go. I know it’s not in our contract. In fact, the U email on it was pretty sneaky…one of those “please tell us if you’re not coming” emails. I’m not stupid…I’m not replying to that sucker. I’ll take my chances, if I’m not attending, on their failing to notice my lack of presence. Anyway, I’m having second thoughts on attending now. But I have second thoughts on attending every big university event. I honestly think I have some sort of social disorder related to formal university gatherings. Well, the disorder transcends university gatherings. I’ve always hated weddings, dances, any event where I had to dress up and couldn’t hide in a darkened stairwell or abandoned coatroom. T at work said I was going to have to pick some things and attend them, if I expected to advance, but I’m worried that advancing would mean I have to attend more of those events. Could I get a psychiatrist to sign off on my disorder and never attend another again? Can that be done?

Tomorrow I want to hit the West Bend Farmer’s Market. I think we’re down to three farmer’s market weekends. I’ll miss them when they’re gone. T has been asking to visit the Kettle Moraine Woods but he may renege. I have to cut the grass. Corey at work said he might want to hang out if we skip the ceremony. We’ll see. Good night.

I’m tired, already, and I think I’ll sleep on the couch. The new humidifier will provide enough white noise for me to sleep.

Today was a good day. I woke a little later than usual and decided to start with lifting rather than the elliptical. After breakfast and a shower I hung out with M and the boys until everyone left. The day’s schedule bounced around in my head but I decided to hit the library, Kohls, and Costco before settling into work. Since I had time to kill I cleaned most of the messy first floor before leaving. I picked up three books on reserve at the library first, then scoured Kohls’ racks in part because they had a lot on sale and in part because Costco didn’t open until ten. I walked around for a while but decided only on a light long-sleeved pullover. I have four or five now but this one, sort of an off white with brown piping, is probably my favorite. Why is everything at Kohls long-sleeved? Is that an autumn thing? Maybe I should go to another store. After Kohls I stopped at the new Dick’s Sporting Goods. God, that store gleams, gleams I tell you, but in contrast to my earlier hour absolutely nothing was on sale, although some of the running clothes looked very cool. Costco was pretty much empty when I entered, and I didn’t need much, so I cruised through the aisles, reveling in the Costco air conditioning hum, before returning home. After lunch (eggs) I worked on a new syllabus for a solid two hours. I think the revision is coming along and usually I enjoy the work. Still, I’m going to need to involve others soon because, 1) I can’t fucking do all the work myself, and 2) I shouldn’t do all the work myself. The program will be better as a team effort, although I can’t say I trust the entire team just yet. But I trust most of them, which is more than I can say for the team a couple years back. Once I felt burned out with the syllabus, I worked out for a solid hour on the elliptical while watching a season two episode of “House”. This was my first longer continuous session on the new machine. I think the resistance is a little tighter, in a good way, and I was covered in sweat by the time I finished. My knee held up pretty well, just a little pain near the end, but I couldn’t complain much. After 125 crunches and a shower I cleaned the kitchen and headed over to the boys’ school for pickup. I chatted with a few parents in the lobby, including punk rock Brian, before dismissal. After we arrived home I threw a pizza in the oven and let M, who wasn’t feeling well, crash on the couch. The boys ate pizza, apples, and apple juice before T, S and I drove over to the Y for S’s football practice. Dan and I talked on the phone between T and I’s informal football sessions.

The journal sounds more like a blow by blow diary today. Even more than usual.

I’m about 160 pages into “Housekeeping”. I’m liking the book but I sort of want it to be over. Reading this novel wears me out.

Good night…maybe I’ll dress up for work tomorrow.

My favorite library chair...

Wasn’t I on a plane to Assisi this time last year? I think so. While I would love to return someday I’m happy to be on the rocking chair, under the full spectrum lamp, 4:44AM, Wisconsin. Good morning, Monday. Today is the kind of day on which I wish I could get a good seat on the CTA and read on my way to work. But I drive, so I can’t read, but at least I can listen to NPR. I’ll probably work out soon, sneaking upstairs for my clothes, careful to avoid waking anyone while I feel around in the dark for my jock clothes. Then I’ll knock out thirty minutes on the elliptical to the Sunday football highlights on Sportscenter. Like I said, good morning.

What did I do yesterday? I slept a little later, until close to eight, since I was up past midnight watching the Cubs lose (yay!) and re-reading Azerad’s chapter on Big Black. T apparently barfed in the sink at some point in the morning, earning both of us a free pass from church (double yay!), so he played Civ 4 on the computer while I worked out and cleaned the first floor. At noon both the Brewers and the Packers were on television. I watched the start of both games but grew bored and decided, after one of M’s friend’s arrived, to cut over to the library to start Housekeeping. The library’s lights were off by accident, leaving the natural grey illumination to bathe the space. I sat in my favorite chair (I’m going to post a picture soon) and delved into the wonderful book, just what I needed on an autumn afternoon. One of the librarians eventually turned on the lights. I guess I didn’t mind. After an hour I slipped out and drove home. M’s friend was still visiting so I attempted a run but discovered after reaching the bottom of the bike path that perhaps my knees are not made of titanium and perhaps I should think twice about running when hurt. I walked home, caught up on the net, and drew with N for a while. Later I lifted weights and hung out with the boys while M planned for the week. I also drank tea and read a bit more of Housekeeping before falling asleep on the couch. Oh, I thought my mp3 player was dead but in the middle of the night I remember the reset function and the device seems to be functioning now. Whew.

I’m not sure if I’m driving into the office today or not. I have to grade papers. Ooh, my laptop’s battery is almost cashed. Better wrap this up. Have a good day.

I’m watching the Brewers playoff game as I write. The Brew are up 2-0 in an elimination game. I’m kind of wired…probably too much diet coke today. A special on Assisi starts in fifteen minutes. I stumbled on the listing while cruising through the channels looking for something to watch before the game started. I guess I’m in sort of a wired, bad mood tonight…not sure why. I think I’ve been inside too much. Maybe I’ll hit Borders later.

The last few days have been fine. Well, Thursday night work issues emerged but instead of returning home and eating seven quesadillas I decided to go for my second run of the day. Although the run both relaxed and energized me my right knee began to throb by the third mile. I decided to skip the run Friday morning and drove into work instead. After leading an excellent meeting I decided to blow off an afternoon meeting and head home to clean. I stopped at Costco and picked up some food (falafel!) and a new humidifier. I lifted, cleaned (kitchen was a disaster), and waited for the new elliptical to arrived. The delivery showed just early enough for us to make the high school homecoming parade. There isn’t much to see, just high school kids walking in the middle of the street, but the boys had fun anyway. After we returned home M took S and N to the homecoming carnival while T played next door. I took the empty house opportunity to watch the first half of “Iron Man”. S, after arriving home, asked to hit the football game. We drove over for the first half. I’ll write more about the homecoming game tomorrow…I’ve discovered there are certain types you see at every high school football game, and I need to get my thoughts on paper. Anyway, I fell asleep on the couch while reading Azerad’s chapter on Husker Du. I haven’t been able to get into new books lately. I’m in a rut.

This morning I woke, tried to run, and decided within a quarter mile that running on a bad knee would be a bad decision. The cold weather didn’t help. When I returned home I started building the new elliptical but decided I needed new tools in order to do a good job. Tools are a regular point of contention between M and myself. I have shitty tools while my neighbors have the fucking Home Depot in their garage. M also buys the cheapest tools available. As we have a little more cash lately I drove to the hardware store and dropped 100 bucks on different types of wrenches and a red toolbox. I want to be able to find all my tools without a forty minute search. Anyway, I put together the first half of the elliptical but, because I promised the boys I would play football with them at N’s soccer practice, I left everything set up in the dining room and drove over to the Y. A few of the soccer coaches didn’t show. The kids were all waiting in long lines to kick. N kicked once, got bored, and started playing soccer with his brothers at another goal. I was fine with that decision. After practice I finished building the elliptical with minimal difficulty. M thinks I can’t build anything, but I did ok with this project. So far. After some falafel and the rest of Iron Man (good not great) I tested out the new machine. I had to pause the machine twice to tighten a couple bolts but otherwise the workout went well. My right knee hurt, even with the reduced pressure of the elliptical, but I survived and I was glad for the exercise. What did I do for the rest of the afternoon? I’m not sure. I suppose I sat around and acted bitchy. Oh well. Maybe I’ll get out of the house later.

I’m in the rocking chair, hopefully looking forward to a long, slow evening and an early bed. This morning I woke a little later than usual, just before six, but because today is Wednesday and I work from home I could slack a bit. Although I didn’t feel particularly up for the exercise I snuck out of the house at 6:30 and hit the pavement for a run. I used the google pedometer site and decided that my route is probably close to four and a half miles. After yesterday’s day off I felt strong, only stopping to walk through a couple steep inclines, and knocked out the stretch in about 50 minutes. That’s not tearing up the course, obviously, but that’s pretty good for me. Three deer crossed in front of the police station as I ran. Very cool.

After I returned home I showered quickly, ate breakfast, and took T and S to school. I hit Kohls for Brewers t-shirts. How often do the Brewers make the playoffs, you know? I found some cool shirts, on sale, for both the boys and myself (M didn’t want one) then headed home. Although I had a hard time getting started I managed to grade about twenty-five papers, work out, do a couple loads of laundry, and otherwise stay more or less focused. Maybe tonight I’ll drag T to the library. I could use some time in the corner chair. More later. Good night.

I’m in the local coffee shop, just after 8AM, waiting for my iced tea and adding the last journal entry of the month. I’m trying to breathe slowly in anticipation of a long day. Last night I wasn’t feeling well and fell asleep by eight-thirty. I slept until six-thirty. Normally failing to work out on a Tuesday morning is a very bad idea, leading me to bounce off my office walls, but I’ve put together a long stretch without a day off and I don’t want to get sick. I feel the onset of a light grade fever so I’ll take today easy. I’m just going to sit here, write, maybe read a little, breathe deeply, and wait until 8:45AM or so to head south for my 9:30AM class.

So what did I do yesterday? Let me think. I ran early, 5:30 to 6:30, beautiful morning and not a bad run. I hit some traffic on the commute but still reached work by 8. Within an hour I found out a two hour meeting was cancelled and I decided to use the time to plan my ass off. I think I’m set for the next two weeks, three, really, as I’m giving the students a planning day on the 14th. Rock and roll. I left work a little after two, stopped at Borders (couldn’t find anything I wanted that I couldn’t get from the library), then sat in the lobby of the boy’s school and read until the bell rang. By the way, “The Drnnkard’s Walk” is due back at the library tomorrow. Boogers. I’m only halfway done, but I can’t renew because there’s a waiting list. Guess I’ll sign up on the list again. Anyway, the boys and I hung out at home while M attended an after school meeting. I sat on the couch and channel-surfed from the White Sox game to the Superfriends (for N) and ate eggs for dinner. Later I tried to read some collection of essays called “Not That You Asked” but I wasn’t that into them and fell asleep. And there you go.

Ok, I’m going to stop staring at the screen and start staring out the window. September is almost over. The temps won’t reach fifty today. I love Port in the fall.

I’m in the newly placed rocking chair, in the corner near the doorway between the kitchen and the (now) living room, wondering if this chair is properly placed. Honestly, I think I like the other set up better, but T wanted to move around the furniture and I can live with this setup.

So what did I do today? Well, apparently S spent the night projectile vomiting. I missed the projectile vomit extravaganza because Shadow and I slept on the front porch. M looked like shit this morning, like she hardly slept, but she said I should drive down to Chicago for Milo’s christening and I sure as hell wasn’t planning on missing it. I skipped running to let my legs recover a bit and jumped in the car near 8AM for the ride south. Light traffic rendered the ride pretty easy, which is fortunate, as the Saturn overheats at the first sign of a stoplight. I arrived at the church just after ten, when Melissa said I should arrive, and I was the first one present. Churches are cool when empty, like Emerson said, so I settled into a rocking chair and surveyed my surroundings. The sanctuary was smaller than expected (James said 125 people fit on the main floor with more in the balcony) with a high vaulted ceiling. Darker spots along the arch’s curves evidenced water damage. Anne’s husband (Mike?) confirmed that the roof sucks and the church is hitting up parishioners for donations to fix the problem. Old churches are budget nightmares but they’re worth the trouble, in my eyes, anyway. Other than the usual stained glass the church included a curious clipper ship above a doorway. James said it had something to do with the Swedes and spiritual journeys. Good cover, sir. Anyway, we settled into our pews and the ceremony began. Sean sat next to me. I was glad he showed up. After a fairly long sermon (Lutheran services are longer than expected, a little more than 90 minutes, all told) Anne, Becky and I stood up for the godparent ceremony. Yes, a Jew, a Lutheran, and a Unitarian Universalist. Sounds like a joke, eh? Anyway, Anne and Becky BAWLED right as the ceremony started. What the hell? I was not ready for the tear deluge. I don’t think the priest was, either, but he got started with the ceremony and I held up the bulletin so we could read our lines per instructions as Lutherans For A Day. The ceremony itself was beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Later Milo cried some so James took him in the back and seat on the rocking chair in the lobby. James, you probably didn’t realize this, but we could see you back there and you seemed totally peaceful with Milo. That’s what it’s about, my friend.

Three things about today’s ceremony:

1. They had a baseball team’s worth of clergy up on the altar. I needed a lineup card.
2. A couple cute girls in black with the priestly collar sat to our right. They kept glancing in our direction. Now, I know they were glancing in our direction due to the christening, but I tried to tell Sean they were looking at him and he should hit on one later. To his credit he responded by saying, “I could be saved both during the day and at night.” Well played, sir.
3. I love the candle smell. The candle smell never gets old.

After the ceremony I couldn’t get a hold of M. I wanted to hit the lunch but I couldn’t leave M alone at home. James, if you’re reading this, don’t think I was blowing you off. I was worried the entire house was sick. We’re going to come down to see you soon. I also forgot to give you Milo’s presents. Shit. I’ll get them in the mail tomorrow. Anyway, I hauled ass north and, except for a quick Best Buy stop (video games are always good with sick kids…I remember when S broke his hip he played gameboy in the hospital two days running), I reached home without incident. S had rallied some but I could tell M was tired. I set her up on the television with Veronica Mars, got the boys started on the latest DS game, and snuck out for a quick run/walk. My legs felt stronger but I’m always a wuss during afternoon runs. When I returned home we ate a quick dinner. The boys played on the front porch with their action figures while I lifted weights. I suppose days like today separate those who see benefits from working out and those who don’t. Even so, I don’t think I want to run outside forever. An elliptical/running mix would work.

James and Melissa, I’m sorry I missed the lunch. More later.

T and I are watching “Eragon” while S and N are at separate birthday parties. M’s with N at his party. I hope he’s doing well. T’s kind of excited, I think, to have his brothers off at parties so he can have the house on his own. Shadow’s sleeping next to him on the couch. They look calm, like they belong together.

So what did I do this week? First off, the weather was hot, near eighty, way too hot for late September in Wisconsin. Today I have all the windows open again. The temps are supposed to drop early next week, I believe, and I can’t wait. We could use some cool autumn weather. I could never live somewhere without real seasons. Anyway, I was busy at work, I suppose. On Tuesday I took the morning class to an inner city Milwaukee school. The building’s energy was palpable and the students later reported the experience worthwhile. I taught the Franciscan material in Cathy’s class later in the day. Oh, did I forget to mention Tuesday was my birthday? People at work were quite nice about the birthday thing. Wednesday I stayed home and met with the elliptical repair guys. Apparently the metal frame is cracked but the warranty still holds so the elliptical company should replace the machine soon. In the interim I’ve been running/walking outside. What did I do the rest of Friday? I graded a few papers, answered email, phone conferences, the usual. Thursday was busy at work, including a long, boring afternoon meeting followed by a solid run. Yesterday I hit the office in the morning but got very little down because people kept stopping by for visits. I don’t mind visitors, I suppose, and I managed to finish off the papers in the afternoon. Later I stopped at Costco and Kohls on the way home. We watched Speed Racer (very long but kind of interesting) and I fell asleep on the front porch with the MP3 player. This morning T, S, and I hit the (smaller, local) farmers market for a harvest festival. The festival was a bust, honestly, but we managed to get iced tea and Italian sodas from the coffee shop, so the morning wasn’t an entire wash. After lunch I went on a massive cleaning jag, working through the kitchen, dining room, living room, front porch, and my car. I’m ready to take it easy except for maybe another run in a couple hours.

I’ve been running twice a day, by the way. Or running and walking, I should say, if I’m going to be honest. I run a few miles and walk a bit before running again. My knees and lungs are holding up fine, but my shoulder hurts off and on. I hope the elliptical is replaced soon, although I might alternate running and the elliptical even after the machine is replaced.

Ok, that’s it for now. I’m distracted by the film. More later.

I’m marooned on the bed in the upstairs bedroom. M and T are out somewhere, S and N are playing downstairs. My back hurts like a motherfucker. This afternoon the shaky elliptical (I had a feeling something was wrong with the device) jumped its belt momentarily and eliminated all resistance. In turn I jerked my back somehow and it hurts worse than ever. Shitters. I thought about going for a run tonight but I think I’ll skip. I usually prefer the elliptical instead of running, because of the knee factor, but I’m curious as to how running might feel now that I’m down close to thirty pounds. Maybe I’ll find out tomorrow. I’m worried because I don’t want to lose too much of my health rhythm. Plus if I don’t work out in the morning I’ll bounce off the walls.

Today was decent if uneventful. The floor was more or less deserted this morning so, except for a group of students pissed about an instructor, a meeting with a student and instructor about absences, and an interview with a cool new student (I lent her my Redon book, she better bring it back) the office was mine. By noon I had taken care of a slew of small tasks and prepared for Thursday’s class. By one I was cashed so I left, stopped at Costco, and worked out until the aforementioned back issue.

More later. I was thinking before that over the last few years I’ve had more than my share of days when I crawled into bed at 7PM. Tonight’s a bit of a rarity. I hope that’s a sign of health. Good night.

I’m on the front porch, a little after 8, the skies grey and cloudy but no rain forecast. When will fall arrive? I want autumn. Enough of this 70 degrees crap. The boys should be asleep. They’re wired, in part because the older two watched the first quarter of the Pack/Cowboys game with me. By the way, if the Cowboys win I’ve pretty much got the football pool locked for the week. Go ‘Boys!

Today was ok. I felt like I was ragging at the kids for the 4,000 stupid little things they did, whether they were grabbing handfuls of cereal straight from the box or fighting on the porch when I was trying to work out. Frustrating. M was at her classroom most of the morning, getting ready for the week, while the boys and I hung out at home. Later T and I hit the library, where I picked up and read Thurber’s excellent “13 Clocks”. Later I made dinner (some new funky pasta) and walked to the secret spot with Shadow while T skateboarded next to me. That was fun. I thought I was kind of wired myself but I’m feeling some pleasant exhaustion headed my way. Good night.

Man, did a week pass without a journal entry? How did that happen? Let us count the ways. Ok, Monday through Wednesday evening either T or S had football practice or a game. What about Thursday? I can’t remember Thursday. I think I arrived home later than usual. Last night I watched movies (Belle De Jour and Persopolis, both excellent). So there you go.

I guess this week has been fine. Working at home has been less working and more hanging out at home. I’m trying to learn to pace myself so I don’t collapse on my work at home days. Fifteen years of hell on wheels teaching has worn me down. I’m not slacking on purpose. In fact slacking on purpose would probably do me well. Last night, when I watched those films (primarily because I wanted to get them in the mail before my netflix allotment expired) I felt decadent but happy to crash on the couch with my eyes on the screen. Maybe I need to crash on the couch more often.

So what happened this week worth noting?

• I finished both “Bridge of Sighs” and “Downtown Owl”.
• T played well in his first football game of the year.
• My weight was down as much as thirty pounds from my Memorial Day weight. The “number” is flying all over the place, I think because I’m consistently lifting weights every forty-eight hours, but it’s settling about, oh, 27 pounds down from the MD number. I’m also up to 75 bicycle crunches a day. I also knocked out an hour of cardio every day this week except yesterday.
• N’s doing ok in school, only a few minor incidents. At least I think they’re minor.
• My classes are fine. I think one of my colleagues is taking a couple of my introductory classes in the spring. That would be a huge help…after last year’s 39 credit barrage and this semester’s overload I’m worn out.
• M and the boys have participated big-time in the big Possibility Playground build. Apparently the boys painted today.
• M wants to visit Florida in the spring. I asked her where she wants to visit with her mom, and she said “Cocoa Beach”. I looked up Cocoa Beach and apparently riptides are common in the area. The boys will not be going in the ocean, thank you very much. No, of course, they can’t fucking go somewhere sane. Whatever.
• I’ve meditated some and despite the previous bullet point I’m feeling pretty good.
• Tonight is beautiful. Shadow and I sat under the gazebo on the back porch, a couple candles burning, and watched the bats flutter towards the back field. I can see the ferns swaying in the breeze outside my window.
• I cut the back grass today for the first time in about a month. Why do people cut their grass so often? I thought the grass looked good enough long.
• I’m thinking of brewing beer for the first time since we lived in Roscoe Village. I don’t think I did followed directions correctly back then and I was much more impatient. See what a grown-up I am now?
• More later. Good night.

I’m on the couch, a little after 4PM, the Jets/Patriots game on television. My first two weeks in the football pool are not turning out exceptionally. Or, simply put, I suck.

Today has been a good, rainy Sunday. I want autumn to arrive wholesale. Let’s start with yesterday. I drove the slick roads west to the farmers market. About 50% of the farmers skipped the market. I can’t blame them because buyers were sparse as well. Still, the cheese and pepper people showed, so I picked up everything I needed and carefully drove home. What did I do in the afternoon? Oh, I watched a cool documentary called “The Gleaners and I”. Some legendary French filmmaker woman made the film. You could tell she was excited with the new technology and she turned the documentary about people foraging for food into an interesting meditation on the manner in which we glean ideas and images from each other. What did I do later? I made cheese enchiladas. The boys and I played football in the back field. I tried to read at the library but a student teacher found me in my hidden chair. Oh well. Later I hit the upstairs bedroom, cranked the air conditioning (the humidity was sticky and heavy), and read the last ninety pages of “Bridge of Sighs”. I thought about staying up later but crashed near ten, sleeping until 7:30AM. I guess the fatigue caught up with me. This morning I checked email, etc. before showering quickly and driving over to church for the first time in a while. The “two services” experiment is going well. I was cheered that the parking lot wasn’t packed and we found seats without difficulty. Of course, then the bullshit Sunday services planners fuck up and start the service with twenty minutes of bullshit announcements. Then no one knows who is supposed to be where downstairs and N starts to melt down since no one knows what’s up. Great. We moved him into T’s room, where M was teaching, and I cut out. Why bother going upstairs when only twenty minutes remain in the service? I drove over to my office and knocked out a productive ninety minutes. I cleaned my shelves, repotted some plants, ditched an overgrown plant (hell, it practically became a tree, I threw it in the woods behind the building), answered some email, gathered materials for tomorrow’s “work at home” session, and organized the last of Tuesday’s prep. After the office visit I feel less under the gun. Borders sent me a five buck gift certificate so I stopped at the bookstore on the way home. I saw a couple interesting books but bookstore visits become more scouting trips for what might be available in the library before I decide to buy anything. The latest M Robinson and a book on randomness (no pun intended) caught my eye. When I arrived home I checked online and reserved both from the library. M and the boys were at the latest Star Wars film so I worked out to football (Indy/Minneapolis), showered, and ate lunch.

Maybe I’ll work out again later. M is at Coscto. The boys are upstairs. I hope the rain remains for a few days. I have a poem about magnets and skeletons made of metal running through my head. We’ll see. Good afternoon.

M is up too, believe it or not. I was thinking of working out but the elliptical has been loud lately, not sure why, so I think I’ll wait until six or so. Maura wants to watch Veronica Mars, anyway. I’m on the front porch, listening to a steady rain, checking out Friday night email which means, well, next to no email. Maybe I’ll read soon. I suppose I could run outside in the rain. Nah.

Last night S and I drove over for the first half of the Port High football game. Damn, I wish I had taken the camera. I’d say maybe six, seven hundred people sat in the Port bleachers, mostly middle and high school students. About 25% of said students do not pay attention to the game at all. S and I first sat in a section near the gate. No other adults were sitting in the mostly deserted section. I wonder if some unwritten rule passed down through football attendee generations indicates that non-students should sit elsewhere, but S wanted to sit in that section, so we did for the first quarter. High school football is slow, man. Running play after running play followed by a bad pass play. Maybe all football is slow without television. After the first quarter S and I walked the bleacher gauntlet to the snack bar. This bleacher gauntlet is a bit nerve-wracking because of the bright floodlights and the feeling that you’re parading in front of the crowd. After picking up a coke and a water bottle S and I stood near the fence for the rest of the first half and part of halftime. The dance team did their thing while I talked with a former student’s dad. S and I bailed not long after the second half stopped. I’m glad we went. He and I don’t get to do a lot together on our own.

The boys fell asleep by nine. I was out of sorts, physically, hungry and wired, so I ate guiltily and considered working out but read another fifty pages of “Bridge of Sighs” instead.

Oh, yesterday I prepped my ass off between meetings so I think I can stay home from work on Monday. I might hit the office for an hour or two tomorrow morning just to make sure I’m set for Tuesday.

Ok, I’ve been thinking of tension, drama, and my upbringing lately. Sometimes I think I worry about unnecessary issues because worrying creates the level of internal tension to which I’m used. In other words, I’m accustomed to feeling tense so I create weird shit about which to worry in order to raise the level of tension to one in which I’m used. Disturbing thought.

The rain is picking up. I should mention how much I like the new Stars EP. More later. Good morning.

I’m on the front porch, listening to the train pass, listening to the crickets, who seem to be competing with the train for neighborhood aural dominance. Tonight T had his first football practice. I read on the side of the field until the moon, clouds, and breeze rendered reading a waste of a beautiful evening. Exhaustion might arrive out of nowhere, I suppose, but at the moment I don’t feel like sleeping.

What did I do today? N woke me at 6 or so. I worked out for thirty minutes (Sportscenter) and arrived at work by 8:15AM. Both classes (assessment and seminar) went well. In between I ate Jimmy John’s for lunch (1000 calories for the wheat 13! Too many!) and amused myself by printing out pictures of ball-jointed dolls with the caption “buy me, Preston!” for my friend Preston downstairs. I’m easily amused. Later I rushed home and scarfed some Pad Thai (I’m hungry constantly lately, between the stress, weightlifting, and cooler weather) before the boys’ listening conferences. All three were fine, although I don’t think S’s teacher (a former student of mine) has a handle on his reading yet. He’ll figure it out. T and I left the conferences and immediately hit his football practice. T is a decent player but I’m not sure he’s aggressive enough for football. We’ll see. Later I watched some of the Brew game (loss), some harrowing 9/11 footage, and I read a bit further into “Bridge of Sighs”. I should finish this weekend.

More later. Beautiful night. I wish I could have a beer. Maybe I will, although I want to work out in the morning or else I’ll bounce off the walls at work. Will one beer hurt?

I’m sitting in the dark watching the Brew game (1-0, we’re winning). The sleeping bag is spread all over the floor. M is on the computer in the office. The boys are either asleep or on their way to sleep. But I can hear one moving. I wonder which kid is up. S says he gets lonely when T falls asleep before him. I get that.

Why am I so tired? Perhaps the weather is a factor. I don’t know, but I’m exhausted. Today I slept a little later, worked out (I have to work out on Tuesdays or I’ll bounce off the walls), and hit the office about 8:45AM. Oh, N was in trouble because he was whining before school about wanting more to eat right before we were leaving for school. What a horrible way to start the day. I felt like shit on the drive to work. I pretended to teach (yay DVDs) through lunch, chatted with whomever wandered into my office, then set up the students with a librarian for both the 1PM and 4PM performances. Even though I worked out apparently the caffeine or inactivity left my body wired. I drove home, ate (fake burger in a hot dog bun), and tried to relax on the front porch. Tomorrow I’m working at home. Over the past few years “working at home” meant hitting the library or coffee shop because M, N, or both would be in the house. Now that M is working at N is an official kindergarten student I’ll have the house to myself all day. Will I have the energy to work efficiently? Time will tell. I’m tempted to check out the Brew game with Sab pitching but I’m too cheap and I’d rather watch on television. Maybe I’ll curl up in my favorite library chair and knock out the back end of “Bridge of Sighs”. I’m looking forward to the solitude. But I should probably work as well.

A few bullet points:

• M is watching “Veronica Mars” while she works out. I knew she’d like it.
• I’ve been listening to Stars lately. This afternoon I re-downloaded “Can You Trust Your Friends” since my first copy wasn’t working beyond the first three songs.
• If the Brewers collapse I’m going to be pissed.
• The boys beat me in the first week of the football pool. They finished at twelve, I finished at 13 (of 18).
• “Bridge of Sighs” is turning out well. Russo is underrated. He’s the kind of guy who will probably end up on syllabi 100 years from now.
• I’m staying steady at 25 pounds down from Memorial Day. My lifting, I hope, is keeping my weight from falling too much. I wouldn’t mind losing more weight, in terms of numbers, but I’m not willing to stop lifting just to shift the scale. The bicycle crunches are coming easier, too. Cold weather leaves me hungry. Still, I think I’ve worked out about ten days in a row, not a bad stretch early in the semester. Perhaps the “summer to school year” transition is complete.
• Both T and S are up. I’m trying to get them to talk each other to sleep like my older and brother did thirty years ago.
• More later. Good night.

Why good morning, everyone! I’m on the front porch, watching Jim across the street install new windows and catching up on email. M and T are leaving for the store soon. S and N are watching television after playing with clay Maura created (made? cooked?) on the stove. S is attending a birthday party in a few hours. I’m going to watch football and read. Maybe I’ll make enchiladas later. At the farmers market I found some good looking poblano (sp?) peppers that’ll work well.

So what did I do yesterday? Let me think. Ok, still nothing. Let me think harder. Oh, that’s right…I recovered from T’s birthday sleepover. Three of T’s friends slept over Friday night. Oh my god, the energy of three additional fourth graders in the house could have powered the state. Those boys were wired. Apparently they stayed up until 11:30 playing truth or dare. Whatever works. Anyway, I hit the farmers market in the morning after picking up some Starbucks tea (gift card almost gone, will return to Smiths Bros. soon). In addition to the usual (e.g. string cheese) I picked up the aforementioned peppers and some eggplant. After the sleepover boys left I worked out to Samantha Brown (the Brooklyn episode) and half-cleaned the house. I more or less crashed through the afternoon…not sure where the hours went. Oh, I cut and washed basil for freezing (hope that works) and made blue cheese potato salad (very good, if I may say so) and worked out a second time (Samantha Brown again, the Cape Cod episode). T wanted to spend some of his birthday cash so on a lark we hit Best Buy, Target, then Best Buy again. He’s torn between MarioCart and some computer game called “Settlers” but I think he’s leaning towards the latter. We had fun driving from store to store. Sometimes I think we chat more shopping than anywhere else. Later we watched Sheets blank the Padres (close one!). Once the boys were in bed I read Russo until falling asleep before ten. Rock and roll.

My shoulder hurts a bit but I lifted this morning anyway. M watched Veronica Mars while she worked out…I think she’s hooked. More later…beautiful Sunday on tap.